Saturday, March 31, 2007

ROCKET SHIP JIMSMASH

That's it. I give up. According to an MSNBC Poll, 48% of Americans reject the scientific theory of Evolution. One-third of college graduates say they accept the Biblical account of creation as FACT. 73% of Evangelical Protestants say they believe that God created humans in their present form within the last 10,000 years; 39 percent of non-Evangelical Protestants and 41 percent of Catholics agree with that view. WTF? Did a strange Stephen King Comet recently pass by the planet? I have a hard time believing we've fallen so far backwards.... but then again, I'm not surprised.

I am now selling tickets to the JimSmash Rocket Ship (prototype pictured above).
Destination: Somewhere else, Off-Planet.
Tickets are 1/2 OFF to card carrying JimSmashers!!!*
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*Jim reserves the right to turn away any ticket holder. A questionaire/essay test may be involved.
Question Examples:
- "Name 5 Essential JimSmash Movies"
- "Explain why Superman is relevant Today & why Superman Returns fell short"
- "Explain the cool dynamic between Kirk, Spock and Bones"
- "Why was Jango Fett an abomination to the Mandalorian Mythos?"
- "Explain the Mythology factor of Superman, Batman and The Hulk; give examples of symbolism"
- "Explain the Life Cycle of the ALIEN and why were Alien3, Alien: Resurrection and AVP abominations in relation to?"

COOL ETCHINGS FOR COMPUTER

HYPERKORE does cool laser etchings for side windows to your computer system.

Click here to see more!


*I may need to buy that ALIENS one.....

AMATEUR ALIENS STAGE PLAY


From David Wake's Stage Plays website:
"Here's a picture moments before I came off the stilts and broke my ankle during a performance of the finale of "ALIENS" for the Masquerade at the SF convention Intuition in 1998. That's my daughter Rachel as Newt running away from my interpretation of the Alien Queen. We won Best in Show, so worth six weeks in plaster really."

Awesome, David!

ALIEN TATTOO

Dig this ALIEN tattoo! Me knowing my ALIEN, I immediately recognized that the artwork was taken from the cover to Dark Horse Comic ALIENS: EARTH WAR #1, by John Bolton (albeit mirrored). Except they've added those lame cartoon "vampire" hands, which I just don't get. Why would someone do that? "Hey, I'd like this cool Alien design tattooed on my arm....oh, but can you also add these stupid cartoon hands to it?" I mean, atleast add some biomechanical texture to them to better integrate them into the Alien. The more I think about it, the more that pisses me off. Anyway, below is the comparison of the comic and tattoo. When it comes to ALIEN stuff, I know my shit, G.
The other covers in the 4-issues series by Bolton weren't as strong in my opinion, and the comic itself was lacking (Bolton did not do the interior artwork). I really like Bolton's cover to #1. It incorporates the BODY of Giger's original design and the HEAD of James Cameron's version. The proportions, angles and detail work is pretty close to accurate; just the right amount of his own artistic liberties added. Issue 2 was a good idea, but the proportions are all wrong and the head looks weird and too streamlined in its curves. Don't ge me started on Issues 3 and 4 - they had the "new aliens" in them. Bah! I do not acknowledge that shit. Anyway, I've always thought the cover to Issue 1 was one of the best depictions of the Alien. And when it comes to anything ALIEN, My opinion is absolute. Always know that .

ANOTHER SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE

That skeezeball dude who created "GIRLS GONE WILD", yeah you know the guy - he's been in the news the past few years on several cases of alleged rape, druggings and sex with minors.... well he's about to unleash a new chain of restaurants based on his video series. The first two will be in "spring-break capitals" of Cabo San Lucas and Cancun in Mexico. I hear the wings are good, tho.

Friday, March 30, 2007

SUPERMAN II - ALTERNATE ENDING

"Hmmmmm, how do I deal with Lois knowing my secret? Defy physics (and fans' Suspension of Disbelief) by turning back Time via spinning the planet backwards....again? Give her my Kryptonian Kiss of Memory Loss which doesn't even exist to begin with? Wait, I know!......."

GUESS WHO

Can you guess who this guy is?Click HERE to find out!

HARRY POTTER 5 PICS

More pics HERE!

JESUS GOES STRAIGHT TO YOUR HIPS

Jesus controversy time again! A planned Holy Week exhibition of a nude, anatomically correct sculpture of Jesus has some Catholics, including Cardinal Edward Egan, up in a tizzy. Oh, and its made out of 200 pounds of milk chocolate. The "My Sweet Lord" display was shut down and the gallery's creative director resigned. The Cardinal described it as "a sickening display" while Bill Donohue, head of the watchdog Catholic League, said it was "one of the worst assaults on Christian sensibilities ever." EVER, people. EV-ER. Personally, I think lil chocolate Jesus candies would be a good way to take back Easter from that godless heathen bunny.
RELATED STORY

DAVID LYNCH ON PRODUCT PLACEMENT

20-SIDED FUZZY DICE

For the special D&D NERD in your life!
Buy some HERE!
Roll a 20 for free shipping!

And a related clip (audio ESSENTIAL):
LIGHTNING BOLT!!!!
LIGHTNING BOLT!!!!

BIONIC SHOWDOWN

Hey, anyone remember the "SIX MILLION DOLLAR MAN" and "BIONIC WOMAN" Re-Teamup in 1989's made-for-tv movie "BIONIC SHOWDOWN?" It involved a new Bionic teenager assistant (the next gen of bionics) and a villainous cyborg bent on world domination. I remember the new teen had a different "bionic speed effect" - instead of the slow mo with cool audio, she ran in spedup motion (er, I think) and had trippy colored tracers. So, anyone remember seeing this? Well today I discovered that young "Bionic Teen" was non other than SANDRA BULLOCK. Weird.

MAD WAR ON BUSH

Press Release:
The Usual Gang of Idiots strikes again as DC Comics rush solicits THE MAD WAR ON BUSH TP, a new book scheduled for June instore featuring an introduction by comedian Jimmy Kimmel.

In a tribute befitting to the presidency of George W. Bush, MAD Magazine presents THE MAD WAR ON BUSH, a hard-hitting satiric collection of articles on George W. Bush - the worst President since, well . . . Clinton. Included in this handsome tome: The Bush Family Circus, The Iraqi War Chess Set, The George W. Bush Do-It-Your Press Conferences and other cheap shots too numerous to count. Plus, two removable Classic MAD Posters.

Have a good laugh as you savor the final days of a stirring presidency. Enjoy this book . . . and try not to worry about the government watch list you'll be put on for ordering it.

THE MAD WAR ON BUSH is scheduled to arrive in stores on June 13. It is an 8" x 10" collected edition with a cover price of $9.99 U.S.

Thursday, March 29, 2007

MAKER, THEY STOLE OUR IDEA

The Collective Consciousness is real and its a fucking thief.
ARGH!!!!
----
(hahahaha)

SAMURAI SWORD ACTION

This post is dedicated to JimSmasher SHANE.

SAMURAI SWORD CUTTING THROUGH EGG:


THROUGH PLASTIC BOTTLE:


THROUGH TOMATO:


Cool, but I'm a bit disappointed in the objects they are using... well, the egg is cool. But how about something more "head like", like a melon or the head of a pedophile. Atleast a mannequin head, maybe with vampire fangs... Pizazz it up. Ooooh! Or Duke from GIJOE - that way it'd look like STORMSHADOW cutting loose. No one ever consults me with these things. The World would be a cooler place if I had more of a say in things, ITellYouWhat.

DOUCHEBAGS OF THE DAY: CIRCUIT CITY

From MSNBC:
When U.S. manufacturers want to cut labor costs they often close up shop and head for a Third World country to find cheap labor. But when retailers want to cut costs they don’t have that option because they need stores in American towns if they want to sell to Americans.

Circuit City has found a unique way around this conundrum. On Wednesday officials at the struggling electronics retailer announced they would fire 3,400 of their highest-paid clerks and replace them with workers who will take less money, essentially hoping to find their own bargain-basement work force right here in the good old USA.

It’s all part of a plan to save money and cuts costs for the big-box chain, which also reduced sales growth expectations this week. By shutting stores, outsourcing its IT department and cutting 9 percent of its 40,000 store employees, the company hopes to save $110 million in its current fiscal year and $140 million next year, says Circuit City spokesman Jim Babb. More.

LUNCH BOX

This is an encounter I just had on my lunch break.
It involved a homeless guy.
He looked like the pic above.
----
HOMELESS GUY: Hey, man... do you have 18-cents?

ME: Sorry, man... I don't have any change or cash on me today. (truthfully)

HOMELESS GUY: ...........how about a blowjobbb?

ME: [to coworker] er, is he asking me for a blowjob, or asking to give one?

COWORKER: For 18-cents, its a bargain either way!

BRIT DOLL

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*thanks, Kent!

JEALOUS, LUCAS ?

Cruise over to Andrew's kickass "Be Still My Blog of War"
and check out these two great posts....
(he has other great ones, too, btw)
STAR WARS REMAKE, circa 1977!!
Looks like its shot-for-shot!!!
http://bsmbow.blogspot.com/2007/03/star-wars-remake.html
---
THE PHANTOM EMPIRE, a fantastic low-budget gem of possible brilliance
http://bsmbow.blogspot.com/2007/03/phantom-empire-1986.html

POWER FROM AN ELEPHANT'S ASS

Get your power from an Elephant's ass! Adrien Gardere is selling custom vinyl wall-outlet decals for your outlets. It doesn't appear he has a GOP ass to plug into (get it, "elephant".....sigh), but there are Pigs, Cows and more. You can buy em here, they run 33 Euros, or about $44 U.S. Don't ask what picture Michael Jackson requested to be made.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

ATTACK OF THE 50-FT PEDOPHILE

Vegas is about to get weirder as Michael Jackson, set for another comeback after another child sex lawsuit, is in discussions of having a 50-foot ROBOTIC Replica of himself created, which would roam the Las Vegas desert... firing laser beams. Also, it would be placed in the area of the desert so as you fly into Vegas, this would be the first thing you see. I'm actually speechless....

STAR WARS STAMPS

Here's a look at the STAR WARS Stamps coming out!
Ya know I gotta get these.Its somehow fitting that the day the SW stamps become available
is also the day the cost of stamps go up to 41-cents.
---
And here's a pic of an R2-D2 Mailbox.
This one's in Hollywood.

KWIK-E-MARTS COMING SOON

Awesome! 7-11 is in deals with FOX to temporarily change 11 of its stores into KWIK-E-MARTS to help promote the upcoming SIMPSONS movie!! Inside, we'll be able to buy KrustyO's cereal, Buzz Cola and iced Squishees!!! No word yet which 7-11's will do it. Hopefully L.A. will get one!

AWESOME GUITAR HERO TEE

You can buy one HERE.

McCAIN HACKED

JOHN McCAIN's MySpace page was hacked, check it out:
It was hacked by someone claiming McCain's people took his template, even pulling images from his server, driving his bandwidth up. You can read more about what and why HERE. Pretty funny since politicians are now making MySpace ads to "get in touch with the young people today." Well, young people today know how to hack!

300 - PG VERSION


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*thanks, Dylan!

DEATHLY HALLOWS COVERS

Behold the cover to the FINAL book:

and, thanks to ANDREW, here are the 2 UK versions!

TOP 10 TANGO & CASH

I was about to post "JIM'S TOP 10 STALLONE MOVIES" when I saw over at the Movie Blog they had stolen my idea from me brain and posted their "TOP 10 KURT RUSSELL MOVIES" list. Whatever, man!

So, in honor of TANGO & CASH (come on sequel!!!), I give you "JIM'S TOP 10 STALLONE & KURT RUSSELL MOVIES"....... (or would that be top 20?)

STALLONE:
10) TANGO & CASH
9) COBRA
8) NIGHTHAWKS (beard factor alone)
7) ROCKY III
6) ROCKY IV
5) RAMBO: FIRST BLOOD PT II
4) COPLAND
3) ROCKY II
2) FIRST BLOOD
1) ROCKY

KURT RUSSELL:
10) TANGO & CASH
9) *Any & All DISNEY movies (esp his early years)
8) 3000 MILES TO GRACELAND (shut up!)
7) STARGATE
6) BACKDRAFT
5) GRINDHOUSE (presumed)
4) ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK
3) OVERBOARD
2) BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA
1) THE THING

SUPERGIRL, CYLONS & LAME TANGENTS

The rumors of a SUPERGIRL movie are still flying around. Personally, I think is a horrible idea. Maybe its because the comic has always sucked (and still does) or the 80s movie still leaves scars (like much of the 80s), or the fact that 99% of the time Hollywood fails to "get it right"........ whichever way, a Supergirl movie sounds awful to me. If anything, make a WB TV show ala SMALLVILLE - something young girls can watch, enjoy and have a positive role model......

Ack! What am I saying?!! Of course, on TV, she'd be all skinny and slutty and "spunky" cause "that's hot" (sigh), so nevermind....Man, no one ever does good Comic adaptations. Wait, what am I thinking, the now-cancelled JUSTICE LEAGUE UNLIMITED cartoon did a pretty good job of Supegirl and comics!. Rent SEASON 2 today, because it may very well be the current Winner of the "Coolest shit on the planet" contest (ALIENS excluded from contest, of course).

Back on topic, Jim! (you know I don't like your long posts)

So there's a huge RUMOR (and its just that; an INTERNET rumor) that TRICIA HELFER's name is being thrown around to don the cape and boots. Tricial Helfer.... the main blonde Cylon in Battlestar Galactica. Yeah, "Number Six", that's her. (Note the use of hot red in text..... cause, you know... the red dress. I put thought into this shit).

The thought of a possible Tricia Helfer Supergirl (albeit probably not true) resulted in Three responses from me. Wanna know what they are?:

Number 1) I love Tricia Helfer. She pretty much carries Battlestar Galactica and is surprisingly a good actress. Seriously. Yes, she's very "hot" (she's on my short "list"), and as a guy, I would not hate seeing her in a Supergirl costume. However, she's wrong the for the part. For one, she's now 33 (which is still a hip age!!!!!!!!) whereas Supergirl is usually portrayed in her mid-late teens, but primarily portrayed as a teenager. So they would need someone no older than say 20 to play the role. (again, notice I spelled out #1.... she's a Cylon.... again, THOUGHT.)

---Also, Supergirl is Superman's younger cousin, so she's sort of the kid-sister role. Does your kid sister look like Tricia Helfer? If so, give me her number ooh bad joke. Sure, she's cute, but she's like your best friend's sweet and really cool kid sister you grow up with. Then as you get older, suddenly... you get the picture, cause that started to sound like the beginning of a very embarassing rant. (Or am I thinking of Mary Marvel? Nah, I stand by the above.) Superman's cousin, right? - she's wholesome and innocent. Which interestingly enough, leads us to....

2) I have no faith in "Hollywood" handling the character in a manner outside of gratuitous T&A and boys' sexual fantasies. Like I said, Supergirl is essentially Superman's "kid sister" and thereby to a degree YOUR kid sister. She's sweet, innocent and cute, and worthy of wearing that "S" symbol for everything it stands for. She is not supposed to be the "hot chick" or "bad girl". Sure, the costume is a bit revealing but that's largely due to creators sexifying her look (and attitude)- look no further than her current costume in the comics; super tiny skirt, exposed belly top, that "Christina Aguilera look". Unfortunately, there's a current trend of making all female superheros into "strippers wearing comic fetish costumes", like those "sexy halloween costumes" you see. Which is saying something when comics have for the most part been pretty ridiculous with their Female superheroes. There's a difference between "attractive sexy" and "cheap sexy" and I wish DC (and Marvel) would understand that, because it changes the character, in this case a negative change (yes, I know I'm a bit old fashioned. So?). Just because some people get off on their fetishized superhero fetishes, does not mean the characters should CHANGE to fit that fantasy. Supergirl is supposed to be your kid sister who's trying to find her place in the world all the while being a hero to Humanity- not bending over so you can squeeeeze one off. That's just not HER. If DC Comics can't even handle the character properly, what hope do we have that Hollywood would? So yeah, I just don't see "Them" doing a Supergirl movie that does the character (and fans) justice.

Sorry, that ran longer than I wanted. But there ya go, and kudos if you're still here (NERD!!).

Oh yeah, and the third response to that Tricial Helfer rumor news (back waaaay up top)....

3) Sorry, but the gimic works and I really really really want to see Tricia Helfer in a Supergirl costume. Not in a movie. Just, ya know - standing there in the costume. Fin.
Crap. It sells.

DOOooo.... NAWwWT..... JUDDGGE.... MEEEEEEeeee!!!!! *
*(Gandalf the Grey's "You-Shall-Not-Pass!" voice)

("NERD!!!", if you chuckled or laughed!!!)

(what-ever, if you didn't --- it was funny... kind of. Bah!)

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

RANDOM FIND: FEMALE PREDATOR

Found this the other day - its a custom made model of a FEMALE Predator. I'm not quite sure what to think. I guess I feel why bother? Why not make the Predator an ASEXUAL creature? While this may look cool on its own, I think it opens up too many bad possiblities. And the "sexy" approach is trite and creepy. Nice job on the actual sculpt and paint, tho.

What do you all think?

STAR WARS CELEBRATION IV POSTER

Here's the poster for this year's
STAR WARS CELEBRATION IV
May 24-28th / Los Angeles.
Click HERE for more info.

GRINDHOUSE: JAR OF BALLS


By Guest Writer, TED:

"Went to the world premiere of Grindhouse last night, definitely one of the coolest film going experiences so far this year. The event was held at the Orpheum Theater in downtown LA, which is a classic venue and apparently holds great significance for Quentin Tarantino. The entire cast was there...Rose McGowan, Michael Biehn, Danny Trejo, Kobe Bryant (!), Kurt Russell, Eva Mendes, Sidney Poitier, Rob Zombie, Eli Roth...the lobby was quite a sce To kick things off, Bob and Harvey Weinstein took the stage for a brief intro. Bob proceeds to tell of the "parting of the ways" that took place between the brothers and Disney, and that it was somewhat like that scene in Jerry Maguire...they said "who's with us?", and were apparently met with silence except for Tarantino and Rodriguez, who both went with them. Harvey mentioned that after some 15 years of making films together, they are behind these directors 100%, and it certainly showed last night.

Next, Tarantino and Rodriguez hit the stage to huge applause and proceeded to work the crowd into a frenzy. They want Grindhouse to be an event, and as such have enlisted the help of several of their friends to provide the trailers that run before Planet Terror, and then again between Planet Terror and Death Proof. It will be interesting to see if any theaters stick with this premise, rather than running a bunch of commercials first (which QT was quick to point out that he HATED). The trailers were cool overall, with the standout being the Danny Trejo pic "Machete". That film needs to get made!!

Now on to the films. Both Planet Terror and Death Proof deliver in spades, and in this case I'll avoid too many details since anyone who's got Grindhouse on their radar is already a fan of these types of films, and giving away too many details may detract somewhat from the experience. The crowd was pretty much going nuts through the entire night, which is definitely unusual for a premiere. If you like zombies, muscle cars, limb-shredding mayhem, boobs and revenge you will enjoy these films. Well, here's one detail: one of the characters carries around a jar of balls. Yes, you read that correctly. The level of gore is truly operatic, while maintaining a nice balance of dark humor. And, as expected, Death Proof has the classic Tarantino dialogue that we've come to expect.

All in all, a great night and mad props to the Weinsteins for getting behind Grindhouse!"
--TED.
-----------------------------------------------------------
*AWESOME! I can't wait! Thanks, Ted!!

GLEN & GARY & GLEN & ROSS


--------------------------------
*thanks, Dylan!

TUESDAY TELL A FRIEND

JIMSMASH!
TELL A FRIEND ABOUT IT TODAY!

PANDA PORN

Chuang Chuang the panda has been spending his days in front of a big-screen television watching panda porn.

Authorities at the Chiang Mai Zoo in northern Thailand hope the images will encourage him to mate with his partner, Lin Hui, and serve as an instructional lesson in how to do it right.

So far, it’s been a tough sell, the zoo’s chief veterinarian said Tuesday. “Chuang Chuang seems indifferent to the videos; he has no reaction to what he’s seeing on TV. But we’re continuing to show him videos and hoping they will leave an impression.”

Maybe they're not showing the right porn. We all have our fetishes, right? Maybe simple missionary panda porn isn't enough. They should try mixing up the positions abit. Try putting the panda pornstars in outfits and give them some toys. Maybe Chuang Chuang likes freaky shit? Maybe he prefers Panda Anal or Panda Watersports. Or maybe he's simply gay and not into girl pandas? I dunno, I'm not a Panda expert. I'm just a porn expert; Panda Porn Expert.

Hmmm, this mark's the 3rd animal sex joke in the same week....

SONG OF THE SOUTH

To coincide with Disney's upcoming "THE FROG PRINCESS" which will debut their first African-American princess, Disney is reportedly highly considering rereleasing their classic, and controversal, "SONG OF THE SOUTH". Kidding aside, I find this very interesting. I know most of the reasons for all the controversy, but I haven't seen the film in so many years I barely remember it... atleast not enough for me to make a judgement call outside of the "angry hype".

On one hand I think people need to chill out a bit.

On the other hand, I'd be upset if a children's movie was released with highly offensive asian material, like a character named "slant-eye chink", or "long duk dong"... oh wait.....

It, and rascism, IS a part of our (U.S.) past and pretending it never happened is not the answer - ya gotta know your history or you're doomed to repeat it, yadda yadda yadda.

On a side note, to pretend rascism no longer exist in America Today is foolish and dangerous as well. What's next of our past? No movies that involve witch hunts, horrible child labor, fight against women's right to vote, civil rights? What, we can't have movies that involve us dropping 2 atomic bombs on 2 major cities filled with innocent men, women & children civilians? Please. This is America and we are perfect without a single tarnish on our past. "America" is latin for "Utopia". Well, that's what FOX News says atleast.

Anyway, this is a part of Disney's past. If its so horrible, then why do they still play the lead song "Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah" at Splash Mountain? Which is it? - Erase it from existance or keep it as part of your history? You can't cherry pick history for your own agenda (even though that's what "history" is, really). I think if this was a NEW film, then yeah, I'd be upset and outraged by it.

Its a touchy subject with merits on both sides, I think. I don't have the answer, but I find it interesting and await the media circus and angry ranters from both sides. The super liberals will say its offensive and scream until their heads turn blue. The super conservatives will say get over it, stop being so sensitive and scream until their heads turn blue. As with most things in life, its not black or white (oooooh, poor choice of words for example)... its shades of gray.

I say fuck it and release it. This isn't just a piece of Disney's Past - its a part of OUR Past as well. Put a disclaimer at the beginning acknowledging the rascist elements of the film and our country's past. Bring attention to it, why it was wrong, how we've changed since and how we as a society still have more work to do in the Civil Rights movement (and remember, "civil rights" is not a black and white issue... it goes beyond race, beyond sex, beyond religion... its everything and everyone... its ALL of our Civil Rights). I say use this release to address the issue. Use it to educate both adults and children. Half my family is from the deep south and as a child, this movie presented a wonderful opportunity for my parents to open a dialogue with me about slavery and rascism. I was able to learn through means outside of angry arguments. Unfortunately you cannot shelter people from reality, pretend all is right in the world and hope the world will somehow form to your fantasy. To simply burying the past out of existence is not the answer and is extremely dangerous. Remember: "Never forget" - I'm sure you've seen the bumper stickers.

I also wish I had more time to better put down my thoughts on this matter. But hey, this is JimSmash, not CNN.
(source)
UDPATE: Sorry, the function for comments was accidently deactivated. Flood away!!

TRANSFORMERS ONE-SHEETS

Check out the teaser posters!

Monday, March 26, 2007

MARSHALL ROGERS DIED

The COMICS WORLD has lost another one of its Greats....
MARSHALL ROGERS
died this past weekend (cause of death unknown at this time) - he was 57. Rogers is best known for his innovative take on BATMAN in the 70s. His style of the Dark Knight was considered "The Definitive Batman" for years - a dark, brooding hero who stayed to the shadows and flowed with a natural grace. An architect by training, Rogers' work always stood out for its attention to detail, from the cityscapes of Gotham and articulated (and realistic) muscles of the heroes, to the different techniques he would employ, from bold blacks and zipatone to a wide array of others.

Click HERE for more at Newsarama.
Click HERE to see some of his gorgeous comic book COVERS!!!

Thank you for your many amazing contributions to Comics, Rogers! Your work is still inspiring and being emulating today! You will be missed.

NINJA WARRIOR: MAKOTO NAGANO

Makoto Nagano is a 34 yr old fisherman. Recently he succeeded to complete the last phase of the Japanese game show: NINJA WARRIOR, beating out nearly 500 other people!!!

As last year's winner of NINJA WARRIOR, I was supposed to personally give him the award at the ceremony. Unfortunately, my duties at work here Stateside hindered my plans to travel to Japan. Nonetheless, I wanted to share with you his awesome achievements. Congratulations, Nagano-San!!!!

MANIMALS AMONG US

It's not beastiality if the sheep is 15% Human.

Scientists have created the world's first human-sheep chimera - which has the body of a sheep and half-human organs.

The sheep have 15 per cent human cells and 85 per cent animal cells - and their evolution brings the prospect of animal organs being transplanted into humans one step closer. It also brings the prospect of The Island of Dr Moreau being a reality that much closer.

Personally, I can't wait to have wings, gills and retractable claws. What new physical features do YOU want to defy God?

More here in the article.
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*Pic is from NOFX's albume "Heavy Petting Zoo"

KISS PINBALL AT WOO'S: 04/25/07

JIM'S ALL-TIME SCORE THUS FAR:
- 3 8 0 , 1 7 0 -
(just short of the current reigning high score: 404,000)

RAMBO IV PICS

These are the first images I've seen of the upcoming RAMBO IV (now called "JOHN RAMBO" ala "ROCKY BALBOA").

They make me want to weep.

Here's a quick recap of the RAMBO Series:

FIRST BLOOD: Great drama with some action that deals with post-Vietnam America. This is before Stallone became STALLONE the over-the-top action blockbuster guy. This is really a great movie (one of my favorites) which still holds today. RENT IT TODAY!!!

RAMBO: FIRST BLOOD PT II: Total shift from the first one. This one is a great action flick, but with no heart or soul. John Rambo also lost about half of his IQ since the first one. Don't get me wrong, I love this movie, but I don't think of it as the same "world" as "First Blood". Its basically a big silly over-the-top comic book. This is Sly's COMMANDO. Pure popcorn kickassery. Comic fans, look at it as an U.S.AGENT movie!

RAMBO III: Ugh. A few moments here and there, but overall a travesty of the character.

RAMBO IV: From what I've read and seen, I'd rather watch RAMBO III again instead.

INTERNET ANNOYANCES

Lately, while using the Internet, THREE things have been scraping on my exposed nerves.....

1) DANCING SILHOUETTE CHODES. Those fucking goddamn dancing silhouettes. You know the ones. I want to grab those people by the neck and throttle until I hear a "pop!".

2) DUMB REALITY BULLSHIT. You know those lame "Reality YouTube" dumb shit clips used in hopes to make my stupid mind think its cool and then buy whatever shit they're selling. Perfect example, the current video clip of the girl dancing at her desk, then turning around in embarrassing shock that her coworker is there recording her. It's a stupid video, but it's "Real". What's this ad for? A MORTGAGE something... I dunno, I didn't read the whole thing because the ad annoyed me so much, I stopped reading the info on principle.

3) NEW POP-UP ADS. Pop-up Ads used to be super fucking annoying. OK, they still are, but now we have things like "pop-up blocker" and such. Unfortunately a new mutant of annoyance has emerged. These new Pop-Up Ads appear imbedded IN the page you're looking at. For me its usually ads for movies, world news and goat porn, because those are the sites I frequently visit. The killer is (and maybe this is a LINUX issue) the fucking ads pop up and STAY. I can't get rid of em! So instead of reading some fantastic interesting thing to potentially post about, I'm staring at an annoying ad covering the article... or even the LIST of articles to read. You JimSmashers are the true victims here.

oh, and with me, the advertising has backfired: I'm so annoyed by that stupid "REIGN OVER ME" movie ad, I've decided I will never see it on principle.

JETPACKS RANT

I've come to accept the disappointing reality that in the year 2007 we do not have FLYING CARS. Its fucking BULLSHIT because we were PROMISED that our future would have them. Anyway, I accept the reality. I also accept the fact we do not have lazer and/or ray guns. Again, another broken promise. I'm ok with these. Really, I am (its actually an ongoing day-by-day thing). However, I am NOT ok with one simple fact that is utter bullshit: NO PERSONAL JETPACKS. What the fuck, man?!! As a Society and Civilization, we should be ashamed of ourselves. Its the 21st Century, man! I should be able to wake up in the morning, slap my kickass looking JETPACK on, kiss my wife good-bye and then fly to work... possibly thwarting a crime in progess on the way in.

There is hope for the next generation as much smarter people than me are now beginning the process of making personal jetpacks for themselves... which could then lead to mass market production. These people are usually Tekkies with no lives, but that's ok (not everyone can be a cool guy with a blog......er.....). So hopefully, I'll be able to watch my kids or grandkids fly around on their sweet Jetpacks. Heck, Grandpa Jimmy just may strap one on and go out like a frickin' champ... yes, Thor Helmet and Hammer will be on my person... maybe even a lightsaber.

Shit, why don't we have LIGHTSABERS?!!