VILLAIN OF THE DAY : ROSE

In the film Titanic, Rose decides to throw away a $1/4 Billion pendant in memory of an unemployed man who she had sex with just once, who also never even owned the necklace. Also, disregarding that the explorer on the ship that brought her there to tell her story had based his whole career on that necklace, yet she hung on to it on the off chance she’d be out at the wreck site again just to chuck it unnecessarily and then to croak in his bed.

 
Meanwhile she leaves out the part about letting Jack, the 3 day love of her life, freeze to death because she didn’t scoot a little bit on the GIANT door, and then perhaps, just perhaps her husband of many years after would have liked to know she was hanging onto $1/4 Billion dollar necklace? Maybe? How about he granddaughter who was her caretaker, pass her that heirloom perhaps? Early retirement anyone? How about sell it and donate the $1/4 Billion to a charity?

Rose then spends the afterlife with Jack on the Titanic... I'm sure Rose's husband just loves that.

 
The real villain of the movie, no doubt it was Rose.

THERE'S JUST NO WAY THIS PERSON ISN'T A SUPER VILLAIN

FINAL VILLAIN OF THE DAY: DARTH VADER !

Today's "Villain of the Day" is
DARTH VADER
DARK LORD OF THE SITH

'Nuff Said.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And thus completes the "Villain of the Day" run on JimSmash! I think we've had a good run and, for the most part, I've spotlighted all the ones I wanted to. Sure there were a few I missed or didn't post, but
I feel happy with what was posted. Plus, I'm tired of doing this everyday. ha!

I'll post the full list next week and maybe a poll so everyone can vote!

VILLAIN OF THE DAY: KHAN !

Today's "Villain of the Day" is
KHAN !

"I've done far worse than kill you. I've hurt you. And I wish to go on hurting you. I shall leave you as you left me, as you left her: marooned for all eternity in the center of a dead planet, buried alive. Buried alive.....Do you know the Klingon proverb that tells us revenge is a dish that is best served cold? It is very cold in space. To the last, I will grapple with thee.....From hell's heart, I stab at thee. For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee."
KHAN SCORECARD:
* Tortures Chekov and Terell with ceti eels...which drives them mad and leads to Terell's eventual suicide.
* Kills Scotty's nephew.
* Kills Spock.
* And from his own perspective before he dies, he kills Kirk and the entire Enterprise. He dies with the warm satisfaction of winning and having his revenge.


KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!!!!!!!

HERO OF THE NIGHT: BIZARRO !

Yesterday's "Hero of the Night" is not
BIZARRO!

Superman's arch-foe Lex Luthor once theorized he would be able to rid himself of The Man Of Steel if he could create a being with Superman's abilities that he could control. To these ends he created a Duplicating Ray capable of recreating anything that it's sensor's detected. Tricking Superman into supplying the genetic material, Luthor proceeded to create his perfect criminal henchman. The device however was created to duplicate native Earth creatures and could not properly reproduce Superman's Kryptonian physiology. The freakish creature he had created horrified Luthor. Bizarro was physically misshapen and had chalky, stark white skin and coarse hair and looked nothing like Superman. To make matters worse, Bizarro had below-average intellect and a distinctive backward speech pattern. Despite his limitations, Bizarro is a threat not to underestimated. Bizarro possesses all of Superman's powers, but without a noble mind to guide them. This makes Bizarro especially dangerous, as he is by far the most powerful and unpredictable member of the Legion of Doom."ME AM BIZARRO!"

VILLAIN OF THE DAY: LORD HUMUNGUS!

Today's "Villain of the Day" is
LORD HUMUNGUS
(from Road Warrior)

There has been too much violence ...
too much pain.
None here is without sin.

But, I have an honourable compromise.
Give me the gasoline and I'll spare your lives.

Just walk away.

I will give you safe passage in the wasteland ...
Walk away and there will be an end to the horror ...

I am gravely disappointed.
Again you have made me unleash my dogs of war!

---------------

VILLAIN OF THE DAY: THE KURGAN !

Today's "Villain of the Day" is
THE KURGAN !(by guest writer Maker!)

"......It also left a man's decapitated body lying on the floor next to his own severed head,.........a head at this time,.. has no name..........."

"I KNOW HIS NAME...."
-Here I am.
-I am the master of your destiny.............
-I am the one the only one.......
-I am the GOD of KINGDOM COME!!!
-Give me the prize!!!!

Who is the Kurgan??? And where doese he come from??? The Kurgans were an ancient people from the steps of Russia. For amusement, they tossed children into pits with hungry dogs to fight for meat. He is one of the few immortals who has moved silently down through the centuries, living many secret lives until the time of the Gathering, when the few who remain will battle to the last for the PRIZE.

An evil psycophant, who cares nothing for the laws of man and their sense of right and wrong ; He will stop at nothing to gain the ultimate prize. Kurgan carries an easily concealabls broad sword,which breaks down into three pieces. It has been known to house two blades hidden in the hilt and is strong enough to cut through steel pipes measuring 4 inches in diameter. Kurgan himself has amassed vasts amount of life energy from fellow immortals slain by his own hands thoughout history. This energy has augumented his own strength and resiliance as to were he has been seen to render stone walls asunder with a single blow, and allowed Kurgan himself to fall from heights of 100 feet, and sustain forceable blows without evidence of harm.

His voice crackles cold and mercilessly due to a near fatal blow by the once great Jaun Sanchez Veralobos Ramirez. Now only saftey pins holds the slit in his throat together. None the less, Kurgan is evil, sadistic, and merciless. And he has his eye on the PRIZE.

HOW DO YOU FIGHT SUCH A SAVAGE

???
With heart, faith and skill..........
In the end.......
There can be only one.

---------

"The Kurgan; he is the strongest of all the immortals. He's the PERFECT warrior. If he wins the prize, mortal men would suffer an eternity of darkness."

-Jaun Sanchez Veralobos Ramirez
(Chief Metalergist to King Charles the Fith of Spain)

-Deceased

VILLAIN OF THE DAY: GENERAL URSUS !

Today's "Villain of the Day" is
GENERAL URSUS !

General Ursus is very much the stereotyped "mad general", on top of being a brutish gorilla. He sees little past the end of his own nose, and is interested mainly in his own dreams of conquest, glory and power. Ursus uses recent crop failures, drought, and raids by wild humans as the basis for a call to invade the Forbidden Zone, where no ape has trodden since the beginning of their world. Suggesting that another tribe of humans lives there, Ursus stirs the apes up to want to destroy those humans, and claim their food source ("If they live, then they must eat!") for themselves.

Successfully declaring "a holy war" against the unknown, General Ursus assembles a gorilla army, and marches toward the Forbidden Zone. Leading the gorilla army into the heart of the mutant world Ursus encounters the mutant leader Méndez who declares, "This is the Instrument of my God!" pointing to the rising atomic bomb. Ursus draws a pistol and shoots Méndez, taunting "Your God didn't save you, did he?!" Ursus orders a block and tackle be set up, to pull the missile down.

Atomic Bomb - 0
General Ursus - 1

VILLAIN OF THE DAY: NIXON'S HEAD

Today's "Villain of the Day" is

RICHARD NIXON'S HEAD
(in honor of Futurama returning to TV)

Richard Nixon's head broke with head-in-a-jar convention and achieved mobility by having his jar mounted on the robotic body of Bender (who had sold his body for a large sum following a spike in titanium prices). He then ran for President of Earth in 3000, winning by a single vote (robots without a felony conviction, which excludes Bender, can vote and were widely impressed by Nixon's head's robotic "charisma"). Nixon's head returned Bender's body the night before the election, blackmailed by an audio recording Bender had made of Nixon's head ranting about the stupidity of voters and his intent, if elected, to "go into people's houses at night and wreck up the place" and to sell children's organs to zoos for meat. He managed to quickly secure a much larger robotic body, smashing his way into the White House after his election. Oddly, neither he or any other celebrity head used a robot body again.

Nixon's head's administration is marked by a violent and aggressive foreign policy, frequently entering into wars which have little or no purpose, and which occasionally backfire, leading to Earth being invaded by alien forces.

"Uh oh. I don't like where this is heading..."

VILLAIN OF THE DAY: JABBA THE HUTT

Today's "Villain of the Day" is
JABBA THE HUTT

Obese Slug.
Vile Gangster.
Slimy piece of worm-ridden filth.
Supporter of the Performing Arts.

Jabba the Hutt embodies characteristics such as vice, lust, greed, and gluttony. The character amuses himself by torturing and humiliating his subjects. He surrounds himself with scantily-clad slave girls of all species, chaining many of them to his dais. None of the residents of his palace are safe from his desire to dominate and torture. Jabba would send even his most loyal servants and prized possessions to their deaths. For example, the Twi'lek slave dancer Oola is fed to the rancor monster because she failed to satisfy his lust. ("She's a Slut! Bunggg!!" --Jay, from Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back. 'Natch.)

Jabba the Hutt's physical appearance is as grotesque as his character and reinforces his personality as a criminal and deviant. The character has an unmistakable smell: "The Hutt's lardaceous body seemed to periodically release a greasy discharge, sending fresh waves of rotten stench" into the air. His "swollen tongue" drips with saliva as he feeds on creatures that resemble frogs and maggots. Jabba's appetite is insatiable and he is not discriminatory about his diet. For example, his court jester, the Kowakian monkey-lizard Salacious Crumb, must make the Hutt crime lord laugh once a day, every day, or Jabba theatens to eat him.

Currently, Jabba has a HUGE reward offered for the death of his imposter, last seen in A New Hope Special Edition and The Phantom Menace.

"HUH-HUHH, HUH-HUHHH"

VILLAIN OF THE DAY: TURKISH DARTH VADER !

Today's "Villain of the Day" is
TURKISH DARTH VADER !

"Disengage from your body;live only with your mind and soul.Only then, can you breathe underground."
-------

(watch some)

VILLAIN OF THE DAY: CALIBOS !

Today's "Villain of the Day" is
CALIBOS

(from Clash of the Titans)

Calibos, the son of Thetis patron goddess of the sea, was a handsome Young man destined to marry Princess Andromeda the daughter of Queen Cassiopeia thus one day becoming the eventual ruler of the rich city of Joppa and all of Phoenicia. However due to his mothers spoiling and indulgence of him since his birth, he committed unforgivable crimes in the eyes of Zeus the great god of Olympus. Zeus gave him the wells of the moon in his care but Calibos instead hunted trapped and killed every living creature including Zeus’ herd of sacred flying horses all except the one remaining horse Pegasus.

As punishment for his shameful mark of vile cruelty, Zeus transformed him into becoming abhorrent to human sight, becoming a mortal mockery and thus being shunned and forced to live as an outcast in the swamps and marshes. Horns sprouted from his head, a long tail was formed and one foot became cloven, attached to a goat like leg, and his face became more devil like.

"Does this toga make me look ugly?"

VILLAIN OF THE DAY: GRAND MOFF TARKIN !

Today's "Villain of the Day" is
GRAND MOFF TARKIN

Imperial Governor.
Grand Moff.
Recognizable Foul Stench.

Tarkin had a reputation as a brutal, cold, and ruthless officer dating to the earliest days of the Empire. A large group of protesters stood on a landing platform directly underneath his transport, protesting the Imperial taxation on the distant planet Ghorman. Tarkin ordered his ship to land anyway, crushing and killing hundreds of Imperial subjects. This incident became known as the "Ghorman Massacre." Rather than punish Tarkin, Emperor Palpatine made him the sector moff for Seswanna, where Eriadu was located. The massacre was the first manifestation of what became known as the Tarkin Doctrine, also known as the "doctrine of fear." Tarkin explained it simply: "Rule through the fear of force, rather than force itself."

The Tarkin Doctrine is a doctrine of state terrorism that its namesake engineered; he was originally responsible for suppressing treasonous activity against the Empire. Rather than spend large amounts of money and resources to bend all the worlds of the Empire to Palpatine's will, the Tarkin Doctrine instead centered around the use of massive displays of force that could be used to discourage and prevent any opposition. It also called for the creation of a superweapon to enforce Imperial order, the result of which was the Death Star. It is cold, efficient, and promotes a understanding of fear, proving to be more powerful than military power alone.

Although Tarkin was killed in the destruction of the first Death Star, the Tarkin Doctrine continued to influence the heartless rulers of the Empire. Palpatine was very attracted to its concepts, and it became the standard operating procedure for the Imperial Navy; among the many superweapons the Empire would develop can be counted the Tarkin battlestation, the Sun Crusher, the Galaxy Gun, and the World Devastators.

"Charming, to the last."

VILLAIN OF THE DAY: VIZZINI

Today's Inconceivable "Villain of the Day" is
VIZZINI

(from Princess Bride!)

"Ha ha! You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous is never get involved in a land war in Asia, but only slightly less well-known is this: never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha... *ack!*"

Read the entire classic brilliant scene here.

VILLAIN OF THE DAY: FROLLO, THE UNSEXED

Today's "Villain of the Day" is FROLLO
(the hyper-sexually-repressed priest from Hunchback of Notre Dame)

---------------------------------
Beata Maria
You know I am a righteous man
Of my virtue I am justly proud

Beata Maria
You know I'm so much purer than
The common, vulgar, weak, licentious crowd

Then tell me, Maria
Why I see her dancing there
Why her smold'ring eyes still scorch my soul

I feel her, I see her
The sun caught in raven hair
Is blazing in me out of all control

Like FIRE!!
HELLFIRE!!!
This fire in my skin
This burning
DESIRE!
Is turning me to SIN

It's not my fault
I'm not to blame

It is the gypsy girl
The witch who sent this flame

It's not my fault
If in God's plan

He made the devil so much
Stronger than a man

Protect me, Maria
Don't let this siren cast her spell
Don't let her fire sear my flesh and bone
Destroy Esmeralda
And let her taste the fires of hell
Or else let her be mine and mine alone

I'll find her.
I'll find her if I have to burn down all of Paris

HELLFIRE!
DARKFIRE!!
Now gypsy, it's your turn
Choose me or
Your pyre
Be mine or you will burn

God have mercy on her
God have mercy on me

But she will be mine
OR SHE WILL BURN!!!!!
---------------------
whoa, Issuesss! Somebody get this guy laid!

VILLAIN OF THE DAY: SARK !

Today's "Villain of the Day" is SARK !

(from Tron)

Commander Sark is the henchman and chief lieutenant to the Master Control Program. Sark oversaw the training of new programs who were kidnapped and brought to the Game Grid by the MCP. Sark freely admitted that the training he arranged for the conscripts was somewhat substandard, as Sark's own elite force of programs nearly always won every match they took part in. Sark was known to enter the games himself from time to time, and was a grand master at any game he cared to try (favoring the game of Light Cycles over others).

Sark is brutally efficient at his work. Furthermore, the MCP himself pointed out that Sark actually enjoys his job - "you are becoming brutal and needlessly sadistic", the MCP tells Sark. "Thank you," Sark replies, taking immense pride in being labelled as such.

"Greetings. The Master Control Program has chosen you to serve your system on the Game Grid. Those of you who continue to profess a belief in the Users will receive the standard substandard training, which will result in your eventual elimination. Those of you who renounce this superstitious and hysterical belief will be eligible to join the warrior elite of the MCP. You will each receive an identity disk. Everything you do or learn will be imprinted on this disk. If you lose your disk or fail to obey commands, you will be subject to immediate de-resolution. That will be all."

VILLAIN OF THE DAY: CYLON NUMBER SIX

Today's "Villain of the Day" is

CYLON NUMBER SIX !"I am an angel of God sent here to protect you."

A humanoid model of Cylon
--an advanced android bent on the destruction of the human race. With drop-dead looks and a perfect body, her every move and gesture is smooth and precise, her eyes keenly intellilgent. Six posed as a corporate spy and carried on a long-term affair with Dr. Gaius Baltar, in order to gain access to the designs of the Twelve Colonies defense systems and disable the Colonial military. Thus allowing the Cylons to successfully attack the Twelve Worlds and annihilate most of humanity.

Six is cold and calculating, her every move a cunning means to an end. She has implanted a memory chip into Baltar's brain, allowing her to be ever present and teasing as he flees the Cylons with the Galactica and the last of humanity. She remains visible only to him, a constant reminder of the lustful treachery that resulted in the deaths of billions.

Number Six is extremely religious. In contrast to the colonists, she believes in a monotheistic God, whom she identifies as Love. She claims that God talks to her... and she, in turn, talks to Gaius Baltar. She has prompted Dr. Baltar to accept God's existence, and to accept that he is an important part of God's plan or will.

Number Six can, like other of the new twelve models of cylons, retain memories and be downloaded into another body if the original body is damaged. Like her counterparts, her body was designed to mimic the human body at cellular level making them almost undetectable to testing procedures. Instances of Number Six have expressed sympathy and regret over the destruction of the colonies, and have also claimed to be in love with Baltar. Her intentions and loyalties are also unclear. She has vastly helped humans by pointing out a Cylon bomb to Baltar on Galactica and helped him build a cylon detector, yet she also expresses enjoyment over what she considers the inevitable extinction of the human race.

Did I mention she's damn sexy?
Not just physically... attitude as well. I love the evil ones.

VILLAIN OF THE DAY: EVIL ASH

Today, on a very special, "Villain of the Day".

EVIL ASH
(by guest writer, Dylan!)

"I've got a bone to pick with you."

He may not be the biggest or baddest villain around, but Evil Ash has got more charisma than any ten villains out there.

A shotgun to the face?
--->"You're going down!"
Dismembered by a chainsaw?
--->"You're pissing me off, you ugly son of a bitch!"
Skin burned off?
--->"I...live...again."

"Who rules?!"
Evil Ash, that's who.

A protégé of "The Evil in the Woods", he grew from a mini-mirror Ash to full blow doppleganger in record time. Even got in a happy dance and punch or two on that goody little two-shoes original, before eating a load of buckshot. A born leader, he "shall command every worm-infested son-of-a-bitch that ever died in battle!" And let me tell ya, that ain't no little thing. It's an army folks; an army of darkness. With a hearty "Sally forth," he unleashes its fury upon the world of the living.
On a side note, Evil Ash is rumored to be quite the ladies man, reportedly "Getting some suger" from at least one peasent girl, who was quoted as saying, "I may be bad, but I feel good."

--------------------------------------------------------------------
*In Texas, there is an actual S-Mart store, where you can ask for the "Army of Darkness" tour which is a tour of the store, including Ash's specialty, housewares

VILLAIN OF THE DAY: THE DEVIL

Today's "Villain of the Day" is THE DEVIL!
(as portrayed in Time Bandits as "Evil")

"When I have the map, I will be free, and the world will be different, because I have understanding. Understanding of Digital watches. And soon I will have understanding of videocassette recorders and car telephones. And when I have understanding of them, I shall have understanding of computers. And when I have understanding of computers, I shall be the Supreme Being! LookGod isn't interested in technology. He knows nothing of the potential of the microchip or the silicon revolution. How he spends his time: forty-three species of parrots! Nipples for men!"

"And Slugs! He created slugs! They can't hear, they can't speak, they can't operate machinery. If I were creating the world, I wouldn't mess about with butterflies and daffodils. I would've started with lasers, eight o'clock, day one."

VILLAIN OF THE DAY: GOZER !

Today's "Villain of the Day" is

GOZER, THE DESTRUCTOR!

"Are you a God?..............Then...DIE!!!!"

Gozer the Traveler.
Gozer the Destructor.
Gozer the Gozerian.
Gozer - very big in Sumeria.
He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!
We're talkin' Old Testament, real wrath-of-God type stuff. Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies. Rivers and seas boiling. Forty years of darkness. Earthquakes, volcanoes.... The dead rising from the grave. Human sacrifice, dogs and cats LIVING TOGETHER! Mass Hysteria!

Choose the form of your destructor!
(um, I suggest clearing your mind)

THE CHOICE IS MADE!THE TRAVELLER HAS COME!!!!