Tuesday, December 18, 2007


Over at CRACKED.com, they did a nice post on the ORIGINS OF CHRISTMAS, which involved Pagan Orgies and Human Sacrifices. It is there that I discoverd THOR's connection to the Christmas Tree. Check it out:
Question: What customary Christmas holiday decoration bases its origins in ritualistic human sacrifice?

Answer: What, you can't read the heading? It's the Christmas tree, you lazy bastard.

Back in the pagan day, all inanimate objects were fair game for worship. Trees, rocks, mountains, funny shaped sticks that look like phalluses, whatever. So supposedly some of the Norsemen got it in their heads to worship a thunder god named Thor by ritualistically sacrificing humans and animals at the tree they designated "Thor's Oak."

Little did they know that Thor was too busy fighting the Incredible Hulk to notice the messy sacrifices.
*JimSmash Note: Hulk once fought Santa in "Incredible Hulk #378.

You know who did notice? Christian missionaries. They notice everything. So, one missionary of the Christian persuasion, Winfred (aka Saint Boniface), came upon an imminent sacrifice and sternly disapproved. He took an ax and chopped down Thor's freaking oak, which in itself should make him some sort of god by default. Of course, because of his boring ass monotheistic beliefs, instead of declaring himself the god of thunder, Winfred focussed on a tiny little fir tree that grew from the hacked trunk. And as all Cracked readers likely know, the fir trees' triangular shape represents the Trinity, and voila, a Christian tradition was born.

Click HERE to see the entire posting of the Origins of Christmas!

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