Thursday, April 27, 2006

VILLAIN OF THE DAY: MING !

Today's "Villain of the Day" is MING !
(by guest writer Maker!)
MING
(also known as "The Merciless", "His Highness", "Master of all he Surveys'', "Emperor of the Galaxy", "Ruler of The Universe")

Where Darth Vader is the Emperor's lap dog,....MING answers to no lifeform. Where Doctor Doom seeks to gain power and conquer the world,.... MING IS power, and uses the galaxy as his play thing. Yes, MING,.... Ruler of MONGO and all he surveys. The baddest of the bad. He rules his Kingdom with an jeweled incrusted fist, demanding unconditional loyalty from his subjects and annual tributes to be paid to him in his honor by his governed Kingdoms. Often rulers of such Kingdoms Fall upon their own swords (willingly,..... or not) to prove their devotion to Lord MING. When attending his court, there is certain edicate that must be strictly maintained. For example; Violence amongst his subjects is stictly prohibited,..because no one,...NO ONE...dies in the palace without his highness' permission. He will often take liberties with select females of his kingdom, by bestowing upon them the great honor of being his concubine,.....until a time were he grows weary of them and blasts them into space.

Yes,..MING! There is him,.. and then there is everyone else. As a matter of fact,.. there's just him. Don't worry about anyone else, or your likely to find yourself living in exile on the ice planet Friggia for commiting such a blatant offense.

When Ming is to busy blasting Kingdoms to atoms, quelling feuds between the Hawk-People and the Arborians, putting enemies of the state to death, or just amusing himself with a small planet in the SK system, he relies on the head of his secret police, Klytus, to weed out traitors and insurgents (frequently employing devoted brainwashed, errr....I mean patriotic minions as spys). MING, does however, often enjoy the delicate way Klytus applys the BORE WORMS to suspects during interrogations (usually with grapes, and a power potion). And, on the occassion, when some pathetic creature hurls themselves out into the void in a vain attempt to thwart Lord MING's enjoyment, he will employ the use of his floating servant to disentigrate them. Or, he may choose to resolve the issue with the use of his Power Ring. The exact extent and capabilities of the ring have yet to be determined. But, MING routinely uses it to subdue, and control his subjects. A frequently entertaining way is usually through a hypnotic state in wich the subject responds in an erotic euphoria, which is orchestrated by MING himself. His daughter has given the best response thus far........


ALL HAIL MING !!!!!!!
RULER OF THE UNIVERSE !!!
"HAIL MING !!! ...HAIL!!!!!!"
EMPEROR OF THE GALAXY!!!
"HAIL MING !!! ...HAIL!!!!!!"

5 comments:

Jen said...

Wow,
I was 7 when that movie came out!
I thought it was the GREATEST!
Prince Barin... Hawk People..
HAHAHAHA!!
God, I'm Getting Old.

Anonymous said...

Go, Flash, Go!

breonala@yahoo.com said...

MING ROCKS!!!!! The original movie house series was so fucking weirding for it's time!!! Man that stuff freaked me out on TV in the 60s!!!!

breonala@yahoo.com said...

And who can forget the sequal.....
Flesh Gordon!?!?!?!!!!
I think it had "LING" instead of
MING!!!!!

Mr. Legs said...

Max Von Sydow, who played Emperor Ming in the movie, also played another potential villain of the day, Jesus Christ, in the Greatest Story Ever Told.