Tuesday, January 16, 2007

IN REMEMBERANCE: WOLVERINE

Man, MARVEL is pissing me off something FIERCE! While in some ways they're putting out the best stuff in over 15 years, they're also fucking up so bad its embarrassing and downright infuriating! What they are doing to WOLVERINE right now is atrocious.

First, they've removed his testicles so he's now the "good boyscout guy". Ever since Marvel pushed him to be the new posterboy for the company in the 90s, selling his image on pillows and pajamas for small children, he's been on the steady decline as a character. "I'm the best there is at what I do." What he does is kill and maim with his razor sharp claws. Odd choice to make the new Marvel mascot.... Anyway, back to rant at hand....

Then they've amped up his healing factor to the point of being a god. Case in point, in a recent issue, all of his organic tissue is fried off, leaving nothing but his adamantium-laced skeleton. Within minutes, he's back to normal. So, now he's basically immortal with crazy regeneration powers? WTF? I won't even get into the mere existance of X-23, the "Buffy" teenage girl CLONE of Wolverine (she sports 2 claws in each hand and a claw in each foot)... that's another rant, entirely.

Now they're telling all his backstory, removing the "mystery" from the "mysterious character" and weaving him into everything within the Marvel Universe; for example, apparently he saved Black Widow when she was a child... and killed NUKE's father babysitter when Nuke was a child....They're taking the George Lucas approach and integrating him into EVERYTHING! I'm just waiting for the reveal that he's the father of Captain America, Charles Xavier, Magneto and Christopher Summers (just to convolute the Summer's Family tree even further!). Which leads me to the next Crime Against Wolverine...

Its been revealed in Wolverine: Origins (the main culprit in these atrocities) that Logan has a son. Ok, I can go with it... he's been around a looong time... I don't think its a good idea, but I'll go with it... However, in the next issue, apparently we get to meet the little bastard. And guess what - he has the same hair as Logan and sports hand claws, too! The first image shown had him with 2 claws coming out, much like X-23 (only no adamantium). Well, today Marvel released a the variant issue cover. Oooooh, surprise! A 3rd claw, underneath (kind of like Omega Red).

So now we have Wolverine, X-23 and Wolverine Jr running around. Supposedly, he may have a brother out there with claws, too (Origin & Wolv: The End). And they are going to reveal the true relationship between Wolverine and Sabretooth in Wolverine #50 - my bet is blood relation, because they've been teasing us with that for decades, but who knows. Why don't they just go for it and have a Wolverine Family book with all of them in there? It could be called X-CLAWS. Jeezus.
I remember fondly back in the day when Wolverine was my favorite character. Now, what they've done to him these past 15 years... I can't stand him and truly wish he'd go away forever. He's forever tarnished and ruined. As far as I'm concerned, he died after the metal was pulled from his body by Magneto in "Fatal Attractions".
RIP, Logan San.

2 comments:

Maker said...

I couldn't agree with you more.....Wolverine is a crappy character now, he's no longer unique (which is what made him an interesting character in the first place). Wolverine:ORIGINS, really is one of the worst books I've read. seriously. him being an Horseman for Apacolyps was a better story. This book and the non-stop expulsion of his character have pretty much ruined him for all time. I don't want to hear "what about letting character's develope???" -going back and laying out his history (which SHOULKD HAVE NEVER been revealed) is not 'Developement'. It's changing him into someone that he's not. "developement" means adding on,...continuing,...not re-arranging the past. (wich seems to be Marvels way of "developing a character". Lets, just ruin him and pull out all the stops like they did with Venom,....."hey Venom is a cool original villan,..lets make another one and call him Carnage,..oooh,...lets make a WHOLE planet of Symbiotes, without EVEN KNOWING WHAT THE DEFINITION OF A FRIGGIN SYMBIOTE IS!!!!!!!!!!!"
for every one step marvel seems to take forward,..they take 5 back. Captain Marvell was a classic figure,...wish he were still around...I know,..let him have an illigitamate kid!!!...So now we will have x-23 , wolverine's son, sabertooth (who's probably related in some way) and Wolverine. When did marvel become the DC universe??? why don't you throw in a dog that can regenerate also,....and they can go on great adventures and eventually find a whole tribe of Wolverines. ........please,....please.......please, MARVEL. will you hire some friggin writters with A) some imagination,..B) an original thought not concieved by a TV show or Movie you've seen in the past 10 years...and C) somebody with some WORLD experience. someone who is far removed from there sophmore year in college.......please.......

-okk rant over

Anonymous said...

I remember when Wolverine used to be mean, nasty, politicallly uncorrect, he killed every moving thing. Where is the felling of the stories like Weapon X, that is logan at his best. A tormented man, trying to find his past, wtih the beserker rage of a thousand wild wolves.
Now he is part of s toy line of super friend for playschool or something.

Where are the good comic book writers, the lack of them are the reason why I stop reading spier man (all of that clone crap remember?) and the X men used to be a a really good book, where have all the writers gone?