VILLAIN OF THE DAY: GOBLIN KING

Today's "Villain of the Day" is
JARETH, THE GOBLIN KING!!

(by guest writer, Mr. Legs!!!)

"Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave."

God, I wish I had a nickel for every time I've fallen for that line! Well, perhaps I wouldn't have fallen prey to those words if I hadn't first heard them escape the lips of David Bowie while playing the Goblin King in Labyrinth back in 1986. Oh, my fragile 11 year old ears!

Jareth is the keeper of the Labyrinth, king of the goblins, and master of all he surveys. Although his origins are unclear, what is clear is that he possesses a penchant for riding gear, bedazzled jackets, horse whips, floating orbs, eye shadow, and pubescent American babysitters. What he doesn't have an affinity for?...UNDERWEAR! Get a load of that satchel of magic orbs! Hello!!!

Although Bowie's line reading may feel a bit Botox'd, he commands the screen with a majesty that's un-nerving and completely entertaining. Jareth is a force to be reckoned with. Betray him and he'll tip you head first into the Bog of Eternal Stench before you can blink! Consider yourself warned.

"You have no power over me!"
Well...maybe just a little...(tee hee)

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*Hahaha, thanks Mr. Legs! Well done!