Friday, April 28, 2006


Today's "Villain of the Day" is
"Between the time when the oceans drank Atlantis, and the rise of the sons of Aryas, there was an age undreamed of......"

The ashes are trampled into the Earth, and the blood become as snow as the Dark Invaders attack the small village. The destruction is of Legend. "Who knows what they came for, weapons of steel or murder? It was never known." All that is known is the symbol they all wore; a snake with two heads. Only two living souls remain among the fiery genocide around them. A young boy's mother stands strong, bravely protecting her young son with proud steel. The Invaders hault their attack and a man with gentle eyes removes his helmet and simply looks into her eyes. She gazes into the calm, peaceful eyes of the strange man standing before her - a man with brown skin, straight black hair and hypnotic blue eyes; surely lineage from a lost or forgotten race. His gaze soothes her, her racing heartbeat calms to a relaxing rhythm. Her blade gently drops to her side and her head is taken, her son still holding her hand. Conan the Barbarian, fiercest Cimmerian warrior of the Lands, is violently born by THULSA DOOM.

Years later, Conan is a MAN. Raging Thurst for Revenge flows through his veins, pumps through his warrior heart. He goes after Thulsa Doom with the taste of blood already in his mouth, the Devil himself in his eyes. Bah! Fool! You do not know what power is.

"Steel isn't strong, boy, flesh is stronger! Look around you. There, on the rocks; that beautiful girl. Come to me, my child... [the girl jumps to her death] THAT is strength, boy! THAT is power! What is steel compared to the hand that wields it?....Crucify him!!!"

But Conan has friends, a rare thing in this world I tell you, and is rescued from Death's cold grip. Once again, he goes to Thulsa Doom with the power of Crom in his flesh and steel. Upon entering Thulsa Doom's lair, inside the bowels of the Mountain of Power, they realize the horror of what they are truly fighting. For Thulsa Doom is no mere mortal King! He rules the Snake Cult! Behold his Orgy Den of butchered human corpses and steamy afrodisiatic human flesh soup!!! Thulsa Doom transforms into his true form, the living image of the God Set himself!! What shall Thulsa Doom do first, to his unwelcomed guests? How about a live poisonous snake-arrow into Conan's girlfriend? A fatal wound for sure!
Infidel Defilers!!
Do not dare cross Thulsa Doom,
or you shall drown in lakes of blood!!


Dr. Lazarus said...

Fuck. Yeah.

Andrew Glazebrook said...

Thorgrim is beside himself with grief...he raised that snake from an egg !!

Anonymous said...

Thulsa ate my booty out really goood dude! With those blue eyes