Wednesday, May 17, 2006


Today's "Villain of the Day" is TIAMAT!!
(by guest writer, Jason the Destructor!)

TIAMAT, The Bitch Queen of Avernus, Mother of Evil Dragons, Guardian of the Portal to Dis, is today's Villain of the Day. She is a five-headed juggernaut whose vanity is only matched by her cruelty. Each of her five heads is capable of great-wyrm level breath weapons, Red-fire, Blue-lightning, Green-poison gas, Black-acid, and White-frost. In addition she posses goddess level magic along with innate abilities, and a wicked scorpion tail.
She made several appearances in the Dungeons & Dragons cartoon, the first of which trying to eat Uni... that annoying albino mutant horse that becomes lil' Bobby's special friend.. sigh.. In addition to hanging out in the first level of hell, and running around trying to eat unicorns... she also appears in the world of Krynn, as Takhisis, The Dark Queen, head of the Evil Pantheon. While the D&D cartoon made her arch-enemy out to be Venger.. the gender-confused half-fiend wizard, mentioning this at a Gen-con will be the same as invoking a Tasha's Uncontrollable Laughter spell.
Her true arch-enemy is her brother, Bahamut, King of the good metallic dragons, also known as the Platinum Dragon and in Dragonlance land.. Paladine (or Fizban when in disquise)!

And as cool as the D&D cartoon was to give the most powerful dragon goddess a speech impediment, she does not have a lisp. It's a well documented fact she went to the speech therapist trailer in elementary school and cleared it up.
*Haha, Thanks, Jason!! Awesome!!


Anonymous said...

Becasue Destructing just wasn't paying the bills,

I am now known as,

Jason The Gardemer.

Anonymous said...

I am SOOOOOO Glad you did that bio jason, one else that I know could have done her justice.,...nor slay her.

(hey that's how you spelled it)


Anonymous said...

You rolled a 20 on that write-up,
...and I failed to make my saving throw.

woobot said...

Mr. Jimsmash... could you please list the last 10 featured "villians of the day" with a photo (a nice group shot maybe) So that we can vote for the "baddest villian" to ever grace JIMSMASH!! Or mabye write in battle showdowns, I think Tiamat vs. Maleficent would be kickass.

Mr. Legs said...

I wanna see a battle between the Skeksis and Old Creepy Hulk!