Friday, November 24, 2006
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
JIMSMASH VACATION - BACK IN 2 WEEKS
blagabaargglegggle..."
JIMSMASH will be inactive for the next 2 weeks
as I tour the countryside of Italy, France & Latveria.
(and have a Safe, Happy Thanksgiving!)
CELEBRITY POP-UP BOOK
Click here.
FANBOYS TRAILER
1998. Four guys from the Midwest drive across America to honor the wish of their dying friend: to watch "Star Wars: Episode I -- The Phantom Menace" at Lucas' Skywalker Ranch before the movie's worldwide release. Man, we already know the movie ends shitty, and I'm not talking about the dying friend. Still, the journey looks like fun!
EAGLEMAN
God I love the Internet!
Today seems to be a YouTube day. Sorry for the lack of original JimSmash genius and whit you've probably become accustomed to.... but these are damn entertaining nonetheless!
JASON CAMPBELL STEPS UP
Auburn's old QB JASON CAMPBELL is getting his shot as the REDSKINS are having him start the rest of the season!!!! As you know, I'm both an AUBURN TIGER fan and WASHINGTON REDSKINS fan, so this is freaking awesome news!!!
Can I get a "Warrr Eagle!" from my fellow AU fans?
And can I get a "Hail to the Redskins!" chant from my fellow Skins fans?
Yeah!
DOUCHEBAG OF THE DAY: OJ SIMPSON (AGAIN)
"DOUCHEBAG OF THE DAY"!!!
and this time he's brought a friend:
The FOX Network.
OJ will star in a two-part interview, "O.J. Simpson: If I Did It, Here's How It Happened," in which the fucker discusses "how he would have committed" the slayings of his ex-wife and her friend.
As FOX puts it:
"O.J. Simpson, in his own words, tells for the first time how he would have committed the murders if he were the one responsible for the crimes. In the two-part event, Simpson describes how he would have carried out the murders he has vehemently denied committing for over a decade."
The interview coincides with OJ's new book "If I Did It."
Fucking despicable.
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This is OJ's 3rd appearance on JimSmash in a negative light.
His 2nd Douchebag of the Day!
1st appearance and 2nd appearance.
NEW MARMIT ALIENS STUFF
Must. Have.
(XMas Season doth approach, people! *hint-hint*)
THE HOBBITT NEWS
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
UNDER-THE-RADAR MOVIE RECOMMENDATIONS
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BLOOD OF HEROES: Brutal "sport" with a dog skull in an post-apocalyptic "mad max" world with Rutger Hauer. LOVE this movie!!!!
NIGHTWATCH: Russian movie of the Supernatural battling each other. If you like Supernatural, Vampires and the cool editing of "Snatch" and "Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels", check this one out. First of a Trilogy in progress.
EQUILIBRIUM: Christian Bale in a cold, sterile future without passion. Oh, and he uses a wicked cool fighting style that incorporates Kung Fu with Gunfighting.
PI: Finding God through Math. Seriously, its quite good!
CUBE: Awesome and Fucked up! If you're not intrigued by the first 10minutes... (...j... and Byron introduced me to this one! Thanks!)
DELICATESSEN: Gorgeously made by Jean-Pierre Jeunet and Marc Caro. French, weird and amazing!
CITY OF LOST CHILDREN: Jean-Pierre Jeunet and Marc Caro's second outing together!
OLD BOY: Korean. If you liked Memento and/or any Tarantino flicks, you'll dig this.
BATTLE ROYALE: Japan, the near future. The Youth is out of control. Solution? Randomly snag high school classes, dump them on an island and make them kill each other until only one is alive. Great movie.
DARK CITY: What the Wachowski's copied when making The Matrix, often times shot-for-shot. (see earlier JimSmash post)
DARK CRYSTAL: I put this on the list because I run into alot of people who have never seen it. One of my Top 10 favorite movies.
GARBAGE PAIL KIDS
I was into them as a child (3rd grade?)...
Series 2 was where I started collecting, lasting perhaps until Series 4 or 5. Then I left all that kid crap behind and began my growth into the mature adult you know and love today.
Click here to see em all!
Click on the bottom images of Card Packages for each series.
Man, I really wish I still had my GPK cards/stickers! Just looking at those images again makes my teeth hurt from that hard pink gum and my nose hairs burn from the smell of the gum powder. Unfortunately they are now considered "highly collectible" and in order for me to get those series once again, I'll have to shell out some bank. Boooo.
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* The fine folks behind GPK were also the ones behind WACKY PACKS! Those were a bit before my time, but my ever-so-slightly older friends were into them and have actually gone mad crazy with buying the NEW ones they've brought back!
MATRIX RIPPED OFF DARK CITY
Click here to see screenshot comparisons between THE MATRIX and DARK CITY. Very interesting how much The Matrix took from Dark City.
NEW HEMAN JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Hey, remember back in the early 90s when they tried to relaunch/reinvent HE-MAN? Well, Season 1 is about to be released on DVD!
Yeah, I had tried to forget it, too.
Feel my pain.
STAR WARS VS BATTLESTAR GALACTICA
There's also StarTrek/Galactica, StarWars/StarTrek/Galactica/Bablyon5...
.......but they're not as good.
Monday, November 13, 2006
WAL-MART NAZI SHIRTS
If you have no idea what I'm talking about.....
A snippet from Bent Corner:
"The Death's Head symbol was worn by the members of the German Nazi SS. The Totenkopf on the Wal-Mart t-shirt looks very similar to the divisional insignia of the 3rd SS Division Totenkopf. As you can see, It's almost an exact copy. Neo-Nazi's sometimes use the Totenkopf image because it is not as easily identifiable as other Nazi symbols such as the swastika. You might see one of these tattooed on someone's arm while standing in line at Burger King and think it's just an poorly done pirate skull. It's not."
DAVINCI CODE DASUCKS
SIMPSONS MOVIE PROMO
BATMAN & ROBIN STING
BAD FOOTBALL WEEKEND
First, AUBURN got their asses handed to themselves by Georgia!! And then the REDSKINS were pummeled by the Eagles!! WAHH!!!!!!!!
I know Maker was hurting, too... South Carolina didn't do to well, either... although they didn't get slaughtered... but maybe losing by 1 point is more painful....
Group Hug, Everyone!
Saturday, November 11, 2006
Friday, November 10, 2006
RIP JACK PALANCE
JACK PALANCE passed away today, of natural causes, at the age of 87.
Here's a pic of him doing 1-handed pushups at the 1992 Oscars, where he said (with that classic grin), “That’s nothing, really. As far as two-handed push-ups, you can do that all night, and it doesn’t make a difference whether she’s there or not.”
Another famous quote was, "Most of the stuff I do is garbage... most of the directors I work with are incompetent, too. Most of them shouldn’t even be directing traffic."
Sweet.
He was fucking awesome! Personally, I'll always remember him in City Slickers, Batman and Young Guns. Hey, he rocked in all, man! He will be missed.
SPIDEY 3 TRAILER
Looks fun and consistant with the other 2 outings (interpret that however you like). And it appears they gave MJ some soap and deodorant since Spidey 2! I'm still bummed they didn't use the comic version of the Black Costume. It would have kicked ass!!
FUNNY ELECTION PICS
2) Sen. Rick Santorum (R-PA) conceding. What cracked me up was his kids beside/behind him crying their eyes out. I mean, politicians usually shamelessly use and exploit their family members up there, but jesus christ! Did his daughter REALLY need the doll for the quick concession statement? Ok, maybe. She's just a kid. But in the greasy world of Politics, it seemed a bit forced for the cameras. The best was on television, where you can see his older adolescent daugther and son balling their eyes out, too. The poor boy was trying his hardest not to, but just couldn't keep em back. Safe bet he got his ass handed to him at school the next day.
I remember back when Jesse Ventura got up to the mic during his run for governorship. He stood alone. The Press first asked, "Um, where's your Family?" to which he replied something like, "The voters are voting on me, not my family. I'm not going to bring them up here and use them like that. Now let's discuss the issues at hand here." Awesome.
Anyway, these are going in the ole collection of humorous Political pics... like at the 2000 Democratic Convention, when Gore attacked Tipper's face in I guess a celebratory kiss that looked more like creepy assault. Haha
Thursday, November 09, 2006
COURTNEY LOVE - COURTNEY HATE
I-I just threw up a bit in my mouth....
Its been reported that COURTNEY LOVE, the walking waste of waste, is going to pose nude for some British Fashion Magazine (Pop). Please don't get me wrong - this isn't a petty commentary based on looks and sex appeal (although that can be included). No, this is based on what a pussbag turdstain-of-a -soul and inflamed boil-on-Society she is. Who in their right mind would even want to see this? Perhaps by "fashion magazine" they mean "Scat Mag". Yoko may have broken up the Beatles, but atleast she didn't make John kill himself.
Too far?
MARVEL ZOMBIE CLIX
Marvel Zombie Reading:
Ultimate Fantastic Four #21-23 (or Ult FF: Crossover trade paperback)
Ultimate Fantastic Four: Frightful (trade paperback)
Marvel Zombies (trade paperback)
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
WHEN DORK'S CRY
NO DORK IS SAFE FROM:
MOVIE DEATH SAD:
* Death of Optimus Prime (Transformers: The Movie)
* Death of Yoda (Return of the Jedi)
* Death of Ewok in Battle of Endor (Return of the Jedi) :)
* Death of Mick (Rocky III)
* Death of Spock (Star Trek II)
* Death of Gandalf (LOTR: Fellowship of the Ring)
* Death of Willem DeFoe (Platoon)
* Death of Uncle Ben (Spiderman)
* Death of Pa Kent (Superman: The Movie)
* Death of King Kong (King Kong - any)
ANIMATED SAD:
* Jessie Flashback Montage (Toy Story II)
* Death of Coral (Finding Nemo)
* Grizzly attacking Hound (Fox & the Hound)
* Death of Bambi's Mom (Bambi)
* Goodbye scene (Iron Giant)
COMIC SAD:
* Death of Gwen Stacy (Spiderman)
* Death of Jean Grey (Dark Phoenix Saga)
* Spiderman: Blue (Rememberence of Gwen; pick it up!)
NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!:
* Death of Hudson (Aliens)
* Death of Wash (Serenity)
* Death of Kira (Dark Crystal)
* Han goes in the Carbon Freezer (Empire Strikes Back)
WTF?! I'M GOING TO PUNCH SOMEBODY!:
* Death of Newt & Hicks (Alien 3)
YOU HAVE NO SOUL IF YOU'RE NOT SAD WHEN:
* Olive crying about letting down Dad (Little Miss Sunshine)
* Dumbo & Caged Mom (Dumbo)
* End of Old Yeller (Old Yeller)
CHICK FLICK SAD:
* Death of Julia Roberts (Steal Magnolias)
* Death of Ed Bloom (Big Fish)
GOOSEBUMP/TEARS!!!!!!!!!
* Rocky goes the distant "Adrian I love youz, too!" (Rocky)
* Rocky wins the Title "Yo, Adrian! I DID IT!!!" (Rocky II)
ADRENELIN SAD MOMENT:
* Dad goes after son's killer; Music is half (Last of the Mohicans)
*this list is incomplete and, for the most part, off the top of my head
**thanks, TRex, BDev and Maker for the assist!
VEGA BROS MOVIE ?
TARANTINO is thinking of pulling off the dusty shelf his planned sequel to both RESERVOIR DOGS and PULP FICTION. That's right, ONE movie, a sequel to both, which he originally wanted to star the VEGA BROTHERS (Vic and Vincent....James Madsen and John Travolta).
Madsen in an interview: "Well Tarantino called me and said, ‘You know, I’ve figured out a way to do it. It can’t be a prequel because you and John don’t look the same. It wouldn’t make sense as a sequel because you’re both dead.’ And he gave me an idea that would be really outrageous – that John and I would be the twin brothers of Vic and Vincent. We come from Amsterdam to LA to avenge the deaths of our brothers."
Holy crap! Works for me! It has that insane whacky cool feel of a Tarantino film. Twins of Twins on a Quest for Revenge. I'm there!
THE MOVIE PRESIDENT IS . . .
AKA "PRESIDENT DAVID PALMER"
from TV's 24!!
(by 1 vote, beating ID4's Bill Pullman)
Congratulations, Haysbert!
Especially since 24 isn't a movie!
BUSH PRESS CONFERENCE
"The Democratic Party will no longer be of any concern to us. I am hereby dissolving the Senate & House of Representatives permanently. The regional governors now have direct control over their territories. Fear will keep the local states in line. Fear of, well, everything; Terrorism, Bird Flu, Gay Marriage, Evolution Theories, etc. In order to ensure our security and continuing stability, America will be reorganized into the first Republican Empire, for a safe and secure society!"
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*this joke was stolen from Jason.
LUCAS KILLS INDIANA JONES
"That was terrifically frustrating. I worked for over a year on that. I worked very close with Steven Spielberg. He was ecstatic with the result and was ready to shoot it two years ago. He was very, very happy with the script and said it was the best draft of anything since Raiders of the Lost Ark. Lucas read it and said, 'Yeah, I don't think so, I don't like it.' And then he resets it to zero when Spielberg is ready to shoot it that coming year, (which) is a real kick to the nuts. You can only waste so much time and so many years of your life on experiences like that; you can only get so emotionally invested and have the rug pulled out from under you before you say enough of that." (source)
Personally, I say don't even make a 4th one. RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK was absolutely amazing and one of my all-time favorite films! Films like that come around once every 10-20 years if you're lucky! TEMPLE OF DOOM was a let down as was LAST CRUSADE (Don't agree? Watch em again this week). So I say preserve what's left of the Mythos and don't make Indy 4. However, it is frustrating to hear Lucas allegedly came in and killed the project especially hearing Spielberg and everyone were very very excited about it. Oh well.... maybe its for the best and I should be THANKING Lucas.
SOVIET PROPAGANDA FILMS
Never Before Seen in the West
The eight-hour series, issued as a DVD 4-pack, will retail for $89. The series is based on more than four dozen rarely seen anti-American, anti-German, anti-British, anti-Japanese, anti-Capitalist, anti-Imperialist pro-Communist animated shorts produced by the Soviets from 1924-1984.
“This is a groundbreaking collection for both the unique insight it provides into the Soviet propaganda machine that was operating all those years, as well as the opportunity to appreciate truly beautiful, although sometimes disturbing, films by brilliant and creative undiscovered filmmakers,” said Joan Borsten, President of Films by Jove and producer of the series.
The series is divided into four categories:
- American Imperialists
- Fascist Barbarians
- Capitalist Sharks
- Onward to the Shining Soviet Future: Communism
“Lenin considered cinema the most important art for promoting the Bolshevik party line. The stereotypes of capitalists and imperialists, developed by animation collectives in the mid 20s, were still being used in the 70s and 80s,” said Borsten.
Films by Jove acquired worldwide distribution rights to much of the Soyuzmultfilm Studio library in 1992, and since then has digitally restored approximately 50 hours of film. The series include: “Fairy Tales from Far Off Lands: The Animated Classic Showcase,” “Mikhail Baryshnikov’s Stories from My Childhood,” “The Jungle Book,” “Masters of Russian Animation,” “The Adventures of Cheburashka & Friends,” “Mythology of Greece” and “Animated Soviet Propaganda.”
A fact sheet and additional information are available by contacting Joel Parker, JParkerPR@sbcglobal.net, 818-990-2252.
GREEN ARROW ON SMALLVILLE (& COMIC COSTUMES)
And now, guest writer MAKER would like to say a few words:
"Someone, somewhere along the way, decided that costumes couldn't work, because they could only see spandex. And those people are finally proven wrong. Finally someone gets it. Costumes are just that...Costumes. If you can't see past the spandex..then perhaps you don't have the imagination to be reading comics. Comics have a unique style to them, and costumes are drawn to emphasise the characters themselves. But if you want to translate them into the "real world" you have to look outside the drawings and see them as uniforms, or outfits. There is no need to get rid of them, just use them as a template for your interpretation. GA proves that [on Smallville]. Super-heroes wear costumes ...that's one of the reasons why they're called SUPER-heroes."Totally! Often I hear the argument that the comic version costumes will simply NOT work on film without looking silly, yet will hear the same people geek out on how cool Spiderman looks in the movie. Makes no sense. Like Maker mentioned, spandex does NOT work. And here's a bit of info for non-comic readers.... Superheroes' costumes were never spandex!! Somehow that's crept into the Public's Mind. I think a bunch of low-budget movies in the 80s used spandex (which was "in" at the time) and it stuck. Repeat: Superhero costumes are NOT spandex! So yeah, I think with some imagination, the comic book versions can easily make it to the Silver Screen and look awesome. The X-Men do not need biker suits... simply use the Spiderman approach and make it work!
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
HEATH KNOWS DICK ABOUT THE JOKER
DRE: Have you read many Batman comics?
HL: No and I think that’s kind of helping me a little bit. I was never really a fan of comic books or comic book movies. I never despised them but I was never one to read them. I never sought out the films but I would sit down and enjoy them. So because of that I really feel that I’m not carrying much pressure.
GUITAR HERO II
Guitar Hero II came out today!!
It has a crapload of songs, too! Including some Spinal Tap!
I'm sold!
Unfortunately, we're about to take a big vacation trip so money is tight.
No Transformers. No Guitar Hero II.
Hopefully Santa Clause will deliver the goods...