KNIGHT BLOGGER

HENCHMEN OF THE MONARCH ! ! !

3 Fantastic clips of my favorite Henchmen (#21 and 24) of the Monarch, for your pleasure!

Self Soundtrack:

Mammal vs Insect Debate:

Yard Sale Super Fight:

WATCH VENTURE BROS ! ! ! !
Season 1 available on dvd NOW ! ! !

JESUS IMAGE FOUND

In honor of the last day of show,
here's a holy image!

Beat that "Jesus On Toast"!!

* click on image to see Jesus *

BATMAN BEYOND SEASON 2

ATTENTION!
Batman Beyond Season 2
will be available on dvd Oct 24th!

That is all.
(seriously, tho, pick it and season 1 up. It's a cool show... damn, I didn't put it on my Top Cartoon list the other day. Don't tell no one.)

TONY STARK IS WHO ? ! ! !

My first Smash for Year 2 begins now! Tony Stark will be played by ROBERT DOWNEY JR in the Iron Man movie. Wow, I really didn't see that one coming! I don't think he'll put in a bad performance, its just I have a difficult time seeing him as TONY STARK. His acting style, karisma and general nuances simply do not fit the character. I hate to admit it, but Tom Cruise would make a perfect Tony Stark. Not that I'd want him cast (he's always just "Tom Cruise" instead of a character... plus he's a crazy whacko), but the look, charm and attitude is Tony Stark. However, I remember saying, "WHAT?! Michael Keaton is Batman?!" and he ended up doing a great job as far as I was concerned - not the Batman/Bruce Wayne of the comics, but still a unique, good job. Ok, that wasn't a very good Smash, was it? Don't worry, I'm sure something will come along soon that will piss me off - it always does. heh

JIMSMASH MERRI-GO-ROUND O' MEMORIES

Remember those "anniversary" episodes of TV shows where instead of giving you a brand new episode, they give you a crappy "highlights reel" of shows-past that made you feel both jipped and jaded? Well why should JimSmash be any different?!
(plus I'm a total List Junkie, if you haven't noticed)

Here're are some JimSmash posts from the past year!!!!

MEGATRON METRON MEGASUCKS
TOP 10 SCI FI MOVIES
AVP2: SURVIVAL OF THE SHITTIEST
CREATIONISM MUSEUM COMETHS
HOW TO WATCH ALIENS DVD
BOBA BLUES
CARTOON BABES
STAR TREK MOTION PICTURE
LE ALIEN QUATRE REVISITE
STAR WARS: THINGS HEREBY BANNED
CHARNOK ARRIVES!
TERMINATE PIRACY
AWESOME CREATURES
RAD SPACESHIPS
MADONNA JIM SMASH
THE FIRST LADY EXPOSE
EVIL TWINS: KNIGHT RIDER
ZILLA SPOTLIGHT: SMOG MONSTER
80s SPOTLIGHT: HAWK IN 25th CENTURY
DESERTED ISLAND: TOP 10 MOVIES
VILLAINS OF THE DAY

THANK YOU JIMSMASHERS!

Hopefully YEAR TWO will be even DORKIER!!!

...you can relive all the other greats here:
JIMSMASH ARCHIVES

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*I left out posts that were basically links to other things cause this post is all about JimSmash, not about all the other crap out there!
Hmph!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JIMSMASH ! ! !

JimSmash turns 1 year old today!!
Woo Hoo!!Wow, I can't believe it's already been a year!
1470 posts and 23781 hits!
To mark the celebration,
I'm posting the REAL Chewbacca pitching.
(First post, a year ago, here.)
I still think an All-Wookiee League would rock.

Thanks to everyone who visits JimSmash!

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*and thank you WooSpace, for inspiring JimSmash!

AUBURN 5-0

Whew!

That last drive had me nervous!!
What's with Auburn bringing it down to the last freaking seconds this season!

Anyway, WAR DAMN EAGLE!

AU VS USC (GAMECOCKS)

The AUBURN vs South Carolina game is about to begin. Maker, my friend and SC fan... today on the battlefield, you are dead to me.

DEFEND YOURSELF!!!!!!

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*thanks ...j... for the super sweet pic! WAR EAGLE!!!!

HUMAN KATAMARI

ALIENS COSTUME (BUY IT FOR ME)

Fuckin A!!!

Somebody hurry and buy me this killer ALIENS costume on ebay!!!!

PREDATOR 3

Looks like we may get another PREDATOR film! Rumors of Arnold and The Rock being it have been completely discredited, however (I shit you not) they ARE trying to get STALLONE to be the star! The Predator has been turned into such a mockery already, I say go for it. But REALLY GO for it and make it "RAMBO VS PREDATOR".

Its also been reported that AVP2 is going to be more like ALIENS than AVP1. But seeing how AVP was like a worm-infested shit log, that could mean AVP2 will just be plain diarrhea; a step up, but still. I only ask they stop making blasphemous ALIEN movies.

MORE HARRY POTTER 5 PICS

Hey, Potterheads!

I posted a few more pics of Harry Potter 5 here.

Check em out!

THE MONARCH & HENCHMAN

Found our Halloween costumes this year, guys!! Mr Legs, you need to fly back to LA to be THE MONARCH!! We all shall be your loyal henchmen!!! This pic was from DragonCon in Atlanta, this year.
Great job to the dudes in the pic - well done.

WATCH VENTURE BROS ON CARTOON NETWORK!!!

MR LEGS HAS MOVED

Mr Legs' Squirrel Harem is no more. But don't cry, he's simply relocated over to MySpace! Click here for his new Harem and bookmark with demented glee if you "want to see any old posts, ie. gay cartoon characters, menstruation cartoons, gassing kittens, or photos of him wearing horns" as he puts it. He's really quite harmless, folks, and has the heart of a child. Sure, its in a jar on his desk, but he does have one nonetheless!

SUPA'FREAK SCREECH

Oh man! Dustin Diamond, aka "Screech" from Saved By The Bell, is in his own sex tape! It involves a three-way with two women, various bodily fluids action and apparently even a dirty sanchez. The working title of the 40-minute vid is "Saved By The Smell." Hahaha, oh man!

Click here to order!

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*thanks, Ali!

TOP 10 BEST SEQUELS

Awhile back I posted the Top Worst Sequels.
Today I thought I'd a bit more positive and post.....

Top 10 Best Sequels

which are on par with the first one
(or possibly surpasses!)

(in NO particular order... well, ok, ALIENS is cleary #1...)

* ALIENS
* Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan
* Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back
* Godfather II
* Toy Story II
* Hellbound: Hellraiser II
* Road Warrior (Mad Max II)
* Terminator II: Director's Cut
* Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers: Extended Edition
* Austin Powers II (excluding any scene with Heather Graham)

EVEN STEVPHENS: RELIGION

HATING THE GAP ADS

2 weeks ago I awarded The Gap the title of "Douchebag of the Day" for its disgraceful use of Audrey Hepburn. Well, it looks like I'm not the only one who feels the same way. Read:

Dear Gap,

I've been meaning to write you a letter for about a week now, but I had to work on controlling my inner rage monkey (like the ones at the beginning of 28 Days Later) so I didn't damage my keyboard.

I think I'm ready now, though, so here goes: I loathe your new ''The Skinny Black Pant''' ad campaign (click here to see it), the one where you marry the image of Audrey Hepburn getting jiggy in Funny Face to AC/DC's ''Back in Black,'' and turn her into an unwitting pitchwoman for your product. The woman is dead. She did not ask to have her jaunty moment of movie self-expression turned into an idiotic call to pair a white sock with a black trouser (even if her son approved the message). And no, I am not bitter just because I'm allergic to sit-ups, and therefore not an ideal candidate for a look that's best displayed over the most slender of physiques. The ubiquity of your campaign -- on TV, on billboards, on subways and in magazines -- only serves to fuel my fury. There are few things more gag-inducing than having a trend stuffed down your throat (no, actually, not everyone in khakis, okay?!). And worst of all, you've managed to make me despise Audrey Hepburn a little bit, and for that reason, I hate you.

Going back to baggy,
Michael Slezak

(source)

MONKEY KNIFE FIGHT ! !

Cartoon Network Style!!!

* Click to enlarge & check out some detail *

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*thanks, Shane (& Dylan)!

CONAN GUIDE

Crom has listened to your prayers!

Here comes CONAN: THE ULTIMATE GUIDE TO THE WORLD'S MOST SAVAGE BARBARIAN, written by Conan Guru ROY THOMAS!!

The book includes artwork by Mark Schultz, Gary Gianni, Gregory Manches, John Buscema, Barry Smith, and others. It even features artwork from the greatest Conan artist of all, Frank Frazetta. It also features character profiles, maps, art from original paperbacks, comic books, video games and more.

Stan Lee says, "No one has done more to popularize Robert E. Howard's Conan the Barbarian than Roy Thomas, whose thrilling stories and brilliant editing propelled the world's favorite barbarian to the list of Marvel Comics' best-sellers for more than a decade. And now Roy has brought his knowledge and skills to bear in this ultimate guide, a fan's dream come true."

So buy the book, or be slain by sword and savagery!

FAVORITE TV CARTOONS

Off the top of my head,
MY FAVORITE TV CARTOON SHOWS:

Looney Tunes
Flintstones
Dungeons & Dragons
Transformers
Voltron (Lions)
Simpsons
Futurama
The Tick
Batman: The Animated Series
Family Guy
Star Wars: Clone Wars
Venture Bros (my personal favorite TV show right now)

WHAT'RE YOURS?!!

EYELIDS OF POWER

Dong Changsheng, 44, pulls a car for about 30ft (10m) with his lower eyelids in Changchun in Jilin Province, China, one of the stunts he performs with the help of breathing exercises. Jim, 31, squirms in his chair at the sight of hooks in Dong's eyelids pulling a freaking car.
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*thanks, M!

DRAGONS SERIES 4

* Click on image to enlarge *

McFarlane Toys has revealed their 4th series of DRAGON toys!
From left-to-right:
Berserker, Eternal, Fire, Sorcerers, Water & Komodo.

I really dig the Water and Komodo dragons.
More pics here.

TREX RAWKS ! ! !

Oh.
Muh.
Gawd.

I came home last night after a long 12 hr day (the first of 7 this week) and guess what surprise was at the apartment waiting for me? GUITAR HERO, baby, courtesy of TRex!!! I was up pretty late rocking out and shredding the plastic axe! haha! I have the best wife EVER!!!!

MONTY PYTHON DARTH VADER

Cute.

"After being turned to the Dark Side
of the Force, Darth Vader takes his first
official position on the forest moon of Endor;
Guard Duty."

*If clip does not play within JimSmash, click here.

COVER OF THE MONTH: CRACKED

Kinda old news, but fuck it.
It cracks me up.*

I was always a MAD reader, tho.






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*No pun intended.

COMPOSITING PACKAGES

If you're in FX, you may find these to be humorous.

* Click on image to enlarge *

LUCAS WANTS YOUR MONEY

And yet ANOTHER line of Star Wars figures. Good grief, guys... enoughs enough already!! Here's a figure from the new "30th Anniversary Collection"; Galactic Marine.. First, WTF? "Galactic Marine?" Was that approved? Shouldn't it be "Snow CloneTrooper" or something atleast? This sounds like a generic SW figure you'd find at the Dollar Store.

The other figures in Wave 1 are Mace Windu, Go-Go Gadget R2, Obi-Wan and Mustafar Lava Miner. Hmmm, 30th year yet all the figures are from Episode III which is just over a year old. Nah, I don't think so... if you're marketing and selling a line of figures celebratings its 30th year, then have the line be the ORIGINAL movie characters. Bah! Anyway, here's the packaging of new toys I will not be buying.

AU COOKIES

Hey, Fellow Auburn Fans! You might get a kick out this. At the wedding, they had AU cookies in addition to the wedding cake! Yeah, baby!!

Gimmie a group "Waaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Eagle! HEY!!"

HARRY POTTER 5 PICS ! !

Behold the first 2 pics from the next Harry Potter flick "Order of the Pheonix"!!! The lady in the pink is the nasty Umbridge! She's not what I was expecting; a wide, toad-like woman.

FUTURE PRIME

Galactic Books is publishing Future Prime: The Top Ten Science Fiction Films byJohn L. Flynn and Bob Blackwood, and includes 125 accompanying photos and illustrations, factoids, trivia, and interviews. They spent five years polling science fiction fans and doing research, which was a total waste of time. All they needed was my Top 10 Sci-Fi Movie post. Duh. Once again, JimSmash proves you need no other.

BACK FROM WEDDING

Back from the Wedding!
Here's a synopsis/highlight list of the weekend:

* Awesome wedding in Kansas! (please hold all Oz jokes, thanks)
* War Eagle!!! - Groom & Fam are Auburn Tigers! Crazy!!!
* AU beats Buffalo (shocking) - and Alabama gets beat by Arkansas! Eat it, Bama.
* Sonic Drive Thru at 12:30am - I wish Sonic was in LA.
* Cracker Barrel - Biscuits & Gravy and a Pecan Log to go! haha
* David Hasslehoff - at the airport
* Safe landing in LAX, sleep rest of day (and hangover) off.

OUT FRIDAY

JIMSMASH WILL BE OUT FRIDAY
TO ATTEND A WEDDING.Click here to see a scary Star Wars Wedding.
Check out that Groom's "Vader Tux"!!

whoa.

ADULT SWIM IS AN AUBURN TIGER

Awww, Yeh!!!
Anyone watch ADULT SWIM tonight?
You know their in-between-promo things they do....
White text on black screen...
Well tonight they had one that gave props to the ole AUBURN TIGERS of Auburn University!! That's right, in HUGE White Letters was "WAR DAMN EAGLE!!!"

Awesome.

STAR WARS: THE UNKNOWN DISCOVERY

Here's a STAR WARS fan film for ya! The joke wears off pretty fast, but there are a few geeky gems in there if you can hold out. If you haven't seen Pulp Fiction, don't bother watching.

STAR WARS: THE UNKNOWN DISCOVERY
Run Time: 13min

If clip won't play, click here.

SUNDAY BLOODY SUNDAY

Bush singing U2's "Sunday Bloody Sunday"

TURKISH STAR WARS 2

Awesome, they've made a sequel to TURKISH STAR WARS!!! Unfortunately, it doesn't look like they used existing Star Wars footage this time.
Click here to watch the trailer!
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Previous JimSmash posts about Turkish Star Wars:
Turkish Star Wars
Villain of the Day
Poster
Turkish Star Trek

THE OFFICE SEASON 3

Tonight, Season 3 of THE OFFICE (U.S.) kicks off! Sweet!! I'm very curious where they are going to take the show because the British version (which its based off) stopped after Season 2 (plus Xmas special that wrapped up dangling plot lines). Check it out tonight!
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Clarification: I pushed the original British version the other day and some took it as bashing the American version. Sorry, I tend to type in stream-of-consciousness quickness and hit "post". I love both shows and by season 2, the American version became its own organism. You can watch and enjoy both. Don't worry, you're not betraying the characters! haha. The British version feels more real and documentary than the U.S. and definitely has a higher level of uncomfortable hilarity. Plus, series (both) creator RICKY GERVAIS is fucking brilliantly funny as manager David Brent. His performance alone is worth watching. So watch both!!! Twice the funny!

RETURN OF THE WOO

BEHOLD THE RETURN OF WOO!!!

That's right! After a month-long hiatus, WOOSPACE is back, baby!

Click here and bookmark for daily Woo!

SPACEBALLS CARTOON

We're scraping the bottom of the idea barrel here, folks. MGM TV has commissioned an animated tv series based on SPACEBALLS. Yes, that Spaceballs. Its going to be written by 2 of the movie writers and Brooks will do the voices of President Skroob and Yogurt. I love Spaceballs, but come on.... it's only funny with live action goobers in those costumes. The cartoon will be on G4 next Fall.

I can't wait for the THREE'S COMPANY cartoon!

SUPERMAN II - DIRECTOR'S CUT

Great Caesar's Ghost!!!

Richard Donnor's Director's Cut of SUPERMAN II is nearly upon us!!! November 28 is going to be one helluva geeky day!!!
"Huh?" you say? Well...

Donner had already shot most of the Superman II footage during Superman: The Movie. But as production on the sequel continued, creative differences between the director and the film’s producers became irreconcilable and Donner left the project. Although Richard Lester was hired to finish production, he chose to make major changes to the film, leaving only vestiges of Donner’s original vision and concepts in the version of Superman II that was ultimately released to theaters. Adding back a substantial amount of that unused footage, the director has seen his original vision restored and brought to fruition. Most notably, the “Donner cut” restores the Marlon Brando role, filmed for, but not included in the final theatrical release version of Superman II. The legendary Brando’s performance as Jor-El has finally been restored in key scenes that amplify Superman lore and deepen the profound relationship between father and son. There are also many other changes, large and small.

I can't wait!! OH CRAP!!! I just realized I'm going to be out of the Country then! CRAP! Guess I have to cancel my vacation.....

WHITE AND NERDY

This one hits a little to close to home...
except for the "being smart & good with math" part...
and that's actually the comic store I go to.
*sigh*

"All of my action figures are cherry!"

5 MOVIES EVERYONE LOVES BUT I HATE

5 MOVIES EVERYONE ELSE LOVES BUT I HATE:

* A History of Violence
* Shrek 2
* American Beauty
* The Mummy/Mummy Returns
* Titanic

WHAT ARE YOURS?!!

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* Star Wars, Alien, Aliens & Dark Crystal are not allowed on any list associated with this post. ;P

TASTY FAGGOTS !

A West Midlands (England) family is playing a central role in the quest to raise the profile of a forgotten British dish - faggots.

The Doody family from Wolverhampton has been crowned The Faggot Family in a national competition, and to kick off their reign they will launch National Faggot Week

The family, including Lewis, 13, and Grace, 7, eat faggots twice a week, with mashed potato and mushy peas. "The great British faggot is full of flavour and a great belly warmer at this time of year."

(article)
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* thanks, Mr. Legs!
** this is probably only funny for immature Americans.

THE HOBBIT SANS PETER JACKSON ?

Ah, Nuts!!
I posted before that they are moving forward with the Hobbit movie.

Peter Jackson regarding The Hobbit:

"I was reading that this morning on the net. It's a rather strange thing to wake to. I'm up for it, but somebody should phone me because I'm getting a bit booked out at the moment!"

"Everybody asks me about THE HOBBIT," Jackson continued, "you know? But the reality is I've never had a conversation with anybody about it. Not one person has ever made a phone call to me. I don't know. The irony is that we're acquiring our own projects now and we're buying the rights to books. The reality is, to be quite honest with you, we're getting ourselves now nice and busy, in a good way, for the next 4 years. So, people have not (spoken to us) about THE HOBBIT and it's making it more and more impossible for us to be involved."

"Obviously, I'm interested in THE HOBBIT, but right now we have no emotional investment in it. For the last few years, we have put our hearts into other projects. It would seem strange to have somebody else do it, although some part of me would be interested in going to see somebody else's HOBBIT, be able to buy my popcorn and go and sit and watch the film."

Making The Hobbit without Peter Jackson would be like making Star Wars without Lucas.... oh wait, lemmie think of a better analogy.... you get my point.

GUITAR HERO

My new favorite video game is GUITAR HERO (PS2)!!!!!

Holy crap, this game is so freaking fun, its hilarious!
I highly recommend buying it!
RAWK!!!!!!

TOP 11 SCI-FI TV SHOWS

"Brothers don't shake hands... Brothers HUG!!!!"

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Off the top of my head,
my Top 11 Favorite Sci-Fi TV Shows:

* Twilight Zone
* Star Trek
* Battlestar Galactica ('70s)
* Planet of the Apes
* V
* Star Trek: Next Generation
* Quantum Leap
* Alien Nation
* Farscape
* Firefly
* Battlestar Galactica (2000+)

What are yours?!!

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Note: I have not seen V since I was 9yrs old.

WTF? - PEE & POO

"We are Pee&Poo. Escapees from the bathroom, we are entering the world ona journey filled with new adventures. Maybe we can stay with you for awhile?"

WHAT THE FUCK?!!!!

ALIENS - AS IN PLURAL, DAMNIT ! ! !

Question I overheard today:
"Have you seen ALIEN 2?"

Grrrrrrr, it's ALIENS!!!! Sheesh!!
Seriously, I know its insane, but that really bugs me.
*sigh*

And no, I did NOT go over and correct the person. I'm not THAT bad. I did, however, instant message Melchy to bitch. Hahaha!

THE OFFICE

Why do people who love
THE OFFICE with Steve Carell REFUSE to watch the ORIGINAL British version? I enjoy the American version, too, but the British version is leagues funnier!! Come on, people!! There's room for both! Its made by the SAME people, for crying out loud, so its similar in humor... just way funnier... so the "well, I don't like British humor" doesn't apply here.

Ok, everyone who hasn't seen it, I am ordering you to rent/buy the British version this week and watch it. Why deny yourself one of the funniest TV shows EVER?!!!
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Note: The American version's 1st episode was a recreation of the British version's 1st episode. After that, the two shows are different.... yet similar. heh.
WATCH IT!!!!

FOOTBALL QUOTE OF THE WEEK

* Click on image to enlarge & read text *

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*thanks, Karen!

AUBURN BEATS LSU

Woo Hoo!!
Saturday the AUBURN TIGERS defeated LSU in their 3rd Season game!! It was a good, tough game and I thought I was going to puke during the last, final drive by LSU. Holy crap, that was too close for comfort! But in the end, we won!!! GO TIGERS!!

Oh, and I want to pummel kicker John Vaughn... last year against LSU, he missed a total of FIVE fucking field goal attempts, which cost us the game. First field goal attempt this game: Miss. Why is that punk still on the team, man? Jeez!!!!

Anyway, good job Tigers! Let's go all the way!!
WAR EAGLE!!!

JIMSMASH CASTING COUCH: COBRA COMMANDER

Sure you'd probably never see who's under the helmet/hood (nor should you), but I'd love it if GARY OLDMAN was COBRA COMMANDER in a live-action G.I.JOE movie! I can see it in my mind, and its glorious.

Quasi-Casting Couch:
* Obi-Wan Kenobi - Age 45

" SHUT UP AND DRIVE, DICKHEAD ! ! ! "

I don't know about you, but I'm nearly killed atleast once a day in traffic by some jackass "driving" while talking on their cellphone. It's bad enough that most of LA drivers are completely clueless and out of their minds on perscription drugs. Anyway, our governor, Arnold Schwarzenegger (jesus, I still can't believe he's our governor) is signing a bill today that bans California drivers from driving while talking on the cellphone (headsets are ok).
Thank the Gods!!!
Of course, its probably not going to change anything. People will still do it and pay the fines IF its even enforced....

source.

GEN PETS

Gen Pets!!

I have no idea what these are
or what they are about.

Click here for more freaky pics.