CNBC has a crazy clip showing an AOL customer trying to cancel his account, but a phone rep won't let him do it. In the end, it took 4 minutes of asinine frustation.
Oh man! I had a similar experience with cancelling my credit card. It wasn't as bad, but it did feel like I was breaking up with a girlfriend. They actually said, "Is it us? Did we doing anything wrong? What can we do to keep you?" Jesus, how about have some self-respect?
Anyway, here's the transcript:
CLOCK READOUT - 00:00
AOL REPRESENTATIVE: Hi this is John at AOL... how may I help you today?
VINCENT FERRARI: I wanted to cancel my account.
AOL: Sorry to hear that. Let's pull your account up here real quick. Can I have your name please?
VINCENT: Vincent Ferrari.
CLOCK READOUT - 00:30
AOL: You've had this account for a long time.
AOL: Use this quite a bit. What was the cause of wanting to turn this off today?
VINCENT: I just don't use it anymore.
AOL: Do you have a high speed connection, like the DSL or cable?
AOL: How long have you had that...
AOL: ...the high speed?
AOL: Well, actually I'm showing a lot of usage on this account.
VINCENT: Yeah, a long time, a long time ago, not recently...
CLOCK READOUT - 01:47
AOL: Okay, I mean is there a problem with the software itself?
VINCENT: No. I just don't use it, I don't need it, I don't want it. I just don't need it anymore.
AOL: Okay. So when you use this... I mean, use the computer, I'm saying, is that for business or for... for school?
VINCENT: Dude, what difference does it make. I don't want the AOL account anymore. Can we please cancel it?
CLOCK READOUT - 02:21
AOL: Last year was 545, last month was 545 hours of usage...
VINCENT: I don't know how to make this any clearer, so I'm just gonna say it one last time. Cancel the account.
AOL: Well explain to me what's, why...
VINCENT: I'm not explaining anything to you. Cancel the account.
AOL: Well, what's the matter man? We're just, I'm just trying to help here.
VINCENT: You're not helping me. You're helping me...
AOL: I am trying to help.
VINCENT: Helping... listen, I called to cancel the account. Helping me would be canceling the account. Please help me and cancel the account.
AOL: No, it wouldn't actually...
VINCENT: Cancel my account...
AOL: Turning off your account...
VINCENT: ...cancel the account...
AOL: ...would be the worst thing that...
VINCENT: ...cancel the account.
CLOCK READOUT - 03:02
AOL: Okay, cause I'm just trying to figure out...
VINCENT: Cancel the account. I don't know how to make this any clearer for you. Cancel the account. When I say cancel the account, I don't mean help me figure out how to keep it, I mean cancel the account.
AOL: Well, I'm sorry, I don't know what anybody's done to you Vincent because all I'm...
VINCENT: Will you please cancel the account.
CLOCK READOUT - 03:32
AOL: Alright, some day when you calmed down you're gonna realize that all I was trying to do was help you... and it was actually in your best interest to listen to me.
VINCENT: Wonderful, Okay.
CLOCK READOUT - 03:39
"I've never ever experienced anything like that," said Ferrari. He recounts how the AOL representative - as a last resort even asked if his dad was home."I think I could've put up with everything, but at the point when he asked to speak to my father, I came very close to losing it at that point," said the 30-year-old Ferrari.Ferrari then posted the call online, and the response was tremendous.AOL sent him an apology and said the customer service rep was no longer with the company.
Source and video.