PIRATES 3 POSTERS

Disney has released images of the first round of teaser posters for PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN 3. Looks like Will finally comes out of the closet. Seriously, could that poster be any more homo-erotic? It looks like an SNL skit commercial for Gay Pirate Cologne.

Click here to see the others.

*Edited for overtly PC viewers.

ANIMATUS

Hyungkoo Lee's new exhibit "ANIMATUS" envisions cartoon characters from WB, Disney and others... as skeletons. The exhibit is now open in Turin, Italy through January. Damnit, I was just there a month ago!

Canis Latrans Animatus, aka Wile E. Coyote
---
More pics HERE.

SPIDERMAN 3: VENOM FIG

IMAGE REMOVED PER REQUEST OF SIDESHOW COLLECTIBLES -- WHO ARE HONORING THE LICENSOR'S REQUEST TO RETRACT VENOM IMAGES FOR THE MOMENT.

Sideshow Collectibles has released pics of their VENOM 12-inch figure for SPIDERMAN 3. Yep, looks like your basic, generic Venom... only scrawny... and like Carnage. Could be worse - they could have totally redesigned him, and made him look like a snowboarder.
More pics NOT HERE ANYMORE

RISING THREAT: JAKE GYLLENHAAL

This is an image from MSNBC.com's main webpage earlier today. Despite the serious subject matter, the picture cracked me up. More specifically, the man in the back, chilled out and dazed, completely oblivious to the man right in front of him screaming (yes, I know its a comp).

It made me think of last year's Pre-Oscars Party where Jake Gyllenhaal got shitfaced and appeared in several photographs - always him the background, making funny faces to the camera.

RANDOM FIND: CREEPY POPE

"So be it.....Jedi."

DARK TOWER: GUNSLINGER BORN ART

Check out some preview art of the upcoming comic "adaptation" of Stephen King's DARK TOWER: THE GUNSLINGER BORN! Co-written by King, Peter David & Robin Furth with gorgeous art by JAE LEE (pencils) and Richard Isanove (color)! Issue 1 comes out in February by Marvel Comics. Its the first of a seven issue mini-series, with a total of 30 issues for the entire series/story itself. Says Jae Lee, "This seven issue miniseries is not a strict adaptation of Wizard and Glass. It’s part of a larger, ongoing story. So the first miniseries is just the beginning. The first story arc is an expansion of the Wizard and Glass that fits within the frame of the prose novels. There are obviously story elements that will be familiar to fans of the Dark Tower as well as content that has yet to be explored."

I'm looking forward to this!

*Click on images to enlarge!*

OJS CEREAL

Man, for YEARS everyone said I was nutz-o for recaling a cereal called "OJ's" - Basically Kix, but orange flavored! The commercials had a cowboy riding on a large orange (spurs dug in the sides), herding oranges through the rugged west landscape like cattle, and occassionally branding them. "I don't remember that shit, Jim. You're on crack!" they said! Oh yeah? Well check it out:

FUCKING OJs CEREAL, BIOTCH!!!!Redemption tastes sweet... sweet as...

as... I dunno, as sweet as something!

DOUCHEBAG OF THE DAY: TSA

Today's "Douchebag of the Day" goes to The Transportation Security Administration (TSA). Why? Because they are trying to sell the idea of selling commercial space at airport security checkpoints. That's right, as you're taking off your shoes, putting your shit in the plastic containers and thinking "I'm never going to fly again", you'll now be assaulted with commercials and print ads! Yay! Yes indeedy, the TSA are already contacting airports to see if who'd like to generate some income! But wait, its already happening! LAX and some small airports in Tennessee are already placing ads in the bottom of those plastic trays at the screening machines. The Future is Now, and its owned by Corporations. Personally, I feel better knowing the TSA is spending their time, money and focus on generating money via advertising instead of, say, our safety. Now remember to empty all metal objects into the bin, put your liquids in 3oz clear containers....
and "Eat at McDonald's! I'm Lovin' It!"
Assholes.

Here is our very near future (seriously, they are actually developing this technology for this exact use):

CLERKS II: GEEK CONVERSATION

I saw CLERKS II the other day for the first time. It wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. Not as good as the first, obviously, but fun watching the characters interact with one another again. Here is a scene with Elias (employee), "Hobbit Lover" (customer) and Randal (employee):

Elias: [mumbling] "One ring to rule them all."
Hobbit Lover: ".......One ring to find them....."
Randal: Oh, Jesus....
Elias: [pulls a Ring necklace out of his shirt] "One Ring to bring them all."
Hobbit Lover: [pulls a Ring out of his pocket, in a dramatic voice] "And in the darkness, bind them!"
Elias: How many times?
Hobbit Lover: Well, three for Fellowship, two for Towers, four for Return.
Elias: Five for Return!
Hobbit Lover: Dude!!!
Randal: All right look, there's only one return, okay, and it ain't "of the King," it's "OF THE JEDI."
Hobbit Lover: Oh - "Star Wars geek".
Randal: Oh, I'm the geek? Look at you two whipping out your preciouses.
Elias: You'll have to excuse him, he's not "down" with the trilogy.
Randal: Oh, what the fuck happened to this world?! There's only one trilogy you fucking morons!!!

YVONNE DE CARLO PASSES AWAY

Aw, man...

YVONNE DE CARLO,who played
"Lily Munster" on the awesome, classic TV show "THE MUNSTERS" passed away today of natural causes.

She was 84.

ALIENS QUEEN CLIX

Here's a pic of the super neat ALIENS QUEEN Clix soon to be available in WizKids' HorrorClix line! Looks to run about $25. I think its safe to assume I shall own this.

Click here for my previous post about the Alien WARRIOR set.

CRAP YOUR PANTS WITH R2D2 COOLNESS ! !

Ok, so yeah, Lucas will make some pretty awful STAR WARS stuff (see earlier posts today, below) for us fans to lap up like such drones we are. But then he'll also throw us a bone and make something really really ridiculously fucking cool, like the FORCE FX Lightsabers (which I have yet to own any!! Argh!!) OR the coolest R2-D2 toy you could imagine!!!
(short of actually selling a real thinking droid, that is!)

Check out this bad mofo droid!!
The kickass R2-D2 Mobile Entertainment System!!

Yes, you read that correctly - MOBILE!!! The R2 unit features a built-in DVD/CD player, stereo speakers, integrated iPod dock, eleven R2-D2 sounds fx and a full-function remote control built into a Millennium Falcon! This puppy costs a measly $2500! Small change for pure happiness, me thinks!

BUT WAIT! (TV informercial voice) there's also the R2-D2 Communication Sytem which is a Skype phone/motorized webcam. This features a replica of Anakin's Lightsaber from ROTS that contains the controls for the R2 and the Skype phone, a wireless webcam and a web interface to view the camera image and control R2. This fella' costs $350.

Click here to learn more and buy!

And by "buy", I mean
"BUY JIM ONE NOW NOW NOW!"Check it out in action!

STAR WARS DISNEY RACERS

Disney has a toy car line called "DISNEY RACERS" in which Disney characters are made into race cars. Now, not to be outdone by Marvel in the whoring out of properties, Lucas and Disney team up once again and form the dreadful 2-headed Beast of Capitalism, adding STAR WARS characters to the line of Racer toys. Actually, this is really a step BACKWARDS for Lucas, since last years' SW/Transformers hybrid abominations were the worst of the worst..... no, scratch that.... the Disney characters in Star Wars outfits figures were the worst.... no, scratch that... the M&M Star Wars figures were the worst... jeez, everytime I think about it, there's another worse example of Lucas dragging my beloved Star Wars further down the pooper. Anyway, back to subject at hand.... check out the STAR WARS DISNEY RACERS.
The STORMTROOPER and VADER cars are my favorite. Yippee!!!
More of the line here.

UM, WHAT ? ?

MUMMY III DIRECTOR ?

Last september I posted* about news of another MUMMY movie with Brendan Fraser and my disdain for said news. Well it looks like MUMMY III will have a different director; ROB COHEN (Stealth, xXx, Dragon: Bruce Lee Story). This, I might actually see.... well, maybe... matinee. Cohen has a great knack for kickass action scenes and is by far a better director than Stephen "Van Helsing" Sommers (who's about to make a horrible horrible remake of FLASH GORDON. Damn you!!!!). Plus, Cohen's great to work with (although loong hours are usually a standard on his shows), so who knows... there's a chance it could end up on my plate.

So, quick overview:
Another Mummy fiasco - Bad.
Not same director - Good.
But another Mummy movie - blah.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
* I quickly & easily found that link through the new spiffy JimSmash search engine (to the right)! Try it out!
** Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story was actually quite good! Rent it today!
***Why the pic of Patricia Velasquez from the Mummy II? Because she was really the only good thing about those movies. Prrrrrrr......

WEIRD MARVEL PRODUCTS

Just when you think Marvel has hit the ceiling at whoring out their properties, they come back and kick you in the nuts proving you wrong.
I shit you not, here are 2 new Marvel products you can spend your hard earned cash on (and pick up chicks, too!)

1) MARVEL EDIBLES!!
That's right! Its the action figure you can eat! Assemble your character, place him/her on the battle-stick and have hours of fun! Then, when you're done fighting Dr Doom and your toy is riddled with dirt and germs, eat the sucker! YUM!!!

*Click on images to enlarge*

2) MARVEL COLOGNE!!!
Screw those X-Treme colognes you see on TV that make leagues of scantily clad loose women swarm after you! See what they do when you smell like the INCREDIBLE HULK! That's right, in addtion to other Marvel characters' odors (X-Men, Spiderman, Cpt America), you too can smell like the Hulk! Watch out ladies! Nerds now have a new courting weapon. Get some here to get some!

MY CURRENT TOP 10 COMICS

MY CURRENT TOP 10 COMICS I'M ENJOYING:

(my top 10 changes almost every month, sometimes weekly)

* THE WALKING DEAD: Greatest Zombie story so far! Why this hasn't been picked up to be an HBO series is beyond me! Month-in,Month-out its at the top of my reading list. Even when it slows down a bit, I'm still intrigued by the world Kirkman creates and love every character. This is the one book (that's currently still being published) that I recommend the most to non-comic book readers.

* CIVIL WAR: When it actually comes out, that is (its scheduling is fubar'd).... A botched fight against supervillains by B/C-list heroes ends with thousands of elementary kids dead. The US goverment, spearheaded by Tony "Iron Man" Stark, put through the "Superhero Registration Act" - you have powers, you have 2 choices; 1) Release your secret identity and work for the government as super agents including hunting down other heroes who don't comply, or 2) Live the rest of your life in a Gulog in the Negative Zone. Captain America goes underground, leading other heros, fighting the Act as the Resistance. The Marvel Universe is split in 2; A Civil War. I really miss the Marvel Universe of the 80s, but am happy that they are finally burying the horrible 90s and early Tweens. If anything, we're venturing into new territory which is exciting. My only "complaint" is Tony Stark is now a huge fucking asshole.... but then again, I suppose he always was an arrogant prick. haha! In addition, the Marvel Universe is coming dangerously close to becoming the Ultimates Universe in tone, which I don't want.

* JUSTICE: The "Super Friends" era DC characters approached with modern sensibilities and a pure passion for the material by Alex Ross, Jim Krueger and Doug Braithwraite. Gorgeous art, awesome story & storytelling! When these guys touch the DCU, it's golden!

* DAREDEVIL: Ever since the title was relaunched in 1998(?) under the guidance of Joe Quesada, its been one of my favorite titles every month! Not since the days of Frank Miller in the 80s have I enjoyed the character so much! And Brubaker/Lark, the new creative team post-Bendis/Maleev, are kicking total ass with the book! Forget the movie. This is great, dirty, urban crime noir!

* 52: The Year following last year's INFINITE CRISIS. Co-written by top writing talent, I'm loving this weekly comic! I can't wait to see where (and how) they take BLACK ADAM!

* CAPTAIN AMERICA: Another book by Brubaker (Daredevil). He's finally taken the character and book to a place where I always wanted it to go. Gone is the campy fun silly Superhero preaching kids to stay in school and drink their milk. Instead, we have the soldier from WWII in our Era still trying to fight the good fight for what is right. Spy espionage, WWII stuff, battles, gunfights, superheroing, supervillains... its all there. Tom Clancy meets Marvel!

* PUNISHER MAX: Written by Garth Ennis (Preacher), he's taken the character to the next level; hardcore! This 18-over only title allows the character to do what he does best without restrictions; blowing badguys the fuck up! Ennis' Frank Castle stays true to his origins as a Vietnam Vet. so he's older but still tough as shit. Gone are the white gloves and boots and scrapping against Spiderman and other costumes. Instead, he's taking on The Mob, Russian weapons dealers, Terrorists, and scumbags deserving punishment. The eerie white skull on the chest remains, which I wouldn't have it any other way!

* GREEN LANTERN CORPS: (Gleason art issues only) Kyle Rayner restored the GL Corps after over a decade of them being gone. What I like the most about this title is their handling of Green Lantern GUY GARDNER. Gone is the lame bowl haircut and arrogant-ass attitude. Instead, he's more like a badass marine who's fucking awesome at what he does, which is usually kicking ass as a Green Lantern. He's still arrogant (he IS Guy after all), but its more confidence than being a chode. Maker said it well with, "He's an intergalactic Jarhead kicking alien ass!"

* AMAZING SPIDER-MAN: I dropped the title after the abyssmal "The Other" storyline and the absolute unforgivable "Sins Past". But now the title has marched directly into the Civil War event with Spidey stuck right in the middle being pulled from all sides. First he chose to side with Tony, revealed his secret identity on TV, but has since regretted the side he chose. He's now on the run from the Government, fighting alongside Captain America & the Resistance. But now everyone knows who he really is, who is wife and aunt are and life in general is pretty shitty for the ole Webhead; exactly how it should be for Spidey! The RON GARNEY art is rocking, too! Plus, he's about to sport his black costume again! I'm giddy! Rumors are that Aunt May and/or MJ get killed soon. Secret Identities - there's a reason for em!

* X-MEN TITLES (hey, these have to count as 1 , otherwise....):
**** X-FACTOR: Peter David writes the best MADROX ever! Crime noir, mutants, private eyes and some great David humor. Again, HBO series someone?!

**** NEW X-MEN: I didn't want to like this book, especially with the newly added X-23 who I loathe... but they're writing a great fun comic that feels more like the old 80s Claremont stuff. Loving Paco Medina's art, too.... although I think he's leaving the book...

**** ASTONISHING X-MEN: Joss Whedon's love letter to the old Claremont/Byrne X-Days. Villains are lame, but the real fun are all those "moment"... you know the ones.

**** X-MEN: FIRST CLASS: A fun book of the first X-Men class, the original members; Cyclops, Jean, Beast, Angel and Iceman. I'm a big fan of that era so I'm enjoying this. I just wish it was written a bit more mature and they were in their actual old school costumes.

**** X-MEN: This book has sucked, in my opinion, since Jim Lee and Claremont left back in 1991(?). The last few years have been painful with Austen on writing chores and then the even-worse Milligan who achieved writing the worst X-Men ever, which is saying something for a franchise that's been around over 30yrs. Anyway, MIKE CAREY (Lucifer), joined by Chris Bachalo on art, is so far making this a must-read x-book. But he's riding a razor edge for me..... looks like Mystique is no longer gay, about to have a fling with Iceman and/or Iceman and Cannonball are about to reveal they're both gay and lovers. Completely out of character for all three anyway you slice it. Hopefully, Carey's just messing with us and will stay true to the characters. Overall, the book could be alot better, the characters could feel more like they should, but atleast its not the horrible horrible Milligan bullshit. Fingers crossed and in a good holdling pattern so far these past handful of months.

TODAY IS ERIN GREY'S BIRTHDAY

HAPPY BIRTHDAY,
ERIN GREY!!You were one of my first loves! Prrrrrrr....

-------------------------------------------------------
*Thanks to Andrew's blog for the info!

PORNSTARS IN A HALF SHELL

Someone sent this to me with the title "Wild Turtle Porn".
The dude's expression added to the 3rd turtle on the left....
maybe its the cold medz, but that cracked me up!

----------------------------------
*thanks, "Annonymous"