Friday, May 12, 2006


Today's "Villain of the Day" is GARGAMEL!

Gargamel is an evil, sexually repressed wizard (though with very limited powers - he actually seems to be more of an alchemist) whose main goal is to destroy the smurfs. His back is perpetually stooped, his robe is worn and patched, and his teeth are rotten. And yes, he's single, Ladies!!! Sometimes he wants to eat the smurfs, other times he wants to use them to make gold (according to an old magic spell), and still other times he has even more bizarre uses for them; e.g. a smurf butt plug.

Though he often catches smurfs who wander by his home or which he happens across in the forest, he does not know the location of the hidden Smurf Village, a fact which continually frustrates him. On rare occasions, he will discover the location of the smurf village, but sooner or later forgets its location due to either a magic spell put on him by Papa Smurf or forgets because of some other bizarre factor like eating too many smurf mushrooms. He is an eternal bungler. Some of his schemes to catch smurfs border on the bizarre (e.g. a "blue magnet" that attracted solely blue items). He has a seemingly endless library of spellbooks, potions, and gimmicks for his life's passion. However, no matter how elaborate Gargamel's plans, they invariably end in failure, causing him to spout his catch-phrase: "I hate those smurfs!".

Despite his never-ending hatred and frustration for the smurfs, more than once he has had to rely on Papa Smurf to help save him from a more wicked enemy's plans (e.g., Balthazar) or to bail him out of a potion gone horribly wrong.

He lives in a run-down hovel with his flea-bitten cat Azrael. In later episodes he acquired an apprentice named Scruple, who seems moderately brighter and more savvy than his master, though still inexperienced in the ways of magic. Some speculate, based on his wearing a tonsure, that Gargamel was a relapsed monk who now dabbles in sorcery, chiefly concocting various potions, and attempting bizarre forms of alchemy.

Didja Know? - Gargamel created Smurfette. Originally, she was a brunette mole (not the animal - like the spy) who was sent to infiltrate Smurf Village as the only female smurf and ravage the village with evil magical STDs. Unfortunately for Gargamel, the Smurf Village People had no desire to touch anything on Smurfette except for her new Spring Fashion High Heels.


Anonymous said...

I think Gargamel started out as a mythic figure in medieval folklore. He was a bad guy then, too.

Lisa said...

Gargamel! AWESOME!

Penguin Trauma said...

Wonder what the stats would be in a Smurfs RPG.......

Or is that too sad and geeky to ask??

Mr. Legs said...

The live action/CGI version of the Smurfs has been announced. It's slated to release in 2008.

Who should play the live action Gargamel?