HAVE A GREAT LABOR DAY WEEKEND ! !

FOR ALL THE HARD WORKIN'

JIMSMASH READERS OUT THERE!

(see ya TUESDAY!)

ALIEN BOARDGAME

Speaking of WOO2...
Check out what WOO and the Mrs bought me the other week! That's right, an intact Kenner ALIEN BOARDGAME from 1979!! Not only is it super sweet, but its fun, too!! You run your astronauts around the Nostromo trying to get to the escape shuttle NARCISSUS. Unfortunately, you have to avoid not only other players' ALIENS, but your OWN! They move faster and can take shorcuts via airducts. Awesome. And check out the "BLOOD SMEARED" instructions! At first we thought it was spilled ink or something, but further research revealed that its intentional and all the instructions look like that! It's the little xtra effort for the kids' enjoyment that make things in this world so much better.

Which brings me to another thought... I'm still amazed that Kenner, back in 1979, actaully made a [small] toyline based on ALIEN. I mean, for one the movie is a RATED-R HORROR/THRILLER... what little kid went and saw this flick in the theaters? (and this is before home video)... or should I say, what parent back then let their kids see it? Enough to warrant a toyline? Very weird. Although, that's why the big 18" figure is rare - parental outcry had Kenner pull the toys from shelves! But, no complaints here, as those old toys and games are super duper cool and I'm slowly collecting em (they are rare)! In addition to the cool new game, I have the 18" action figure , some puzzles and a few other little items.

Must... have... them... all....!

THANKS, WOOS!!!!

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*My checkbook has had the boardgame image on the front for several years now. Really, are you that shocked by this?

DARTH LEDERHOSEN

I was about to post the funny VADER LEDERHOSEN pic that FiveFingers pointed us to in the comments section earlier, but then I saw over at WOO2 he had put the image into a friday bumper! Dunno if Woo saw the pic here or from somewhere else but his bumper is both hilarious and awesome! Thanks, FiveFingers! And go visit the infamous WOO2!!

Side Note: Apologies for the slow JimSmash activity this week... I'm currently slammed with work. I need to figure out how to turn JimSmash into a full-time paying gig, that way you can get even MORE JimSmash fun on a daily basis!! Anyone want to put me on their payroll?

PACMAN RUG

Check out this hand woven PACMAN rug!!!!
It can be yours HERE for a measly $1,800 USD (approx)
I know someone who's Pinball room would like nicer with this....

RANDOM FIND: BEST FREEZER EVER

Dylan, I expect to see your freezer looking similar,

if not better,
to this the next time I come over.

ALIENS VS GALACTICA

ALIENS Vs
BATTLESTAR GALACTICA!!!

Nice fan art! But it would only work if everyone died and Galactica was forced to self destruct. The Aliens ALWAYS win. Says so in the Bible. Ok, there can be ONE survivor.... 2 survivors if one of em is DAGGIT, the chimp in the robot-dog suit.
------------------------------
* Artist unknown.

KCROSSLEY ALIEN ART

Kev Crossley is a fellow ALIEN fan and has made some pretty neat looking paintings inspired by Giger's creature! His lighting, coloring, texture and artistic interpretations of the Alien remind a bit of some cool death metal album art in the 80s... like Obituary albums, perhaps?

Click HERE or click HERE to see his other ALIEN pics!
Click HERE to see his other work, including Lord of the Rings.

CUSTOM MARVEL ZOMBIE FIGURES

Dig these really cool custom figures of
MARVEL ZOMBIES!
by NTT
AWESOME! I love that Zombie Thor!
----
*thanks, Five Fingers!

SIMPSONS LIVE-ACTION CASTING

*Click image to enlarge*

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
* For the life of me, I cannot remember where I grabbed these images from many months ago ( yes, it's taken me this long to assemble). Apologies to Source.

LIGHTSABER GOES TO SPACE

LUKE SKYWALKER's original LIGHTSABER from A NEW HOPE is going into space! That's right, the original prop will be taken aboard the space shuttle DISCOVERY come this october! Better yet, CHEWBACCA himself will hand deliver the saber to NASA officials. And [sigh] JANGO FETT and [sigh-sigh] son BOBA FETT will help push the the back of the plane onto the tarmac. The flight will also be greeted by a platoon of STORMTROOPERS and R2-D2. It'd be sweet if the astronaunts had to fight their way to the shuttle. "Don't get cocky, kid!"

Many Bothans died to bring you this information......

(link)

VOTE FOR NEPTUNE COMICS ! !

Hey, Everyone!

Do me a favor and VOTE for Lisa's kickass store NEPTUNE COMICS. It's super duper easy-peasy. Simply click HERE and enter your email. Then when you immediately get the confirmation email, click on the confirm link. DONE! And Neptune gets a vote in City Voter and you've helped out our dear friend LISA! YAY LISA!!!! If you have more than one email, you can vote more than one time, too!

And if you think about it, post a comment letting us all know if you voted!

THANKS, EVERYONE!!!!

DICKHEAD OF THE DAY: ROB DICKHEAD

Some people deserve to be pummeled. For example, this schmuck ROB... last name unknown, so I'll call him "Rob Dickhead".... Rob Dickhead got his hands on an ORIGINAL casting of HAN SOLO IN CARBONITE from the ORIGINAL prop used in EMPIRE STRIKES BACK. Score, right?! Well, Rob Dickhead fucking SAWED OFF the face and then replaced it with a casting of his own dickhead face. Are you kidding me? Go make your own, dickhead! You don't have to fucking DESTROY an original replica MADE FROM THE ACTUAL CAST!!! One halloween, we cast Maker from head to toe and had ourselves a life-size Maker in Carbonite... took 2 days and it was fun. Note that we didn't destroy a piece of film history in the process? So if you see this guy, pummel his dickhead ass.

(link)

MISLEADING OMNIBUS

Dark Horse Comics is jumping on the Omnibus Bandwagon and churning out some of there previous work in uber-collections. ALIENS OMNIBUS VOL 2 has been solicited and its bullshit. The cover has the killer awesome art of DAVE DORMAN from his ALIENS: TRIBES Hardcover Graphic Novel... which is NOT collected inside.

Even worse, inside is the horrible maxi-series "ALIENS: COLONIAL MARINES", bleecch. That series was simply god awful, silly, cartoonish, insulting and unreadable. I mean, the story included giant sea-monster Aliens (argh!!), Vasquez's supposed younger sister (ugh, puh-lease) and human-alien hybrids called "Bug Men" with their lame ass hillbilly over-all wearing leader (see pic). The interior art was pretty wretched, too. Just thinking about that series has my blood-pressure rising..... Anyway, that art on the cover of the omnibus is misleading, man! That aint cool! Its like putting ALIENS on the cover of the AVP DVD.... kinda like THIS!

I do, however, recommend the ALIENS OMNIBUS VOL 1
And of course, I recommend the before-mentioned ALIENS: TRIBES.

AQUAMAN SHOULD BE COOL

Ah, AQUAMAN. The joke character of comics, by fans and non-fans alike. Why does he get zero respect? Me thinks its primarily to his rendition on SUPER FRIENDS. Also, to date I have yet to see a solid kickass comic featuring him (the recent short-lived Pfeifer/Gleason run came close). I think he's a character full of potential, worthy of respect and being one of the "Big Guns" of DC.

One of the biggest problems with Aquaman is that no one really knows what his CHARACTER is; What's his personality and powers?
What does he bring to the table? Most people I talk to just say, "yeah, he can talk to fish. That's it. Lame!" I say BAH to that noise. But he does need to be redefined, I think.

Click HERE to read more of my thoughts on the matter.

STEAMPUNK LIGHTSABER

Made by... er, "CaptainChewbacca's" friend. (link)
Pretty sweet!

--------------------------------
*thanks, Five Fingers!

KUATO SINGS "CHOCOLATE RAIN"

*AUDIO A MUST!!!*
Original "Chocolate Rain"

BEAKER BUSTED

*Snagged from CasualSlack!

LIFE-SIZE BOSSK

Nerds rejoice! No longer must you practice kissing on your kid sister's cabbage patch kid! You can now tongue-lash with the LIFE-SIZE BOSSK bust statue!! It's only $500, but in the end, can you put a price on love? Click HERE to buy, you romantic, you!

300 TRAILER - FAMILY GUY STYLE

*AUDIO A MUST*
----------------------------
*thanks, Richard!

LAW: YOU DON'T SEE STORMTROOPERS' FACES!

The worst thing Lucas did with the Star Wars Prequels was making BOBA FETT a CLONE.... and a clone of that douchesack JANGO FETT. Um, so now the Stormtroopers all look like fucking JANGO? Blashphemy, George.

Ok, that's the worst thing he did BESIDES making the Force a parasitic virus, creating Jar Jar, making Anakin a bitch, Yoda the flipping dancig frog warrior, that short order chef........*grumble grumble*...........

Anyschmoo, look at this new SNOWTROOPER figure. I love the Snowtroopers. Mainly because they are fucking rad. But this new figure..... it... it has the head of Jango... oh god how I hate it... I hate it sooo much... that... it... it... flam - flames. Flames, on the side of my face, heaving... breathle - , heaving breaths.... Heaving breath...

Grrrr, JIMSMASH!!!

RANDOM FIND: NO SERVICE

HA!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PEE WEE ! ! !

PAUL REUBENS TURNS 55 TODAY!

AVP 2 TRAILER

Here's the first [R-rated] trailer for AVP2 (now titled "Aliens Vs Predator: Requiem"). The plot involves the "PRED-ALIEN" hybrid from the first movie attacking a small midwest town in the U.S. Predators and other aliens are added to the mix for what will surely be a poopfest.

NOTE: If video no longer available, search for "AVP2 Trailer" on YouTube.... they keep taking it down due to copyright material... because, you know, people watching the trailer across the globe is bad for business.... anyway, search for it, its about 2:22 in length.

I'm very sad to see two of the best "cinema monsters" turned into cliche drivel. Especially the ALIEN, which as you all know is borderline religion for me, so this really hurts me. Why must FOX turn them into trite, slasher-baddies preying on horny teenagers? Expect to see the Predators in HOCKEY MASKS for "AVP THE THIRD". *sigh* This and the GIJOE movie will be the death of me.

And what's with the super lame PRED-ALIEN Hybrid?
It looks like the stupid KENNER ALIEN QUEEN figure from 1992! ARGGGGHHHH!!!!
JIMSMASH!!!!!!

MISS SOUTH CAROLINA ! !

Holy shit.... just....wow....
Click HERE to hear the audio.
Seriously, you really need to hear the audio.

Sweet, here's the clip via YouTube:

JIMSMASH-LA

HAVE A GOOD WEEKEND!"JIMSMASH-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA!!!"

KEEP A LOOK-OUT. . .

These are 4 Star Wars figures I really want;
* McQuarrie Concept Design DARTH VADER
* SW Holiday Special BOBA FETT - Boba's debut
* McQuarrie Concept Design BOBA FETT
* McQuarrie Concept Design STORMTROOPER

If you happen to come across them at Toys R Us, Target, Wal-Mart, wherever... grab em for me and I'll pay you back..... but no more than $10/figure! (plus shipping costs)

Thanks!!!!

COOL GIJOE COMIC COVERS

*Click image to enlarge and geek*

Here are some cool GIJOE comic covers for you to enjoy and hopefully get rid of that hippo testicle taste from the news earlier. Those old Marvel Joe comics, in the 80s, by Larry Hama ruled, man. I've also included some cool newer images... the newer comics blow, but they sure had some perty covers. The cover to #46 was so awesome, it blew my shit as a kid... still does. I'll let ya find it to see what I'm talking about.

OPTIMUS PRIME PC MOD

By Cybertron's Moons! 36-yr old JOHN MANGUS built a transforming 6-FOOT 10-INCH TALL Optimus Prime PC mod! He also put a 7" LCD screen in Prime's waist so you can watch movies, like Aliens, Star Wars or the awesome 1984 Transformers: The Movie! He even went the distance and made the Aubobot MATRIX of Leadership!
6-ft tall-plus, holy shit!

(source)

AWESOME WARRIOR'S TABLE

"INVADERS! I SAY THEE NAY!!!"

Holy crap, how awesome is this table?! Hear an invader in your home? Screw calling the police! Instead, convert your trusty side table into your SHIELD & CLUB and dive into battle! Defend your home for the safety of your family, your toys.... and FOR SPARTA!!!

(link)

GIJOE MOVIE WILL SUCK BALLS . . .

...big, hairy, sweaty, wrinkly, pimply, hippo balls.
WHY?

...Because it IS confirmed that fucking STEPHEN SOMMERS will direct the GIJOE live-action movie. One doesn't have to look far to see his shitty record thus far; MUMMY, MUMMY RETURNS and VAN HELSING. Yes, I include both Mummy movies. Sorry, but they sucked ass. And Van Helsing was downright criminal. After that anus-boil, he should have been BANNED from ever making another film again. And now, they've given him fucking GIJOE. What the hell? Why not someone who's, say, capable and with talent? Off the top of my head: Doug Limon (Bourne Identity), Ridley Scott (Black Hawk Down), Paul Greengrass (Bourne 2&3)... or even Louis Leterrier (Transporter 1&2) or Len Wiseman (Die Hard 4) would be better than Sommers. Shit, fucking Brett Ratner (Rush Hour) would be better than Sommers. I expect this flick to be along the lines of STREET FIGHTER. ARGH!!!!!

Here's a taste of what to expect:


God, this news makes me want to scorch the earth barren.
Paramount has just ass raped my inner child.
Thanks, dickheads.

(source)

AVP2 PIC AND TITLE

Here's a pic from the upcoming turd AVP2 which now has its 3rd or 4th title (I can't keep up), "ALIEN VS PREDATOR: REQUIEM."

On one hand, an Alien and Predator fight in the RAIN is cool.
On the other hand, they look like crappy costumes and latex prosthetics.

Either the Amalgamated guys are slipping and turning out crappy creature effects, or the director(s) do not know how to light and shoot them properly so they don't look like halloween costumes. I'm thinking a little from Column A, a little from Column B.

I also grow tired of Aliens getting their asses kicked by Predators.
Aliens are the superior species, people. *sigh*

And while cool, Predators are not THAT cool.
Predator fans remind me of Klingon fans....

Plus, is that a dwarf Alien or something? WTF? It's like half-scale!

Bah.
I wish FOX would stop dragging my Beloved through the shitter.
It really takes a slice out of Life Enjoyment for me.

YELLOW LIGHTSABERS

Back when I was a wee lad, the first original STAR WARS figures were the coolest things in Life. In some ways, they still are. The first LUKE figure and then BESPIN LUKE figure both sported YELLOW lightsabers. Some blah blah blah with Kenner and miscommunication with Lucas or something. Anyway, when the PREQUELS came out, we as fans had to swallow Mace Windu's PURPLE lightsaber (really, Lucas? really?). So my point of this post is, if Lucas had no problems with veering off course and having a PURLPLE lightsaber, why no YELLOW LIGHTSABER LUV for the fans? I would have been happy if YODA's lightsaber was yellow... although I don't think Yoda should have HAD a lightsaber, but that's another ranting post all-together. Hell man, how about that one scene with the Younglings... give THEM yellow sabers... it would have then tied in nicely, in a "Lucas Connects All" sort of way: Luke's figure had a Yellow lightsaber because in ANH and Empire, he was not yet a Jedi.... he was in early training. See, was that so hard?

Anyway, Yellow Lightsabers.
Overall, I think Lucas should have kept it to BLUE, GREEN and RED.
No taste the rainbow.

On a side rant... In the Prequels, I hated how all the Jedi had BLUE and GREEN lightsabers like it was the luck of the draw... I wanted the standard saber to be BLUE... with the Jedi MASTERS having GREEN; ie those who were powerful enough in the Force could forge a GREEN saber. That way when Luke show's up in RETURN OF THE JEDI.... sweeeeeet.

DRAGON WARS TRAILER

Man, if this had good story, actors, etc etc... it would rule!

PENNY ARCADE FUNNY

DK PICS

Some leaked pics from some unknown movie.
Click image to enlarge!

MOVIE REVIEW: SUPER BAD

It's funny.
Before I continue, I said it: It's funny.
However, I was disappointed.

The script felt diluted and a bit underdeveloped and lacks the HEART it needed to be a classic. I felt the film ran dangerously close to being "Not Another Teen Sex Movie" or "American Pie 9".... but thankfully it doesn't cross that thin line. But it does veer close....

McLovin and the 2 Cops are the best part of the movie and the only characters who have any real personality. Evan (Michael Cera) is so dull, I stopped caring about him early on... which is a shame, cause I loved him on the brilliant ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT. Seth (Jonah Hill) is at the forefront of the movie, but lacks the charisma necessary to carry the film. This is due to the writing more than Hill himself, I think... Ok, 50/50. Plus, his character is a selfish dick and almost unlikeable. Each character has their moment(s), but in a way it just brings more attention to those flat moments.

In the end, the movie was funny with some truly hilarious moments. But overall, it lacked and I was disappointed. Then again, I was going in with very high expectations, hoping for an instant classic. The trailer was unfortunately better than the film as a whole.

Rating: B-

----
In a relate note, here's your own McLOVIN Fake ID....
simply add your pic and print!
"I am McLovin!!!"

NEW ALIENS NOVELS

Yay! A new ALIENS novel from Dark Horse Comics is coming out! And as an added bonus, its written by S.D. PERRY. She (Stephanie) is the daughter of Steve Perry who wrote some of the earlier (and kickass) ALIENS novels, some of which were co-written with S.D.

ALIENS: CRIMINAL ENTERPRISE comes out 01/16/08, which I will be buying. (synopsis)

I also found out that another ALIENS novel is coming out this october! It's called "ALIENS: STEEL EGG". How that got past me is beyond me. (link)

And here are some recommended S.Perry & S.D. Perry ALIENS novels:
THE "ALIENS SEQUEL" TRILOGY:
*EARTH HIVE
*NIGHTMARE ASYLUM
*THE FEMALE WAR

Originally a sequel to ALIENS (pre-Alien 3 Era), its set 10yrs after the events of ALIENS. Newt is 17 and in an Insane Asylum against her will. Hicks is a wounded, washed out soldier. A religious cult finds the Alien Homeworld and brings the aliens to Earth. Then it gets really cool from there! Unfortunately, the new printings have the names changed to better fit in with the post-Alien 3 continuity, so its no longer "Newt" and "Hicks", but 2 other characters with extremely similar histories as them. It still works, tho. You can also read the COMICS from which the novels are adapted; LINK.

Other kickass ALIENS novels:
*LABYRINTH
*GENOCIDE
*ALIEN HARVEST

LIST OF ALIENS NOVELS
Previous "New Aliens Novels" post
Previous "Hungarian Aliens Novels" post

JIMSMASH WILL RETURN . . .

BE BACK IN A FEW. . . JIMSMASH WILL BE INACTIVE
Thursday - Monday

Don't cry....
I will RETURN on TUESDAY 8/21
(until then, enjoy re-reading the archives!)

NIN YEAR ZERO..... THE SERIES

Whoa.... Trent Reznor's latest NINE INCH NAILS [concept] album, "YEAR ZERO", is set to be adapted into a television series. "Year Zero" is set in a totalitarian future America ruled by a right-wing religious dictatorship. The populace is plagued by mysterious visions, the country's drinking water might be drugged and global catastrophe is near. (link)

Hmmm, interesting news. Although bringing that concept to the screen was somewhat done recently with V FOR VENDETTA. I'll check this out if it ever goes all the way to being made. Although I've found his last 2 albums undesirable... which is something to be said because I didn't dig THE FRAGILE that much either. Regardless, I love Trent Reznor and am thankful he continues to create.

JIM'S FAVORITE NIN ALBUMS:
_PRETTY HATE MACHINE
_BROKEN
_DOWNWARD SPIRAL
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
* Who's digging the new buffed out Trent?
** Check out the orig comic V FOR VENDETTA; here or here.

JIMSMASH CASTING COUCH: BLACK PANTHER

Ever since I saw SERENITY, I've wanted CHIWETEL EJIOFOR to play the part of KING T'CHALLA aka THE BLACK PANTHER. In Serenity, Ejiofor proved he can play an intelligent, dignified character who can kick ass without breaking a sweat. I really do think he'd be perfect.

Fuck Wesley Snipes as T'Challa - are you kidding me?

No way. CHIWETEL EJIFOR all the way.

Make it so, Marvel.

Previous JimSmash Casting Couch:
* Nick Fury
* Deadpool
* Cobra Commander
Quasi-Casting Couch:
* Obi-Wan Kenobi - Age 45

CASTING RUMORS: THOR

Interesting... looks like KEVIN McKIDD may wield the mighty MJOLNIR and portray THOR in the live-action Marvel movie. McKidd was absolutely fantastic in HBO's ROME as LUCIUS VORENUS and I think he could pull it off. Sure, he doesn't have the phsyique of a Norse God, but he can act. So perhaps with some tricky photography (Lord of the Rings) and or prosthetics (300), he can pull the physical side off. Now, this is just a rumor and has yet to be confirmed.

and as a side note, McKidd kicked ass as Vorenus alongside TITUS PULLO played by RAY STEVENSON who was recently cast as FRANK CASTLE in the PUNISHER sequel. Sweet. VORENUS and POLLO are one of the most awesome duos EVER!

Check out some of their rad exploits together on ROME.
WARNING: Violence and gore.

SCI-FI TALENT AGENCY

Snagged from Jen at CasualSlack.

BILLY GRAHAM THE DEVIL ?

TIME magazine is taking some heat from conservatives over their latest cover which features BILLY GRAHAM. Many conservatives are outraged because they say the "M" behind his head looks like DEVIL HORNS which they accuse Time of creating intentionally. Time denies this and the battle ensues.

Too funny!

BETA RAY BILL DOES NOT HAVE LIPS

Check out this rad pic of BETA RAY BILL from the final issue of OMEGA FLIGHT, by SCOTT KOLINS! Pretty cool... except his head is jacked! What's up with the silly cartoony mouth, man?

I love BETA RAY BILL. For those who don't know, he's basically the alien Thor. WALT SIMONSON created him and caught lightning in a bottle with his design. There's really not much room for improvement or "artistic liberties." His head is super cool and often referred to as a "horse's head", which is wrong. If one was to go with the horse reference (sigh), I would allow "horse's skull".

S-K-U-L-L.
No lips.

So, free of charge, I am offering the below pic, which is REFERENCE to what he SHOULD look like. This reference pic is for any future Marvel artists who will be drawing BETA RAY BILL.

Beta Ray Bill does NOT HAVE LIPS!!!!!!
I SAY THEE NAY!!!!!!!

ROBO ELVIS LOVES YOU

Wow. Just....wow.
Forget those dancing coke cans and singing bubba bass gifts! Behold the KING ALIVE.... WowWee has made the creepiest thing you'll hopefully see this year, with the ELVIS ROBOT BUST. That's right, the singing robo-Elvis will sing for you... talk about his life with you....and even allow you to sing THROUGH him.

Click HERE to watch the ad.
Seriously, you MUST check it out.

Anyone else aroused, er, I mean creeped out?