Thursday, May 04, 2006

VILLAIN OF THE DAY: GENERAL SARRIS !

Today's "Villain of the Day" is GENERAL SARRIS!
(of Galaxy Quest)

General Roth'h'ar Sarris of Fatu-Krey. Ugly. Green hued. Black sharp teeth. Metal hand. Freaky "crab claw" hair. His name (and looks) evokes fear and loss of bowel movements across the Galaxy. The peaceful Thermians from the Klatu Nebula, who for a million years following the great nebula burst were one, have been systematically hunted and slaughtered to near extinction by Sarris and his soldiers. The resources of their planet for years has been plundered by Sarris - the flames...the death.... Often Sarris will say one thing, and do another. Promise mercy and deliver destruction... He is a mighty General indeed - and has seen war and death as you cannot imagine!
As a Commander, does he not know every bolt, every weld of his ship? At every turn, does his enemies not demonstrate the necessity for their extermination? What happens if you cross the dreadful Sarris? He merely releases you........INTO SPACE!!! That is if you're lucky. For Sarris takes much pleasure in the ancient art of Torture! You may scream and plead for mercy all you like... plead for a quick death. Be patient, for Sarris shall let you die- oh he shall! - when he grows weary of the noises you make!!! Be assured, his little plaything, you shall die...Ya know, one time the crew of the Starship NSEA Protector once tried to take on Sarris. FOOLS!!!! Here's how Sarris rolls:
Sarris steps onto the Bridge - the devil himself - and BACKHANDS Jason brutally, sending his body crashing to the floor. He smiles, raising his gun and begins FIRING...
>>Everything turns to SLOW MOTION......<<
Tommy is hit. His body goes slumping over his console, pushing the Thrust control full forward. The engines roar hike a wounded animal. Mathesar rises and tries to grab the gun, but Sarris backhands him, sending him flying across the room. Mathesar's two crewmen foolishly attempt to stop Sarris' impending slaughter. One is shot, sent tumbling backwards. On the ground, Jason's eyes flicker at the carnage around him. It's like a nightmare, but all too horribly REAL. He tries to rise, but he isn't able... Around him the bloodbath continues... Sarris fires wildly, shooting Gwen as she tries to reach Jason. She falls, her body sliding next to Jason. Jason looks into her eyes as they dull to lifelessness. He YELLS grief stricken... Alexander, rushing Sarris, is HIT, clutching his neck as his life falls away.
"Perhaps I am not as stupid as I am ugly, Commander."

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

SARRIS!!!!!!!!!! YESS!!!!