HAVE A GREAT LABOR DAY WEEKEND ! !

FOR ALL THE HARD WORKIN'

JIMSMASH READERS OUT THERE!

(see ya TUESDAY!)

ALIEN BOARDGAME

Speaking of WOO2...
Check out what WOO and the Mrs bought me the other week! That's right, an intact Kenner ALIEN BOARDGAME from 1979!! Not only is it super sweet, but its fun, too!! You run your astronauts around the Nostromo trying to get to the escape shuttle NARCISSUS. Unfortunately, you have to avoid not only other players' ALIENS, but your OWN! They move faster and can take shorcuts via airducts. Awesome. And check out the "BLOOD SMEARED" instructions! At first we thought it was spilled ink or something, but further research revealed that its intentional and all the instructions look like that! It's the little xtra effort for the kids' enjoyment that make things in this world so much better.

Which brings me to another thought... I'm still amazed that Kenner, back in 1979, actaully made a [small] toyline based on ALIEN. I mean, for one the movie is a RATED-R HORROR/THRILLER... what little kid went and saw this flick in the theaters? (and this is before home video)... or should I say, what parent back then let their kids see it? Enough to warrant a toyline? Very weird. Although, that's why the big 18" figure is rare - parental outcry had Kenner pull the toys from shelves! But, no complaints here, as those old toys and games are super duper cool and I'm slowly collecting em (they are rare)! In addition to the cool new game, I have the 18" action figure , some puzzles and a few other little items.

Must... have... them... all....!

THANKS, WOOS!!!!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*My checkbook has had the boardgame image on the front for several years now. Really, are you that shocked by this?

DARTH LEDERHOSEN

I was about to post the funny VADER LEDERHOSEN pic that FiveFingers pointed us to in the comments section earlier, but then I saw over at WOO2 he had put the image into a friday bumper! Dunno if Woo saw the pic here or from somewhere else but his bumper is both hilarious and awesome! Thanks, FiveFingers! And go visit the infamous WOO2!!

Side Note: Apologies for the slow JimSmash activity this week... I'm currently slammed with work. I need to figure out how to turn JimSmash into a full-time paying gig, that way you can get even MORE JimSmash fun on a daily basis!! Anyone want to put me on their payroll?

PACMAN RUG

Check out this hand woven PACMAN rug!!!!
It can be yours HERE for a measly $1,800 USD (approx)
I know someone who's Pinball room would like nicer with this....

RANDOM FIND: BEST FREEZER EVER

Dylan, I expect to see your freezer looking similar,

if not better,
to this the next time I come over.

ALIENS VS GALACTICA

ALIENS Vs
BATTLESTAR GALACTICA!!!

Nice fan art! But it would only work if everyone died and Galactica was forced to self destruct. The Aliens ALWAYS win. Says so in the Bible. Ok, there can be ONE survivor.... 2 survivors if one of em is DAGGIT, the chimp in the robot-dog suit.
------------------------------
* Artist unknown.

KCROSSLEY ALIEN ART

Kev Crossley is a fellow ALIEN fan and has made some pretty neat looking paintings inspired by Giger's creature! His lighting, coloring, texture and artistic interpretations of the Alien remind a bit of some cool death metal album art in the 80s... like Obituary albums, perhaps?

Click HERE or click HERE to see his other ALIEN pics!
Click HERE to see his other work, including Lord of the Rings.

CUSTOM MARVEL ZOMBIE FIGURES

Dig these really cool custom figures of
MARVEL ZOMBIES!
by NTT
AWESOME! I love that Zombie Thor!
----
*thanks, Five Fingers!

SIMPSONS LIVE-ACTION CASTING

*Click image to enlarge*

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
* For the life of me, I cannot remember where I grabbed these images from many months ago ( yes, it's taken me this long to assemble). Apologies to Source.

LIGHTSABER GOES TO SPACE

LUKE SKYWALKER's original LIGHTSABER from A NEW HOPE is going into space! That's right, the original prop will be taken aboard the space shuttle DISCOVERY come this october! Better yet, CHEWBACCA himself will hand deliver the saber to NASA officials. And [sigh] JANGO FETT and [sigh-sigh] son BOBA FETT will help push the the back of the plane onto the tarmac. The flight will also be greeted by a platoon of STORMTROOPERS and R2-D2. It'd be sweet if the astronaunts had to fight their way to the shuttle. "Don't get cocky, kid!"

Many Bothans died to bring you this information......

(link)

VOTE FOR NEPTUNE COMICS ! !

Hey, Everyone!

Do me a favor and VOTE for Lisa's kickass store NEPTUNE COMICS. It's super duper easy-peasy. Simply click HERE and enter your email. Then when you immediately get the confirmation email, click on the confirm link. DONE! And Neptune gets a vote in City Voter and you've helped out our dear friend LISA! YAY LISA!!!! If you have more than one email, you can vote more than one time, too!

And if you think about it, post a comment letting us all know if you voted!

THANKS, EVERYONE!!!!

DICKHEAD OF THE DAY: ROB DICKHEAD

Some people deserve to be pummeled. For example, this schmuck ROB... last name unknown, so I'll call him "Rob Dickhead".... Rob Dickhead got his hands on an ORIGINAL casting of HAN SOLO IN CARBONITE from the ORIGINAL prop used in EMPIRE STRIKES BACK. Score, right?! Well, Rob Dickhead fucking SAWED OFF the face and then replaced it with a casting of his own dickhead face. Are you kidding me? Go make your own, dickhead! You don't have to fucking DESTROY an original replica MADE FROM THE ACTUAL CAST!!! One halloween, we cast Maker from head to toe and had ourselves a life-size Maker in Carbonite... took 2 days and it was fun. Note that we didn't destroy a piece of film history in the process? So if you see this guy, pummel his dickhead ass.

(link)

MISLEADING OMNIBUS

Dark Horse Comics is jumping on the Omnibus Bandwagon and churning out some of there previous work in uber-collections. ALIENS OMNIBUS VOL 2 has been solicited and its bullshit. The cover has the killer awesome art of DAVE DORMAN from his ALIENS: TRIBES Hardcover Graphic Novel... which is NOT collected inside.

Even worse, inside is the horrible maxi-series "ALIENS: COLONIAL MARINES", bleecch. That series was simply god awful, silly, cartoonish, insulting and unreadable. I mean, the story included giant sea-monster Aliens (argh!!), Vasquez's supposed younger sister (ugh, puh-lease) and human-alien hybrids called "Bug Men" with their lame ass hillbilly over-all wearing leader (see pic). The interior art was pretty wretched, too. Just thinking about that series has my blood-pressure rising..... Anyway, that art on the cover of the omnibus is misleading, man! That aint cool! Its like putting ALIENS on the cover of the AVP DVD.... kinda like THIS!

I do, however, recommend the ALIENS OMNIBUS VOL 1
And of course, I recommend the before-mentioned ALIENS: TRIBES.

AQUAMAN SHOULD BE COOL

Ah, AQUAMAN. The joke character of comics, by fans and non-fans alike. Why does he get zero respect? Me thinks its primarily to his rendition on SUPER FRIENDS. Also, to date I have yet to see a solid kickass comic featuring him (the recent short-lived Pfeifer/Gleason run came close). I think he's a character full of potential, worthy of respect and being one of the "Big Guns" of DC.

One of the biggest problems with Aquaman is that no one really knows what his CHARACTER is; What's his personality and powers?
What does he bring to the table? Most people I talk to just say, "yeah, he can talk to fish. That's it. Lame!" I say BAH to that noise. But he does need to be redefined, I think.

Click HERE to read more of my thoughts on the matter.

STEAMPUNK LIGHTSABER

Made by... er, "CaptainChewbacca's" friend. (link)
Pretty sweet!

--------------------------------
*thanks, Five Fingers!

KUATO SINGS "CHOCOLATE RAIN"

*AUDIO A MUST!!!*
Original "Chocolate Rain"

BEAKER BUSTED

*Snagged from CasualSlack!

LIFE-SIZE BOSSK

Nerds rejoice! No longer must you practice kissing on your kid sister's cabbage patch kid! You can now tongue-lash with the LIFE-SIZE BOSSK bust statue!! It's only $500, but in the end, can you put a price on love? Click HERE to buy, you romantic, you!

300 TRAILER - FAMILY GUY STYLE

*AUDIO A MUST*
----------------------------
*thanks, Richard!

LAW: YOU DON'T SEE STORMTROOPERS' FACES!

The worst thing Lucas did with the Star Wars Prequels was making BOBA FETT a CLONE.... and a clone of that douchesack JANGO FETT. Um, so now the Stormtroopers all look like fucking JANGO? Blashphemy, George.

Ok, that's the worst thing he did BESIDES making the Force a parasitic virus, creating Jar Jar, making Anakin a bitch, Yoda the flipping dancig frog warrior, that short order chef........*grumble grumble*...........

Anyschmoo, look at this new SNOWTROOPER figure. I love the Snowtroopers. Mainly because they are fucking rad. But this new figure..... it... it has the head of Jango... oh god how I hate it... I hate it sooo much... that... it... it... flam - flames. Flames, on the side of my face, heaving... breathle - , heaving breaths.... Heaving breath...

Grrrr, JIMSMASH!!!

RANDOM FIND: NO SERVICE

HA!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PEE WEE ! ! !

PAUL REUBENS TURNS 55 TODAY!

AVP 2 TRAILER

Here's the first [R-rated] trailer for AVP2 (now titled "Aliens Vs Predator: Requiem"). The plot involves the "PRED-ALIEN" hybrid from the first movie attacking a small midwest town in the U.S. Predators and other aliens are added to the mix for what will surely be a poopfest.

NOTE: If video no longer available, search for "AVP2 Trailer" on YouTube.... they keep taking it down due to copyright material... because, you know, people watching the trailer across the globe is bad for business.... anyway, search for it, its about 2:22 in length.

I'm very sad to see two of the best "cinema monsters" turned into cliche drivel. Especially the ALIEN, which as you all know is borderline religion for me, so this really hurts me. Why must FOX turn them into trite, slasher-baddies preying on horny teenagers? Expect to see the Predators in HOCKEY MASKS for "AVP THE THIRD". *sigh* This and the GIJOE movie will be the death of me.

And what's with the super lame PRED-ALIEN Hybrid?
It looks like the stupid KENNER ALIEN QUEEN figure from 1992! ARGGGGHHHH!!!!
JIMSMASH!!!!!!

MISS SOUTH CAROLINA ! !

Holy shit.... just....wow....
Click HERE to hear the audio.
Seriously, you really need to hear the audio.

Sweet, here's the clip via YouTube:

JIMSMASH-LA

HAVE A GOOD WEEKEND!"JIMSMASH-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA!!!"

KEEP A LOOK-OUT. . .

These are 4 Star Wars figures I really want;
* McQuarrie Concept Design DARTH VADER
* SW Holiday Special BOBA FETT - Boba's debut
* McQuarrie Concept Design BOBA FETT
* McQuarrie Concept Design STORMTROOPER

If you happen to come across them at Toys R Us, Target, Wal-Mart, wherever... grab em for me and I'll pay you back..... but no more than $10/figure! (plus shipping costs)

Thanks!!!!

COOL GIJOE COMIC COVERS

*Click image to enlarge and geek*

Here are some cool GIJOE comic covers for you to enjoy and hopefully get rid of that hippo testicle taste from the news earlier. Those old Marvel Joe comics, in the 80s, by Larry Hama ruled, man. I've also included some cool newer images... the newer comics blow, but they sure had some perty covers. The cover to #46 was so awesome, it blew my shit as a kid... still does. I'll let ya find it to see what I'm talking about.

OPTIMUS PRIME PC MOD

By Cybertron's Moons! 36-yr old JOHN MANGUS built a transforming 6-FOOT 10-INCH TALL Optimus Prime PC mod! He also put a 7" LCD screen in Prime's waist so you can watch movies, like Aliens, Star Wars or the awesome 1984 Transformers: The Movie! He even went the distance and made the Aubobot MATRIX of Leadership!
6-ft tall-plus, holy shit!

(source)

AWESOME WARRIOR'S TABLE

"INVADERS! I SAY THEE NAY!!!"

Holy crap, how awesome is this table?! Hear an invader in your home? Screw calling the police! Instead, convert your trusty side table into your SHIELD & CLUB and dive into battle! Defend your home for the safety of your family, your toys.... and FOR SPARTA!!!

(link)

GIJOE MOVIE WILL SUCK BALLS . . .

...big, hairy, sweaty, wrinkly, pimply, hippo balls.
WHY?

...Because it IS confirmed that fucking STEPHEN SOMMERS will direct the GIJOE live-action movie. One doesn't have to look far to see his shitty record thus far; MUMMY, MUMMY RETURNS and VAN HELSING. Yes, I include both Mummy movies. Sorry, but they sucked ass. And Van Helsing was downright criminal. After that anus-boil, he should have been BANNED from ever making another film again. And now, they've given him fucking GIJOE. What the hell? Why not someone who's, say, capable and with talent? Off the top of my head: Doug Limon (Bourne Identity), Ridley Scott (Black Hawk Down), Paul Greengrass (Bourne 2&3)... or even Louis Leterrier (Transporter 1&2) or Len Wiseman (Die Hard 4) would be better than Sommers. Shit, fucking Brett Ratner (Rush Hour) would be better than Sommers. I expect this flick to be along the lines of STREET FIGHTER. ARGH!!!!!

Here's a taste of what to expect:


God, this news makes me want to scorch the earth barren.
Paramount has just ass raped my inner child.
Thanks, dickheads.

(source)

AVP2 PIC AND TITLE

Here's a pic from the upcoming turd AVP2 which now has its 3rd or 4th title (I can't keep up), "ALIEN VS PREDATOR: REQUIEM."

On one hand, an Alien and Predator fight in the RAIN is cool.
On the other hand, they look like crappy costumes and latex prosthetics.

Either the Amalgamated guys are slipping and turning out crappy creature effects, or the director(s) do not know how to light and shoot them properly so they don't look like halloween costumes. I'm thinking a little from Column A, a little from Column B.

I also grow tired of Aliens getting their asses kicked by Predators.
Aliens are the superior species, people. *sigh*

And while cool, Predators are not THAT cool.
Predator fans remind me of Klingon fans....

Plus, is that a dwarf Alien or something? WTF? It's like half-scale!

Bah.
I wish FOX would stop dragging my Beloved through the shitter.
It really takes a slice out of Life Enjoyment for me.

YELLOW LIGHTSABERS

Back when I was a wee lad, the first original STAR WARS figures were the coolest things in Life. In some ways, they still are. The first LUKE figure and then BESPIN LUKE figure both sported YELLOW lightsabers. Some blah blah blah with Kenner and miscommunication with Lucas or something. Anyway, when the PREQUELS came out, we as fans had to swallow Mace Windu's PURPLE lightsaber (really, Lucas? really?). So my point of this post is, if Lucas had no problems with veering off course and having a PURLPLE lightsaber, why no YELLOW LIGHTSABER LUV for the fans? I would have been happy if YODA's lightsaber was yellow... although I don't think Yoda should have HAD a lightsaber, but that's another ranting post all-together. Hell man, how about that one scene with the Younglings... give THEM yellow sabers... it would have then tied in nicely, in a "Lucas Connects All" sort of way: Luke's figure had a Yellow lightsaber because in ANH and Empire, he was not yet a Jedi.... he was in early training. See, was that so hard?

Anyway, Yellow Lightsabers.
Overall, I think Lucas should have kept it to BLUE, GREEN and RED.
No taste the rainbow.

On a side rant... In the Prequels, I hated how all the Jedi had BLUE and GREEN lightsabers like it was the luck of the draw... I wanted the standard saber to be BLUE... with the Jedi MASTERS having GREEN; ie those who were powerful enough in the Force could forge a GREEN saber. That way when Luke show's up in RETURN OF THE JEDI.... sweeeeeet.

DRAGON WARS TRAILER

Man, if this had good story, actors, etc etc... it would rule!

PENNY ARCADE FUNNY

DK PICS

Some leaked pics from some unknown movie.
Click image to enlarge!

MOVIE REVIEW: SUPER BAD

It's funny.
Before I continue, I said it: It's funny.
However, I was disappointed.

The script felt diluted and a bit underdeveloped and lacks the HEART it needed to be a classic. I felt the film ran dangerously close to being "Not Another Teen Sex Movie" or "American Pie 9".... but thankfully it doesn't cross that thin line. But it does veer close....

McLovin and the 2 Cops are the best part of the movie and the only characters who have any real personality. Evan (Michael Cera) is so dull, I stopped caring about him early on... which is a shame, cause I loved him on the brilliant ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT. Seth (Jonah Hill) is at the forefront of the movie, but lacks the charisma necessary to carry the film. This is due to the writing more than Hill himself, I think... Ok, 50/50. Plus, his character is a selfish dick and almost unlikeable. Each character has their moment(s), but in a way it just brings more attention to those flat moments.

In the end, the movie was funny with some truly hilarious moments. But overall, it lacked and I was disappointed. Then again, I was going in with very high expectations, hoping for an instant classic. The trailer was unfortunately better than the film as a whole.

Rating: B-

----
In a relate note, here's your own McLOVIN Fake ID....
simply add your pic and print!
"I am McLovin!!!"

NEW ALIENS NOVELS

Yay! A new ALIENS novel from Dark Horse Comics is coming out! And as an added bonus, its written by STEVE PERRY, who wrote some of the earlier (and kickass) ALIENS novels. ALIENS: CRIMINAL ENTERPRISE comes out 01/16/08, which I will be buying. (synopsis)

I also found out that another ALIENS novel is coming out this october! It's called "ALIENS: STEEL EGG". How that got past me is beyond me. (link)

And here are some recommended S.Perry ALIENS novels:
THE "ALIENS SEQUEL" TRILOGY:
*EARTH HIVE
*NIGHTMARE ASYLUM
*THE FEMALE WAR

Originally a sequel to ALIENS (pre-Alien 3 Era), its set 10yrs after the events of ALIENS. Newt is 17 and in an Insane Asylum against her will. Hicks is a wounded, washed out soldier. A religious cult finds the Alien Homeworld and brings the aliens to Earth. Then it gets really cool from there! Unfortunately, the new printings have the names changed to better fit in with the post-Alien 3 continuity, so its no longer "Newt" and "Hicks", but 2 other characters with extremely similar histories as them. It still works, tho. You can also read the COMICS from which the novels are adapted; LINK.

Other kickass ALIENS novels:
*LABYRINTH
*GENOCIDE
*ALIEN HARVEST

LIST OF ALIENS NOVELS
Previous "New Aliens Novels" post
Previous "Hungarian Aliens Novels" post

JIMSMASH WILL RETURN . . .

BE BACK IN A FEW. . . JIMSMASH WILL BE INACTIVE
Thursday - Monday

Don't cry....
I will RETURN on TUESDAY 8/21
(until then, enjoy re-reading the archives!)

NIN YEAR ZERO..... THE SERIES

Whoa.... Trent Reznor's latest NINE INCH NAILS [concept] album, "YEAR ZERO", is set to be adapted into a television series. "Year Zero" is set in a totalitarian future America ruled by a right-wing religious dictatorship. The populace is plagued by mysterious visions, the country's drinking water might be drugged and global catastrophe is near. (link)

Hmmm, interesting news. Although bringing that concept to the screen was somewhat done recently with V FOR VENDETTA. I'll check this out if it ever goes all the way to being made. Although I've found his last 2 albums undesirable... which is something to be said because I didn't dig THE FRAGILE that much either. Regardless, I love Trent Reznor and am thankful he continues to create.

JIM'S FAVORITE NIN ALBUMS:
_PRETTY HATE MACHINE
_BROKEN
_DOWNWARD SPIRAL
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
* Who's digging the new buffed out Trent?
** Check out the orig comic V FOR VENDETTA; here or here.

JIMSMASH CASTING COUCH: BLACK PANTHER

Ever since I saw SERENITY, I've wanted CHIWETEL EJIOFOR to play the part of KING T'CHALLA aka THE BLACK PANTHER. In Serenity, Ejiofor proved he can play an intelligent, dignified character who can kick ass without breaking a sweat. I really do think he'd be perfect.

Fuck Wesley Snipes as T'Challa - are you kidding me?

No way. CHIWETEL EJIFOR all the way.

Make it so, Marvel.

Previous JimSmash Casting Couch:
* Nick Fury
* Deadpool
* Cobra Commander
Quasi-Casting Couch:
* Obi-Wan Kenobi - Age 45

CASTING RUMORS: THOR

Interesting... looks like KEVIN McKIDD may wield the mighty MJOLNIR and portray THOR in the live-action Marvel movie. McKidd was absolutely fantastic in HBO's ROME as LUCIUS VORENUS and I think he could pull it off. Sure, he doesn't have the phsyique of a Norse God, but he can act. So perhaps with some tricky photography (Lord of the Rings) and or prosthetics (300), he can pull the physical side off. Now, this is just a rumor and has yet to be confirmed.

and as a side note, McKidd kicked ass as Vorenus alongside TITUS PULLO played by RAY STEVENSON who was recently cast as FRANK CASTLE in the PUNISHER sequel. Sweet. VORENUS and POLLO are one of the most awesome duos EVER!

Check out some of their rad exploits together on ROME.
WARNING: Violence and gore.

SCI-FI TALENT AGENCY

Snagged from Jen at CasualSlack.

BILLY GRAHAM THE DEVIL ?

TIME magazine is taking some heat from conservatives over their latest cover which features BILLY GRAHAM. Many conservatives are outraged because they say the "M" behind his head looks like DEVIL HORNS which they accuse Time of creating intentionally. Time denies this and the battle ensues.

Too funny!

BETA RAY BILL DOES NOT HAVE LIPS

Check out this rad pic of BETA RAY BILL from the final issue of OMEGA FLIGHT, by SCOTT KOLINS! Pretty cool... except his head is jacked! What's up with the silly cartoony mouth, man?

I love BETA RAY BILL. For those who don't know, he's basically the alien Thor. WALT SIMONSON created him and caught lightning in a bottle with his design. There's really not much room for improvement or "artistic liberties." His head is super cool and often referred to as a "horse's head", which is wrong. If one was to go with the horse reference (sigh), I would allow "horse's skull".

S-K-U-L-L.
No lips.

So, free of charge, I am offering the below pic, which is REFERENCE to what he SHOULD look like. This reference pic is for any future Marvel artists who will be drawing BETA RAY BILL.

Beta Ray Bill does NOT HAVE LIPS!!!!!!
I SAY THEE NAY!!!!!!!

ROBO ELVIS LOVES YOU

Wow. Just....wow.
Forget those dancing coke cans and singing bubba bass gifts! Behold the KING ALIVE.... WowWee has made the creepiest thing you'll hopefully see this year, with the ELVIS ROBOT BUST. That's right, the singing robo-Elvis will sing for you... talk about his life with you....and even allow you to sing THROUGH him.

Click HERE to watch the ad.
Seriously, you MUST check it out.

Anyone else aroused, er, I mean creeped out?

AN OPEN LETTER TO MARVEL

Hey, Marvel!

How come there isn't an oversized hardcover edition collecting the infamous classic DARK PHOENIX SAGA? Are you waiting for the 30th anniversary in 2010? Bah! BAH I SAY!!

All fans agree it is THE X-Men story. When have fans EVER agreed on anything? 27 years later and you still haven't topped that storyline (which is another letter, btw) so why aren't you making this classic story available in HC form? You have other stories (many crappy, again, another letter) in hardcover.... Why no love?

Give me my UNCANNY X-MEN: DARK PHOENIX SAGA HC NOW!

Jeez.

Smashingly Yours,
JimSmash

P.S. -- You could even tack on Uncanny X-Men #141 & 142...
the DAYS OF FUTURE PAST, which followed right after Dark Phoenix! Sweet.

SOME HOLLYWOOD BULLSHIT

1) Some news about JURASSIC PARK 4 has come out.... the plot includes the government training dinosaurs to use/carry weapons on the battlefield. Wow. (link)
For the record, I CALLED IT.....ok, Bill Watterson called it.

2) The direct-to-video sequel LOST BOYS 2 will star original FROG BROTHERS and both COREYS. Because, you know, they were the strongest aspects of the kickass first movie. Sigh. Also, Keifer Sutherland's half-brother, Angus Sutherland, will be the villain. The plot is surfer town attacked by vampires. Joy. (link)

3) Yes, they are making a live-action VOLTRON movie. I assume the LION one, not the lame 900 different vehicles. Is this a part of growing up? Watching unimaginative, talentless schlubs rape your inner child? (link)

4) Stubbornly intent on making the worst GIJOE live-action movie (and destroying yet another sliver of Jimmy's soul), it looks like fucking STEPHEN "Van Helsing" SOMMERS is set to direct the upcoming abomination. Look for it on the $3 dvd spindle at your local gas station soon. (link)

5) They are remaking Bruce Lee's "ENTER THE DRAGON". Blapshemy. Burn heathens, burn. (link)

6) Tried to watch Sci-Fi's new FLASH GORDON tv show on friday. This was so fucking bad, I can't even post about it properly. God, it was fucking awful, amateurish and insulting. Sci-Fi needs to stick to AIRING sci-fi, not making their own... which is shitty. Seriously, was this some executives teenager's pet project? "Here's a cheap camcorder, son... go make me a Flash Gordon tv show!"

...and a dash of GOOD NEWS: Looks like New Line Cinema and Peter Jackson are trying to make friends a bit so Jackson can make THE HOBBIT. Thank god. I hope Jackson does it. It'd be a nice rounded Saga. No word on the supposed "news" that Sam Raimi was going to direct it.... maybe after Spiderman 3 came out, NLC reconsidered their director choice.... Emo Bilbo. Shudder. (link)
UPDATE: Sam Raimi directing, Peter Jackson producing???? (source)

UPDATE 2: Stephen Sommers will NOT be the director of the GIJoe movie... apparently he was asking for too much money.

DVD REVIEW: TMNT & PATHFINDER

I caught up on some movies this weekend via dvd.
Here are me thoughts:

1) TMNT: I'm a full time dork. Being such, my normal day geek is usually what others do to do "something real geeky!!" So sometimes I must venture further down the cool ladder in order to have that same feeling of "doing something really geeky". Follow me? Yesterday was such a case where I had some friends over, ordered a pizza and watched the new 3D animated TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES movie.

Going in, I expected the worse - the old cartoon and/or live-action movies quality. As a fan of the OLD original kickass underground black and white pre-cowabunga dude Turtles, I still have a fondness for them... or atleast the premise, visuals and potential. Overall, I really enjoyed this flick! It was a nice middle-ground for all fans. The animation and lighting is cool and pretty. The monster designs are cool as is the armor of the bad guys. I also liked that the story was a continuation of what's come before instead of another origin rehash. Raphael was cooler than usual. Leonardo has some cool character development. Michaelangeo is toned down a bit (which is good). And unfortunately, Donatello is turned into a lame-o eunuch (bah!!). Anyway, overall this was alot of fun and while not great, it's the best outing of the Turtles so far. If only they'd make one for us Adults... [singing] It would be awwwesommme!!
RATING: C+

Hmmm, I'm really regretting sharing the whole pizza party part.... ah, fuck it.

2) PATHFINDER: I went in with very low expectations. "Vikings fighting Native Americans", I'm in. That's all I wanted. The movie is really stupid and they failed to meet my own small expectation. Visually, its awesome; great stylized cinematography, fun atmospheric lighting and kickass Viking costumes. Some of the shots are gorgeous and look like bitchin' Frazetta paintings. Sadly, the praise stops there. The movie is so poorly written and executed.... I felt like I was watching a movie made by an uneducated 15yr old who's grown up (and never left) Beverly Hills 90210. The "Native Americans" felt more like LA hipsters pulled off the street (or out of a Starbucks) and thrown in front of the camera. God, you know, I'm not even going to continue with this review.... the movie just fucking sucked and it took me 3 days to get through it. If you MUST watch it, start the movie around say chapter 6 or so, put the movie on mute and crank some death metal. You'll thank me.

Vikings vs Native Americans.
How do you fuck that up?
Sadly, TMNT was more enjoyable.
RATING: D

MIKE WIERINGO PASSES AWAY

Oh my god... I just heard the tragic news that beloved comics penciller MIKE WIERINGO passed away yesterday from a heart attack! He was 44 yrs old. I've been a fan of 'Ringo's work since his Flash days... through his Spidey years... Robin.... Superman.... Tellos.... Fantastic Four.... he's done it all, and always awesome work. I had the pleasue of meeting him briefly at a con about a decade ago and he was the nicest, coolest guy. I'm in absolute shock at this news and feel almost like a friend of mine passed away. He will be missed, but not forgotten. I thank him for all his hard work and amazing contributions to Comic Books. My deepest condolences to his Family, Friends and fellow fans. The Comic Industry, and the World, has lost one of its best.

UPDATED with some cool Wieringo cover art:

MARYLAND PEEPS HELP ME OUT!

I love this COMMANDER BACARA bust! He was may favorite clone trooper from the Prequels. This bust is only available at this year's BALTIMORE COMIC CON, Sept 8&9.

Any JimSmash readers going? Seriously, I'm asking anyone who's going (or know someone who's going) to see if they can score this for me. Lemmie know and we can work something out!!!!

Help me, JimSmash Readers...
You're my only hope!!!!!!

Previous "Bacara is Cool" post.

DARK ANAKIN & MANDALORIANS

ANAKIN INTO VADER:

WHAT I WANTED TO SEE IN THE PREQUELS

Check out this geeky image I put together! (Yes, I'm that big of a dork). It's what I wanted to see in the prequels... what I've wanted to see since I was 5yrs old. Something like this........ *ahem*

Anakin, who is introduced to us as a young adult, is likeable and heroic. Extremely strong in the Force, he outshines most Jedi around him; clearly destined to be one of the greats. Immediately, the audience loves him. A hero's hero, who's name spreads across the galaxy during the Clone Wars, which is ravaging the Republic.

Unfortunately, due to the exhaustion of war and frustration with the Jedi Order, he is seduced by the power of the Dark Side and we are horrified to watch him pass the point of no return and become a servant to Evil.

Donning a familiar black leather wardrobe, sans machinery, Anakin leads platoons of MANDALORIANS, the elite captains of the clone army, to begin wiping out the Jedi. Hunting them down, killing all he locates, Anakin suffers injury after injury. The slow destruction of his body mirrors the slow destruction of his soul, soon he will be more machine than man.

As the Jedi body count grows, so does the Dark Side within Anakin. The galaxy spirals into chaos, further bloodshed and darkness. Eventually, Anakin becomes so powerful, so evil, that the diminished Jedi Order faces the threat of total annihilation; betrayed by their best. OBI-WAN rises to the challenge and faces his once-apprentice and friend.

The Final Battle comes down to Obi-Wan and Anakin on the lava planet Mustafar - the Fate of the galaxy at stake. Anakin, fueled with the power of the Dark Side, is stonger than Obi-Wan imagined. Using the force, Obi Wan searches for some remaining aspect of Anakin... but finds only hate and anger in the old friend standing before him. Twisted and evil, Anakin Skywalker is truly gone - murdered by the Sith before him, DARTH VADER. The ensuing battle is epic. In the end, Obi-Wan is able to break Vader's impressive (most impressive!) defenses and lands a killing blow to his head. He's succeeded where so many failed before him, but at a price to his own body; he'll never be the same Jedi again. Wounded and alone, he retreats to Tatooine to look over Anakin's child... just in case.

But alas, the new Emperor is able to keep Vader alive by dark life support machinery; a tragic prison, forever enslaving Anakin to his Sith Master. Anakin's hate grows ever stronger... With the Mandalorians* behind him, the destruction of the Jedi continues, with relentless vengeance. And this time, nothing is capable of stopping DARTH VADER: DARK LORD OF THE SITH.

Dark Anakin - "Year One" Vader - Darth Vader
(click image to enlarge!)

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*Only a few Mandalorians survive the Jedi Slaughter, including the mysterious BOBA FETT, who had a penchant for disintegrating Jedi. Also note that you NEVER see what the Mandalorians look like under their helmets... and the Clones are merely made up of various Mandalorian genetic stock - not just one guy.... who you never see anyway.

** This post is dedicated to Maker, who has the same vision and spent way too many hours geeking out on this shit with me!

KOTOBUKIYA CRIMSON GUARD

Kotobukiya, after releasing a few lame-o's, is back in full swing!! First they come back with the neato-torpedo McQuarrie Vader vs Luke and then the cool ALIEN. Now they have this kickass CRIMSON GUARD!!!! It's available for preorder for its November 2007 release. Why didn't I see this when I was putting together my ALIENS VS VADER pic?
Be right back.....

Previous Kotobukiya post

REJOICE FOR COMIC FANS ! !

God I love dorky fans!
The world would be so boring without them.
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(pic snagged from CasualSlack!)

THURSDAY TELL A FRIEND

TELL SOMEONE NEW ABOUT JIMSMASH!

HUEVO ALIEN

Check out this custom Alien
by tintorera

Heh, it looks like something from the mind of Sam Kieth!

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*thanks, Homie Bear!

JAPAN HAS SUPERIOR GAME SHOWS

SNAKE-EYES VARIANT

This is the VARIANT Snake-Eyes figure from the current super cool GIJOE Anniversary figures. What makes this a variant is the BLACK Timber, Snake-Eyes' trusty wolf friend (normally gray).

It's HERE for $30 if anyone would like to buy it for me.

Seriously...
I'd really appreciate it.
Anyone?
Anyone....?
I'll be your best friend...

JimSmash's 8th post

RAZORBA IS SUPER SEXXXY

Snagged this wonderful gem from SpaceJase's blog... behold the RAZORBA Back Razor! That's right, now YOU can shave your own back without having to ask others! Friends, Family and Strangers rejoice! Click HERE for more info!
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*great find, Jase!.... disgusting, but great!

VEGGIE ALIEN

Image from this year's Siggraph
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*thanks, Jason!

IN NEED OF SERIOUS THERAPY

I think its obvious that I'm a bonafide ALIEN fanatic, often times annoying those closest to me. I admit it. But its not always fun and games for me either. Case in point... FOX has put out nifty LENTICULAR cover dvds for some of their movies. They are the same dvds you already have, but the packaging has a lenticular image glued to the front, so when you turn the box, the image changes from one to another. The ALIEN one goes from closed egg to open egg, with a facehugger coming out. Yes indeedy, I found myself in line, holding the dvd and money eagerly waiting to hand over to the clerk.

Sigh, its a sickness. And it gets worse: Sure the neato lenticular cover is, well, neato... but its flawed! Not only would the Facehugger's tail NOT be visible the way it is, the tail used in the cover ISN'T even a Facehugger's!! It's an adult Alien warrior/drone's tail.
Research, people! Research!

Which brings me to a related RANT....

I am sick and tired of the FOX DVD Packaging people fucking up the ALIEN dvd packaging (US, UK and others) by using the WRONG Alien image for each movie. In addition to the lenticular inaccuracies, the new ALIEN 3 dvd has the Alien from the FIRST movie on its cover! And then the AVP Extended Cut dvd uses the Alien from the SECOND movie. The worst offense is with the new ALIENS dvds, where they use the Alien from ALIEN: RESURRECTION and then AVP. COME ON!!!! I know this sounds trivial, but it really pisses me off.
Until the therapy begins to work.... JIMSMASH!!!

COMICS I'M DIGGING...

Here are 10 comics (off the top of my head) that I'm currently digging.

Supergirl #20 just came out with a new creative team.
I normally don't buy Supergirl, but I enjoyed this.

GO FLASH GO!

This one nearly wizzed by me undetected today... the new improved FLASH GORDON: SAVIOUR OF THE UNIVERSE EDITION hit shelves today!! That's right, the 1980, Queen themed classic is back once again with a new purty transfer!... and a nice ALEX ROSS cover, ta-boot!

Check out the comparisons below!

*Click uber pic to enlarge and compare!*

COMPARISON GUIDE:
TOP PIC = Saviour of the Universe Edition (2007)
MIDDLE PIC = Silver Anniversary Edition (2005)
BOTTOM PIC = First Release Edition (1998)

I'm definitely picking this one up.... until they re-re-release another transfer in HD or BlueRay or whatever fucking new format they'll have out... hopefully they'll call it "THE BORE WORM EDITION". Universal, feel free to use that. No charge.
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*thanks, Melchy!

STAR TREK + NIN

*AUDIO A MUST*

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*thanks, HH!

MURDER CHARGES IN THE COMIC INDUSTRY

Holy crap.... MICHAEL R. GEORGE, creator of the famous PITTSBURGH COMIC CON has been arrested and charged for the 1990 murder of his then-wife BARBARA.

17 years ago Barbara was killed execution style in the couple's comic book store. She had stayed late after closing to prep the store for Michael's surprise birthday party.

Holy crap.
More as the news develops....

(article)

CAPTAIN PIKE

News came out today that not only is it rumored that CAPTAIN PIKE may make a cameo appearence in JJAbrams' reenvisioning STAR TREK movie, but he might be played by TOM CRUISE. Ahh, where to begin, where to begin...

Pretend I went off for 3 paragraphs...
...so in conclusion, Cruise is simply wrong for the part. I don't HATE it, but its just wrong. If its an OLDER Pike, I say cast RAY LIOTTA... if it's a YOUNGER Pike, I say cast JAMIE BAMBER (Apollo on the new Battlestar Galactica)... or not.
Pike was cool, I always liked him and wanted to see more episodes of his tenure on the Enterprise... hey Abrams, make Star Trek movies about THAT era!!!!... instead of fucking up Kirk history with this new train wreck you're grunting out. *sigh* Who am I kidding... they'd just fuck that up and tarnish the history of Pike. Bah!

For those who don't know of him, here's a quick history lesson: Star Trek's original unaired pilot episode, "THE CAGE", had the Enterprise being run by CAPTAIN CHRISTOPHER PIKE, played by the late JEFFREY HUNTER. The studio thought the fledgling show was "too intellectual" and temporarily canned it before it even aired. Later, they tried at it again, but replaced PIKE with action go-getter KIRK (played by Shatner, who brought the Stage to Screen) and the rest is history. Later, they grabbed that unaired pilot and spliced it up as flashbacks for Star Trek Episode "THE MENAGERIE" where Spock is being court martialed for attempting to return a really-fucked up paralyzed PIKE (played by Sean Kenney) back to TALOS IV (an act punishable by death in Starfleet). It's a cool episode, I recommend giving it a whirl; Pike is a very different captain than Kirk.

Additional factoid: It is stated that SPOCK served with PIKE for 10 years before Kirk took over the captain's chair.

RENT "THE MENAGERIE" TODAY!

RX CLUB POSTER

*Click Image to Enlarge*

BOMBING OF HIROSHIMA: 62 YEARS LATER

Today marks the 62nd annivesary of the U.S. dropping an atomic bomb on the city of Hiroshima, Japan. More than 250,000 people ultimately died from the blast - Hiroshima's estimated population at the time was 350,000.

August 9th is the 62nd anniversary of Nagaski's atomic bombing.

MOVIE REVIEW: BOURNE & DIE HARD

SUPER ACTION SUNDAY!!
We did a double-feature yesterday and saw THE BOURNE ULTIMATUM and DIE HARD 4! Here are me thoughts:

BOURNE: By the same director as Bourne 2, so waaay too much shaky cam and "in your face" close-ups. The action is great... I guess. It's kind of difficult to tell when you can't fucking see anything because of said shaky cam and extreme close-ups. The action is absolutely non-stop from beginning to end and its an awesome ride. However, the story is super weak. I wanted more story and revelations of Bourne's past; the secrets he's been trying to find for 3 movies. While there are some revelations, you could have easily put it at the end of Bourne 2, adding maybe 10 xtra minutes. So basically, Bourne Ultimatium is a 2-hour extended action ending to Bourne Supremacy. A hell of a fun ride, but empty on substance, character and originality. Regardless, I love this trilogy! I also realized that Jason Bourne is the bastard child of Snake-Eyes, Captain America, Batman, and Weapon X.

DIE HARD: Bruce Will has the character JOHN McCLANE down pat! And its so good to see McClane again - like seeing an old friend. The movie is lots of popcorn fun with some awesome action and nice camera work. The story is ok with highs and lows; Dr Evil attacks Washington DC and shows footage of the Capital blowing up, only to laugh and mock the fools who believed the footage to be real. McClane then has to save a young John Connor, who helps save the day several times with his amazing hacking abilities; "Easy money!". The McClane fight against the female asian Terminator is awesome and boy does Skynet know how to build them tough! Then Starscream shows up and blows up some bridges (which was eerie what with last week's tragedy in Minneapolis). Then the final reel of True Lies is spliced into Die Hard's and the movie plays itself out. Personally, I didn't think it really felt like a DIE HARD movie, but whatever, Willis' McClane keeps it attached to the series... it was still lots of fun and if they made a 5th one, I'd go see it.

Overall: Thumbs up for both - buy a large popcorn & soda!

JAKE BROWN VS GRAVITY

ESPN has been removing all clips from YouTube because they are douchebags. If this clip is no longer available, go to YouTube and try and find another clip - well worth the effort me thinks.
Fuck ESPN corporate whores.

INDY IV TEASER POSTER

Check out the new teaser poster for INDIANA JONES 4!

Geeks abound are freaking out at the number on the side of the box because "its the same number of the Ark crate at the end of Raiders!!".... well, sorry to burst your bubbles, but according to the Nerds, the Geeks are wrong. The number in Raiders is 9906753, while the poster number is 9906573. (nerd proof)

PIC: Left is from Raiders, Right is from Indy4 teaser poster.

So its either a different box entirely, or someone in marketing fucked up. Regardless, fans scare the shit out of me, sometimes. I'm just glad I'm not like that.

I'M DAVID BOWIE . . .

*AUDIO IS ESSENTIAL*

Watch HBO's FLIGHT OF THE CONCHORDS!

THANK YOU, ANONYMOUS

Whoever you are...?

I laughed my ass off last night!
(and I love you, too!)

ALIEN VS YOUNG VADER

Young Vader?
Click HERE for explanation and kickass previous post.
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So Comic Con didn't have the cool Kotobukiya McQuarrie Luke Vs Vader models I wantd.... for the price I wanted.... so when I got back home empty handed, I bought it online for $50 less. Score! Someone at the con also had the soon-to-be released (in US) Kotobukiya ALIEN from the 2-piece AVP2 set. Normally I don't buy crappy AVP garbage, but this one is kinda cool... plus, I had the vision of replacing the McQuarrie Luke with the Alien! The pic posted above is a crappy hastily assembled pic of what will soon be on Jimmy's shelf!

Star Wars and Aliens... coming together... its like peanut butter & chocolate. "Your Star Wars fell into my Alien! Your Alien fell into my Star Wars! YUM!!" If anyone knows someone at Dark Horse comics, tell em to contact me... Aye gots eye-dee-azz! Now if only Kotobukiya would make a similar model, but based on SAESEE TIIN from the Clone Wars, with the armor and rad helmet!

Hmmmmm, I DO have other Kotobukiya Star Wars models....

BAM!awesome.

NINJA CAT ! ! !

TERMINATOR SEX

Click HERE for more.

Post jokes, captions, etc in Comments!

OPTIMUS PRIME CAKE SUPREME

Wow, check out this awesome OPTIMUS PRIME cake! The luck birthday boy's wife had it made speical by FrenchConfectionsCakes and says, "The thing is the size of a toddler. It has brownie dirt complete with fondant grass and the body is made of cake and rice crispy treats." Nice!

It would look nice next to the previous Optimus Prime cake!

HELLBOY 2 COMIC CON POSTER

Apparently Comic Con had an exclusive HELLBOY 2 poster...
......I didn't see it, gah!

ALIENS(S) RECASTING

I had originally posted this under the "Michael Biehn Birthday" post yesterday, but feared it was lost in the excitement. So here it is by itself. So freaking neat!

Andrew over at BSMBOW made some rad finds that had me giddy. See below or click HERE to his kickass blog!

Seeing these pics it's quite hard to imagine Aliens without Michael Biehn as Hicks.

Hicks was originally played by James Remar, but Michael Biehn replaced him a few days after principal photography began, due to "artistic differences" between Remar and director James Cameron. However, Remar still appears in the finished film - but wearing the same armor, and shot from behind, it's impossible to tell the difference between the two actors.

and then ALIEN recasting.....

Jon Finch was originally cast as Kane but on the first day of shooting, he looked extremely ill. Medics were called and Jon Finch was immediately taken to hospital where it was discovered that he had an extreme case of diabetes. Ridley Scott knew that John Hurt was in town, so he approached him that night about playing Kane. John Hurt was on set the following day. It's strange seeing these photos, it's hard to imagine Alien and the famous chestburster scene without John Hurt, and also it makes you wonder how Finch's career might have gone in other directions had he been in Alien.

Awesome awesome find, Andrew! Thanks for letting me snag and post!