Tuesday, March 27, 2007

PANDA PORN

Chuang Chuang the panda has been spending his days in front of a big-screen television watching panda porn.

Authorities at the Chiang Mai Zoo in northern Thailand hope the images will encourage him to mate with his partner, Lin Hui, and serve as an instructional lesson in how to do it right.

So far, it’s been a tough sell, the zoo’s chief veterinarian said Tuesday. “Chuang Chuang seems indifferent to the videos; he has no reaction to what he’s seeing on TV. But we’re continuing to show him videos and hoping they will leave an impression.”

Maybe they're not showing the right porn. We all have our fetishes, right? Maybe simple missionary panda porn isn't enough. They should try mixing up the positions abit. Try putting the panda pornstars in outfits and give them some toys. Maybe Chuang Chuang likes freaky shit? Maybe he prefers Panda Anal or Panda Watersports. Or maybe he's simply gay and not into girl pandas? I dunno, I'm not a Panda expert. I'm just a porn expert; Panda Porn Expert.

Hmmm, this mark's the 3rd animal sex joke in the same week....

3 comments:

Andrew Glazebrook said...

I prefer Polar Porn !!

Jim said...

is it because global warming are turning all the polar bears into hermaphrodites?! awesome! Double your pleasure! Why didn't I think of that?!!!!

t-rex said...

C'mon, television?!? They need two zoologists to get out there in panda suits and re-inact 2 panda's getting it on!