Tuesday, January 23, 2007

DVD REVIEW: A SCANNER DARKLY

The other day I tried giving A SCANNER DARKLY a chance. I had skipped it in the theater because a)I find rotoscoped movies unimaginative and boring, and b)it was by the same people who did that dreadful movie "Waking Life", which I walked out on...at a free screening. You know the one where they sloppily rotoscoped actors reading their Philosophy 101 notes? Yeah, I took that class, too, but it didn't make me nauseated.

Anyway, I had heard good things about A Scanner Darkly, even from those who also hated Waking Life. Well, I couldn't even tell you what the fuck this movie was about because that dvd got kicked out of the player so fast it was still spinning as it was placed in the Netflix Return Envelope. Seriously, I lasted longer with fucking "Home On The Range" (the Roseanne Barr animated cow turd). If you've seen that movie, then you understand the severity of that last statement.

What killed this movie for me was not the rotoscope look (which is interesting visually as stills, but moving... not so much....), but fucking WINONA RYDER. How does this chick get work? Is it just me, or is she not the most annoying person working in Hollywood today? I simply could not take it. I have no idea what this movie was about or what happened or if it was good or not.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

WINONA RYDER is way hotter than NATALIE PORTMAN. If Hayden Christiansen wasn't in the Star Wars episodes, Natalie would've been the worst actor! I mean, geez, she's like 12 or something too.

JASE
(the instigator)

Anonymous said...

sooooo.....you didn't like it then?

maker said...

Winona Rider is the Female version of Keanu Reeves....both of them are wooden, can't act, can't emote,.and can't deliver lines in any sort of fluid natural way.........how can you stomach both of them in the same movie,......

Jim said...

To speak ill of Natalie is to beg for death!!!!!!!

otter said...

well, i thought woody and robert downy were hilarious in it, allbeit weird as hell. but thanks for letting me know what to call that kind of technology. i'm going to work it into my vocabulary.

"my plumbing was all whack so i rotoscoped the hell out of it."

is that the correct use?

Jim said...

er, not really.
however, if you're referring to backed up plumbing and overflowed septic, then you can use "winona".

Anonymous said...

Maker is right! I never realized it before, but he's 100% correct on the Winona thing!

Anonymous said...

SUCCESSFUL INSTIGATION!!!

Anonymous said...

maker needs grinning to understand an actor is smiling. Pathetic jerk

Jim said...

annonymous - Winona fan? hahahaha. Kidding aside, I ask people to not bash other posters in here. If you do feel you must, please post as a name you'd like to go buy in here - "annonymous" is just that - stand by your character attack. As a general "rule", do not bash against the following:

-Other posters
-ALIENS
-Star Wars (Original Trilogy)
-Natalie Portman
-Comic Books

Hahahaha
:)

Mr. Legs said...

I once read an Aliens comic as an insert in a Star Wars original trilogy comic book, where there was a character that looked surprisingly like Natalie Portman, that made me projectile vomit after reading it....then, I thought about Maker, because I always think about Maker when I puke, who loves ginning actors, which made me vomit again!!!!

God!!! The misery of it all! I'm so unhappy!!! WHY MEEEEEEEE????

-Keanu Reeves...I mean uh...erm...Anonymous.

Pathetic Jerks!