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by G.L."I gotta say, I think I'm more upset that the mythology has been butchered than that Brian & Greg Walker just saw an opportunity to draw all their favorite old superheroes and jumped on it despite it making no sense."
Comparisons made:
Zeus (R: Jupiter) = Jor-El
Which makes Kal-El a bastard child and Jor-El's wife his sister (who kind of hated her life and her husband and all his illegitimate kids, but can you blame her?). Also potentially making every relative of Superman's either a sibling or banging his dad, which sounds crazy enough until you add comics logic and multiverses to the mix. Oh yeah, I went there.
Apollo (R: same thing, alt. Phoebus Apollo) = Kal-El
I don't think the writers know that Apollo was originally a god of archery, disease, and oracular prophecy via getting virgin priestesses hiiiiigh. The whole "sun" and "the arts" thing wasn't until much later, and even then, I don't know exactly what the connection between these two is meant to be. If Kal is going to be a bastard, doesn't it make more sense for him to be Herakles? Or are kids not being taught about adultery in school for fear it will make them have sex, or about Hercules for fear they will turn gay?
Athena (R: Minerva) = Wonder Woman
Any kid having problems with their Greco-Roman mythology shouldn't touch Wonder Woman comics at all. And with all the hyperchastity belt adventures and excessive moon-naming, you'd think Artemis or Diana would make more sense. But then the Apollo as Superman analogy doesn't work, does it?
Mars (Gk: Ares) = Captain America
This is hysterical on so many levels. Seriously.
Mercury (Gk: Hermes) = The Flash
And this is miserable logic. Also, Hermes was kind of a douche, but his animal symbol being the tortoise is pretty freakin' funny here.
Helios (R: Sol Invictus) ((this god was eventually combined with Apollo)) = The Human Torch
Wouldn't the Human Torch be more of an Icarus? This is the most accurate one either way... Except for the inevitable slashfic resulting with the "union" of Johnny Storm and/or The Vision with Clark Kent. *shudder* Side note! As a kid in school, we never studied Helios separately from Apollo, and most people don't know about the amalgamation of various religions into one applying to every religion ever, so, yeah. IRRELEVANCE FOR THE WIN!
Poseidon (R: Neptune) = Submariner
Ehhh. It's underwater, but Poseidon's a lot closer to Aquaman in spirit (and in crazy random animal powers), since Submariner is pretty consistently handed the crap end of the stick all the time. This was also glaringly obviously a throwback, because 1) it is speedo Namor and 2) preeetty sure kids know Aquaman more than the Submariner.
Vulcan (Gk: Hephaestus) = Thor
At first I was all "WHAAAAT" because Norse Mythology =/= comics =/= Greco-Roman mythology, and having a hammer isn't enough to make Vulcan = Thor (plus the thrown out, golden opportunity for a Star Trek reference), but then I remembered Vulcan's crippled, so I guess that's one thing? They really have nothing else in common whatsoever. Hephaestus was a depressed guy, and depressing to be around. Generally nobody liked him unless he'd invented something particularly useful, like the ergonomic office chair or the voice-activated smart house.
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Nice. Thanks, G.L.!
And I would also like to add that their drawing of Captain America is from Bryan Hitch's Ultimates. Ultimate Captain America? Foreshame!
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6 comments:
hahahah, pretty good. But one thing i don't get is the "studying Hercules will make you gay" part,...( being greek doesn't mean your gay :) )
Herc was gay/bi depending on your interpretation of terminology re:sexual orientation. Side effect of Greek culture, which was notoriously hedonistic and unconstricted sexually, is that a lot of the mythology ends up the same way. Romans were less down with that, but Roman mythology was largely a copy-paste job of the Greeks' stuff with different names.
Oh, and btw: word verification was "picep." Oddly apropo!
yea , I know,what your saying, but saying all Greeks were like that is like saying all Americans are
"notoriously hedonistic and unconstricted sexually",...(and fat),...it's a broad generalization that's been blown out of proportion. that's all. and in his stories, I've don't remember him ever sleeping with, or being romantic with a man,..in fact he was kind of the opposite.
-That's all,..just trying to stomp out stereotypes and over simplified "classifications"
I didn't say all Greeks were like that. I said Greek culture at that time was notoriously hedonistic (as in the Greeks were known for it, not that they were particularly excessive) and unconstricted sexually (both of which are relative statements), and this isn't to say that the entire population was like that, or is like that, or that this is the defining aspect of Greek culture, or anything other than what it, in fact, says: on the subject of sexytimes, Ancient Greece has a rep. Now, back to business.
Heracles actually slept with a lot of women and men. This is a fact of the mythology-- the Heracles character has numerous children, but literature including Plutarch's Eroticos also maintains that Heracles' eromenoi (male lovers) were beyond count. From here and here you can read more about it if you'd like. Some of the most widely known and specifically confirmed homosexual lovers of Heracles include Iolaus (the wapedia page has a photo of a ritual vessel with Heracles and Iolaus with Eros/Cupid standing between them), Hylas (3rd century CE addition), and Abderus; and the Spartans got in on the action with the addition of Elacatas (which goes to show you how much to trust Frank Miller on the topic of "Ancient Homosexuality").
...This is of course, all complicated by the fact that there is a comics character of Hercules. In both Marvel and DC. *headdesk*
word verif: homme
Cool post, GL!
Thanks for sharing, Jim!
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