STARCRASH !

Are you one of the legions of fans that were disappointed in the quality of the Star Wars prequels? Would you like to know how much worse they could've been? What if Lucas was to instead remake the Original Trilogy with an all Italian crew and a budget of about sixty Lire? What if Han Solo was a hot chick that stole Barbarella's wardrobe? What if Luke and Obi Wan were merged into one character, and that character was kind of a jerk? What if C3P0 looked more like Darth Vader, and instead of speaking with an upper class British fop accent he spoke with a down-home Texas droll? What if the Princess was played by David Hasslehoff? For the answers to these, and many more burning questions, look no further than Luigi Cozzi's chef d'oeuvre, Starcrash.

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I WANT THIS!!!!