Fear not, it should go quickly and painlessly."All we need is a little energon... and alot of luck."
(should be up and running by Jan 1)
(should be up and running by Jan 1)
Monday, December 31, 2007
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
BEST WISHES TO YOU ALL ! ! !
MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE!!!! and HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!--
JimSmash will be INACTIVE
Dec 20-Dec30.
Check back Dec 31... er, or JAN 2, 2008!
(I may post while on vacation, too)
Dec 20-Dec30.
Check back Dec 31... er, or JAN 2, 2008!
(I may post while on vacation, too)
SANTASM
Tom Kuntz and Matt Dilmore's infamous holiday short film!
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
*AUDIO ESSENTIAL*
*thanks, Mr Legs..... er, I guess.
SCARLETT & STORM SHADOW
2 more GIJOE movie casting announcements today. SCARLETT will be played by RACHEL NICHOLS and STORM SHADOW will be played by Korean actor BYUNG-HUN LEE. I've never seen any of their previous work, so I don't know if they have the acting chops to pull it off.However, I would like to point out that Hollywood seems against casting Japanese actors to portray JAPANESE characters. Storm Shadow, Thomas S. Arashikage, is Japanese. Its like with MEMOIRS OF A GEISHA, where most of the actors were Chinese. Is there really that much of a shortage of good Japanese talent out there? Maybe Storm Shadow will be Korean... but that makes less sense since "Arashikage" and "Ninja" are Japanese. Sorry, but Ninjas aren't "an Asian thang"... its a Japanese thing.
But if Hollywood has taught us anything, its we "orientals" all look alike.
Wait, what was I posting on again? Oh yeah, GIJOE....
so with that said, based on visuals alone, I don't hate these choices. Rachel is apparently 5'10" so she'll have the physical presence and the beauty (she was Yahoo's Model of the Month in Sept 2000). Can she act? Dunno. She's in CHARLIE WILSON's WAR, so if anyone sees that, let us know how she is! Lee is apparently very popular right now in both Korea and Japan for his recent role in the Korean drama WINTER SONATA (anyone seen?). He also has the right slant in his eyes that I want to see with Storm Shadow. (Note: I am half-Japanese. That was a joke.)
So now we have casting for Baroness, Snake-Eyes , Scarlett and Storm Shadow. Come on GARY OLDMAN for COBRA COMMANDER!!!!
*Previous GIJOE movie post: GIJOE Movie Will Suck(source)
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
HANCOCK & MAJOR BUMMER
Here's the trailer for Will Smith's upcoming HANCOCK where he plays a cynical, lazy, uncaring, reluctant super "hero". Looks fun, however I liked it much better when I first saw it a decade ago with the short-lived DC comic MAJOR BUMMER.
MAJOR BUMMER was fucking hilarious! Bascially too buffoon alien students (who are hilarious themselves) are doing their thesis on Earth Culture. Due to ineptitude on their part, their EEM (Extreme Enhancement Modules)is sent to the wrong person. Instead of the brilliant "Bruce Wayne" type recipient, its delivered to total slacker LOU MARTIN. Now Lou is beefed up like the Hulk with the strength to match. He has the powers but he's still the slacker and wants nothing more than to continue doing absolutely nothing and sit on his ass all day eating junk food and watching TV. 
Unfortunately for Lou, the EEM also gave him another odd power; he now ATTRACTS super-villains, aliens and any general villainess threat. So his life is now filled with "saving the day" so he can go back to his couch.A neighborhood "League" of heroes is formed (think loser heroes from the world of The Tick) and they want to bring Lou into their fold. They are (taken from Wikipedia) "Val Andrist, the environmentalist daughter of an Ice Cream magnate who could fly, Francis Dutton, an aromatherapist hippie with a sonic scream, Lauren Isley, an elderly woman who could predict the future (but was so absent-minded she got confused with the past), a cat that became a giant when scared (it opened and ate her owner's EEM by mistake, later adopted by Lauren) and "Gecko", a nerdish man who could stick to walls and took the concept of being a superhero too seriously."
One of my favorite issues is #5 where a giant NAZI DINOSAUR from a parallel universe comes looking for mayhem. His name: "TYRANNOSAURUS REICH". Brilliant.
Unfortunately, the book was cancelled after only 15 issues due to low sales.... and a weak, unstable Comic Market at the time. With hilarious writing by JOHN ARCUDI and kickass art by DOUG MAHNKE, MAJOR BUMMER is one of my favorite comic books. Even T-Rex LOVES this book and will actually spread the word of Major Bummer to other non-comic folk like herself! So contact some comic stores and find those 15 issues! You'll love em!
ORIGINS OF CHRISTMAS: THOR, ORGIES & MORE!
Over at CRACKED.com, they did a nice post on the ORIGINS OF CHRISTMAS, which involved Pagan Orgies and Human Sacrifices. It is there that I discoverd THOR's connection to the Christmas Tree. Check it out:Question: What customary Christmas holiday decoration bases its origins in ritualistic human sacrifice?Answer: What, you can't read the heading? It's the Christmas tree, you lazy bastard.
Back in the pagan day, all inanimate objects were fair game for worship. Trees, rocks, mountains, funny shaped sticks that look like phalluses, whatever. So supposedly some of the Norsemen got it in their heads to worship a thunder god named Thor by ritualistically sacrificing humans and animals at the tree they designated "Thor's Oak."
Little did they know that Thor was too busy fighting the Incredible Hulk to notice the messy sacrifices.*JimSmash Note: Hulk once fought Santa in "Incredible Hulk #378.
You know who did notice? Christian missionaries. They notice everything. So, one missionary of the Christian persuasion, Winfred (aka Saint Boniface), came upon an imminent sacrifice and sternly disapproved. He took an ax and chopped down Thor's freaking oak, which in itself should make him some sort of god by default. Of course, because of his boring ass monotheistic beliefs, instead of declaring himself the god of thunder, Winfred focussed on a tiny little fir tree that grew from the hacked trunk. And as all Cracked readers likely know, the fir trees' triangular shape represents the Trinity, and voila, a Christian tradition was born.
Click HERE to see the entire posting of the Origins of Christmas!
EVERY LUCAS CHRISTMAS CARD
Scott King found every single Christmas Card Lucas has sent out over the years! Click HERE or HERE!previous Lucas Xmas Card post.
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Scott also did a funny post poking fun at me on my Terminator TV show review:
"The End of Days has arrived. Jim Smash liked something! None of us Hahaha! Nice.
"MY NAME IS BRUCE" POSTERS
Check em out! Posters to Bruce Campbell's upcoming Indy-Indy film "MY NAME IS BRUCE" where he plays himself and is kidnapped off the Set of a film and forced to portray one of his characters.... rumors are ASH from EVIL DEAD. Awesome.
Monday, December 17, 2007
TV REVIEW: TERMINATOR SARAH CONNOR CHRONICLES
Ack! I've been meaning to post for a week-plus! A couple weeks back I got a hold of the PILOT to the upcoming new Terminator series "THE SARAH CONNOR CHRONICLES". I went in with low expectations, yet an open mind (no, seriously).Man, overall I rather enjoyed it! I know, right?
The show takes place a couple years after T2. LENA HEADEY (300) plays a great Sarah, although she's not nearly as super-soldier-buff as Linda Hamilton was, but its ok because she can act and brings something to the character. The kid they got for JOHN seems ok to me as well... I can believe that he was once the younger Edward Furlong and has grown since (read: still slightly whiney-annoying, but maturing quickly).
While flawed and definitely TELEVISION (on FOX), I found very few things that bugged me. Those things being... the young female Terminator that teams-up with Sarah and John. The ROLE itself bugs me. However, there's no getting around it, so I'm thankful they cast SUMMER GLAU ("Rain" on Firefly) who does a good job. There's also a handful of moments that made me laugh and groan, but then I reminded myself its Television and just rolled with them (you'll see). And then there's the whole "Another Terminator(s) timetraveling back to kill John" plot device...
this has been done to death already and I really don't want to see it every episode. Which leads me to "where can they take this"?As a stand-alone episode, I really enjoyed it and look forward to checking out future episodes. My concerns now are with how the show holds week-in/week-out. Can they push the story without relying on "Terminator of the Week" guest appearances? Can it be interesting and entertaining WITHOUT Terminators? I guess we'll soon find out.
In the end, as a TELEVISION series, it has potential and so far has my viewership. If anything, the pilot alone was sooooo much better than the travesty that was TERMINATOR 3. So check it out in January 2008 when it airs.... and remember, IT'S TELEVISION!
AGAIN, HURRY BEFORE THEY TAKE IT DOWN
6 min preview of Batman Begins 2....
*clip from unknown source.
Friday, December 14, 2007
KILLER LEGOS
ALIEN LEGO!!!! YES!!!!The IRON MAN is pretty sick, too.
I also included the now-classic CHESTBURSTER LEGO.Click on the image to enlarge!
More pics HERE.
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*SpaceJase, this post is for you!
DANIEL WAY MUST BE STOPPED
Daniel Way must have made a deal with the Devil, because he continues to be employed by Marvel....GHOST RIDER #18 came out this week and dropped quite the bombshell on fans... SPOILER AHEAD (if the pic hasn't already done the job)...
Ghost Rider is actually an ANGEL.
WAY explained that Johnny Blaze still made the deal with the Devil, but when the Devil came to collect, Roxanne Simpson prayed for Johnny. Heaven heard her prayers and stepped in, bonding Johnny's soul with the angel Zadkiel. Apparently Angels cannot be condemned to Hell except by God. Therefore, Johnny (who is angel-mixed forever now) is "safe". Way also said that it did not make sense for an agent of Hell to be running around helping innocents... that is something an angel would do, not a demon.
So there you have it. Ghost Rider is now an angel. I'm not quite clear if he's ALWAYS been an Angel; retconned history... or if he's NOW an angel. Way has been retconning Wolverine into a steaming pile of poop in
WOLVERINE: ORIGINS (oh god, its soooo bad), so I can see him retconning this.Ghost Rider is now like DC's THE SPECTRE..... or 1998's atrocious "ANGEL PUNISHER". That's right, I went there.
Ya know what, Way? Since you love retconning shit so everything "connects" and you're a fan of "great ideas", why not just go for it and have Wolverine be the new Angel Ghost Rider - Flaming Skull (in shape of his pointy hair of course), angel wings, claws.... and a side-car to the motorcycle that "X-Rider-23" rides in! Ass.
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.....and que Maker's rage..........3......2....1...
INTERNATIONAL DARK KNIGHT POSTER
Eh, I'm not thrilled with it. It's not bad or anything, its just not doing anything for me except making me want to watch Fight Club again. I think it would work better (for me) if he was outside perched up high... not inside a corporate skyscraper. I guess its the whole Bruce Wayne thing they are playing at.....Thoughts?
KITTY WIGS ! ! ! !
"PINK PASSION: Pink is the color of fantasy. Our model, Chicken, looks like her mind is elsewhere when she wears this wig -- somewhere in a land of cotton candy and pinwheels where the air smells like sugar kisses. Pink makes your kitty feel elegant, modern and quintessentially feline."Click HERE!
Flickr site
TWISTED CHRISTMAS
Last night I attended TWISTED SISTER's 2nd Annual TWISTED CHRISTMAS concert at the House of Blues Sunset!!! Like last year, it was fucking AWESOME!!!! DEE SNYDER is such a great frontman! He's funny, personable, connects with the audience and just tears up the stage as a performer! And again like last year, he kicked off the show in a Santa costume, then changing into the classic freakshow of old. YES! The band, comprised of all 5 original members, rocked it out and the energy was fantastic!Highlights included all the hits you'd want to hear ("We're Not Gonna Take It", "Stay Hungry", "I Wanna Rock" etc), some great old tunes (sweet!) and a handful of XMas songs from their excellent 2007 release "A VERY TWISTED CHRISTMAS" (It's great, pick it up!). "SILVER BELLS" was a treat, as always, and the cinema snow falling down over us was a nice touch! We were up towards the front and throughtout the evening would get pulled in and out of the Pit, which was going strong even during the "ballad"! Ha!
The night was fucking awesome and I hope they do it again next year.... and the next and the next!! I am now officially in the Christmas Mood! YAY!
Thursday, December 13, 2007
FUN MARTIAN MANHUNTER COMIC
Sometimes a comic comes out of nowhere and delightfully surprises me, reminding me of my love of Comics. The recent MARTIAN MANHUNTER arc of JLA CLASSIFIED (#42-46) did just that. I picked up all 5 issues primarily for the art, done by veteran RICK LEONARDI. I first saw his art back in 1987 with DAREDEVIL #249 
which guest starred WOLVERINE (back when he was actually a cool character) and was an instant fan of his art. Well, he rocked it out in this story!Like I said, I really enjoyed this 5-issue arc (which I've just now finally read, in one sitting). It was fun, exciting, cool and held my interest the entire time! Martian Manhunter is a difficult character to spotlight, but they pulled it off! In fact, I am now left wishing that writer JUSTIN GRAY and penciller LEONARDI would be given a MONTHLY Martian Manhunter title! Make it so, DC! You have one fan ready to fork over cash every month for it!
So if you're looking for a fun comic and dig Martian Manhunter... or want to read a good story with him to become acquainted with.... contact your local comic shop and pick up JLA CLASSIFIED #42-46. And don't forget to grab some oreos on your way home!.....MM fans will get that joke.
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*Another Leonardi run I recommend: SPIDER-MAN 2099!
LUCAS XMAS CARD
Check it out! Ha!
And it plays "Jingle Bells" when you open it up!
Next years should be the "All-Tusken Raider Choir"
....you know, from Family Guy...
(sorry, no footage on YouTube anymore)
And it plays "Jingle Bells" when you open it up!
Next years should be the "All-Tusken Raider Choir"
....you know, from Family Guy...
(sorry, no footage on YouTube anymore)
DANTE 01
I saw over at ANDREW'S BLOG a sweet clip for the upcoming movie DANTE 01. It's by MARO CARO, who co-directed DELICATESSEN and CITY OF LOST CHILDREN. He was also the Art Director on those films and Design Supervisor on ALIEN:RESURRECTION. His look is unmistakeable. So much so, the ship in DANTE 01 almost looks like the AURIGA set designs in Alien:Resurrection. Anyway, check out the trailer. I think it looks awesome!
......and thanks for the snag, Andrew! Nice find!
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
AVP-R: FIRST 5 MINUTES
Due to several requests, here is a post on yesterday's "First 5 minutes of AVP-R" release by FOX......
FIRST, THE COOL:
1) The Predators look and move like actual Predators, as opposed to the steroid dudes in AVP.
2) Dad gets his arm burned off by acid blood and kid gets face-hugged.
3) Get to see Predators running around inside the Predator ship. Some nice lighting, camera work and editing of the Pred crew getting killed here.
MAIN GRIPES:
1) The Predalien looks ridiculous, with its dreadlocks, giant mandibles and Pumpkinhead physique. It's simply a horrible design that should not exist in the Alien Mythos. It's entire look and biology contradicts the previous movies and established "rules". Plus, it goes from Chestburster to Full-grown creature in a manner of seconds? Sigh.
2) I still hate that this movie takes place on Earth, in Modern Times no less. Have the planet be a colonized planet somewhere.
3) Aliens do not have skin. There is a shot with a Predator skinning the skull of an Alien. Again, Aliens do not have skin - they have an exoskeleton. It may seem minor to non-fans, but this is a good example of how the creators simply do not know what they are doing with these creatures.
MINOR GRIPES:
1) I don't need to see the Predator homeworld, nor do I want to. Leave it a mystery. Why do people nowadays feel the must know and see everything????
2) The main Predator is "a Cleaner".... like "The Wolf" in Pulp Fiction. These are the directors' words, not mine. Lame.
3) In the 5min shown, they rehash songs from the soundtracks to ALIEN 3, ALIEN: RESURRECTION and PREDATOR.
Overall, a fun 5 minutes that already looks a thousand times better than the first AVP... which isn't saying much, because AVP has nothing to offer. AVP-R looks to be a fun "Fan Film" with some cool imagery and lots of stupid bullshit.
I plan to buy a ticket to GOLDEN COMPASS and sneak into the AVP-R theater. I will not give money to the Studios for this film. I implore you to do the same. I also look forward to editing the fuck out of this once its on dvd, so I can watch a nice little "music video" of cool imagery.
I know my rage sounds silly, but I hold ALIENS very close to my heart. I think most people will enjoy this. For me, it just breaks my heart.
FIRST, THE COOL:
1) The Predators look and move like actual Predators, as opposed to the steroid dudes in AVP.
2) Dad gets his arm burned off by acid blood and kid gets face-hugged.
3) Get to see Predators running around inside the Predator ship. Some nice lighting, camera work and editing of the Pred crew getting killed here.
MAIN GRIPES:
1) The Predalien looks ridiculous, with its dreadlocks, giant mandibles and Pumpkinhead physique. It's simply a horrible design that should not exist in the Alien Mythos. It's entire look and biology contradicts the previous movies and established "rules". Plus, it goes from Chestburster to Full-grown creature in a manner of seconds? Sigh.
2) I still hate that this movie takes place on Earth, in Modern Times no less. Have the planet be a colonized planet somewhere.
3) Aliens do not have skin. There is a shot with a Predator skinning the skull of an Alien. Again, Aliens do not have skin - they have an exoskeleton. It may seem minor to non-fans, but this is a good example of how the creators simply do not know what they are doing with these creatures.
MINOR GRIPES:
1) I don't need to see the Predator homeworld, nor do I want to. Leave it a mystery. Why do people nowadays feel the must know and see everything????
2) The main Predator is "a Cleaner".... like "The Wolf" in Pulp Fiction. These are the directors' words, not mine. Lame.
3) In the 5min shown, they rehash songs from the soundtracks to ALIEN 3, ALIEN: RESURRECTION and PREDATOR.
Overall, a fun 5 minutes that already looks a thousand times better than the first AVP... which isn't saying much, because AVP has nothing to offer. AVP-R looks to be a fun "Fan Film" with some cool imagery and lots of stupid bullshit.
I plan to buy a ticket to GOLDEN COMPASS and sneak into the AVP-R theater. I will not give money to the Studios for this film. I implore you to do the same. I also look forward to editing the fuck out of this once its on dvd, so I can watch a nice little "music video" of cool imagery.
I know my rage sounds silly, but I hold ALIENS very close to my heart. I think most people will enjoy this. For me, it just breaks my heart.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
ULTIMATES 3: RETURN OF MADUREIRA
Back in the 90s, JOE MADUREIRA was my favorite "current" comic artist of the time. His X-MEN run kept me on the book, even during the shitty dark times... Anyway, Joe Mad left comics in the late 90s/early Tweens to pursue a career in Gaming, which he was successful at. But now he has returned to comics pencilling the new mini-series ULTIMATES 3. I impatiently picked up the book to check out new Joe Mad art!!!!Before I tackle the art, I wanted to throw in that I think putting Joe Mad onto ULTIMATES simply does not make sense. The Ultimates were pretty much "Marvel Movies", taking a more film/tv approach to storytelling and using "realistic" visuals. Joe Mad is known for his over-the-top style and anime influence. His art does not feel "right" for an Ultimates book. Now onto the art....
The art is fucking abyssmal. Wow. I mean, this is fucking BAAAAAAD. However, I think most of the blame goes to the coloring. The coloring of this book just muddy-ups the pencils into this blurry, bland, confusing mess on every page. Check out the comparisons below of Joe Mad's inked pencils and then the muddy mess coloring overtop. Ugh. This is some of the worst coloring I have ever seen. Apparently the colorist only knows of one kind of light source and one level of highlighting. Its like a cheap filter was applied to the pencils.
MORE COMPARISON PICS POSTED HERE.Coloring aside, some of Joe's pencils are nice while others look very amateurish and rushed; not the Joe Mad that made me giddy years ago. Not only am I disappointed and unimpressed, but I will unfortunately not be picking up future issues of Ultimates 3..... unless a new colorist is brought in, then I'll give it another glance.
BATTLESTAR JIMMY
Check out THIS survey!(thanks, Lisa!)
I tied with BATTLESTAR GALACTICA and MOYA (Farscape)! Sweet. 2nd place tie: SERENITY (Firefly) and HEART OF GOLD (Hitchiker's Guide)!
What did you score?!!!
PREDATOR HOMEWORLD
Here's a pic of the PREDATOR HOMEWORLD, as seen in AVP-R. Can't really get much out of the picture, but enough to give you an idea. Of course, this doesn't really matter because nothing in AVP-R counts as anything official in the ALIEN or PREDATOR Mythos. It's all a dream.... a terrible, terrible dream... like the kind you wake up from in the middle of night with explosive diarrhaea stomach pains.Previous AVP2 posts:
Regurgitating chestbursters
Dumb looking Predalien7 Reasons why it will suck
8th Reason Why AVP2 Will Suck
Another AVP2 Trailer
AVP2 Poster looks like Firefox
AVP2 Pic & Title
AVP2 Surprisingly Angers Jim (sarcasm)
AVP2: Survival of the Shittiest
WRITER'S STRIKE: TREKKIE STYLE
Oops, forgot to post yesterday... yesterday was STAR TREK DAY on the Writer's Strike Picket line! Actors and fans hit the line to support the Writers. More pics HERE. Love the sign in the pic to the left!--------------
You know, lots of attention is being put on the writers. But what about the thousands of non-writers who are out of work right now due to this strike? I'm talking about caterers, set designers, drivers, etc. They get dick out of this deal, except for loss of work and paychecks. Fucking resolve this shit already!
TRAILERS: NAME OF KING / MACHINE GIRL
Jason Statham is becoming THE silly over-the-top action movie dude of the Tweens! His next outing is IN THE NAME OF THE KING, which looks... well, see for yourself. Don't laugh too hard, because THIS is what THE HOBBIT could look like sans-Peter Jackson.
...and here's another trailer.... that RULES!!!!
Monday, December 10, 2007
SICK BIANCHI X-MEN ART
This is a pinup by Italian comic artist SIMONE BIANCHI. Its also the variant cover to the 2nd printing of MESSIAH COMPLEX PT 1, which kicks off the first X-Men crossover since the late 90s. The story is currently on Chapter 6 and I have to say, I'm freaking loving this story! If you like the X-Men but bailed in the 90s due to crappy convoluted storytelling, this is a perfect jumping onboard point. Its also a good place for anyone who wanted to check out the X-MEN but were discouraged by all the books and decades of continuity. I haven't enjoyed the X-Men this much for atleast a decade! Ask your local comic shop for issue info!........ or email me: jimsmash@gmail.com----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*Bianchi does NOT do the interior art for Messiah Complex... however, look for him as the new ASTONISHING X-MEN artist next year, with Warren Ellis writing! Here's some more Bianchi X-Men & Wolverine art:
WOO IN MAX HAVOC ! ! !
Check it out!!! WOO of the infamous WOO2 has a cameo in MAX HAVOC. From Woo2: 
"This movie looks terrible... and the island of Guam lost nearly 800,000 in making this, but that's me playing a cop with Arnold Chon."GO WOO!!!!
NEW BATSUIT
Top-Left pics is the new Bat Suit for THE DARK KNIGHT (BATMAN BEGINS 2). I don't hate it, but I'm not thrilled either. The new batsuit is dangerously approaching Schumacher territory. For one, it looks like a freaking action figure; "Urban Camo Combat Batman!". And once again, they are afraid to show the Bat Emblem. Why? I think everyone agreed that BATMAN BEGINS worked because they took a "Back to Basics" approach... why not do the same with the Batsuit? Check it out.....
Batman Begins suit with some minor color corrections, including the BLACK Bat Emblem on the chest. This is the Batman I want to see on screen.
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