Thursday, February 08, 2007

REMAKE-SEQUEL HELL


To save some time, here is a list of remakes, sequels and TV adaptations coming to the Big Screen soon, that I would very much like to Smash. And Hollywood blames illegal downloads and pirated dvds for their lack of profit. I'm thinking no imagination or talent is the culprit, myself.

REMAKES:
* Universal's Classic WOLF-MAN
* Porky's
* Weird Science
* Revenge of the Nerds
* Halloween
* Friday the 13th
* Hellraiser (although this one's being done by Clive Barker....)
* Predator
* Flash Gordon
* Spies Like Us
* The Hidden
* The Graduate (starring Justin Timberlake. Uggggh)
* The Birds
* Death Wish
* Short Circuit
* John Carpenter's The Thing
* Dirty Dancing
* Time Bandits
* Pet Semetary
* Evil Dead
* Seven Samurai (jesus....)
* Dreamscape
* Logan's Run
* Dirty Dozen
* Death Race
* Phantasm
* Creepshow
* Creature From The Black Lagoon
* Scanners
* Easy Rider (Hopper's take: "I feel shitty")

SEQUELS:
* The Mummy III
* Shrek the Third
* Fantastic Four 2
* AVP 2
* Terminator 4 (and 5, 6...)
* Lost Boys II
* New Jack City II
* Jaws 5 (yes, you read that correctly)
* Indiana Jones IV
* Ghostbusters 3 (although this will CG animated)
* Gremlins 3
* Ocean's 13 (Ocean's 12 was an abomination)
* Rush Hour 3
* Beverly Hills Cop 4
* Universal Soldier 3 (rumored)
* Bachelor Party 2
* Meet the Parents/Fockers 3 (they have a baby)
* Happy Feet
* Mr & Mrs Smith 2
* Grease 3 (why?!!!!)
* War Games 2

ADAPTATION:
* Knight Rider
* CHIPS
* Get Smart
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UPDATE
:
Looks like Revenge of the Nerds is dead in the water! yes! (link)

5 comments:

woobot said...

I just went Berserker.... crazy ape shit flowing from my ears... No! No! BUT...., if the industry has to make crap, I hope they at least bring work to L.A.

Jen said...

Terminator 4 (and 5, 6...)??

SOMEONE MAKE IT STOP!!!

MAKE IT STOP!!!

Rich said...

The Thing ... again?????

Lost Boys 2... where they become the good guys and go after terrorists...

THE TIMEBANDITS... NOOOOOOOOO

Shortcircuit is being remade??? I'm still wondering about the first one...

The only one on the list that I half-way would like to see is:

Creature from the black lagoon.

Other than that one the list is very depressing.

If we're lucky we shouldn't see tje following ones any time soon:

CITIZEN KANE 2

CASABLANCA 2

THE GODFATHER 4

GONE WITH MORE WIND

LAWRENCE OF ARABIA 2: JIHAD

ON AMOTHER WATERFRONT

SCHINDLER'S LIST: THE NEXT BATCH

SINGIN' IN THE RAIN AGAIN

yet...

Anonymous said...

ugh.

I didn't see Happy Feet 1, but the commercials made me want to kick penguins.

Andrew Glazebrook said...

The thing even about that list of remakes is nearly all have had some kind of sequel or sequels,even The Birds,or have had TV spin-off's already !!