Tuesday, August 01, 2006


God hates me.
It's a simple as that.
He not only allowed AVP to be made, but is now allowing the sequel to actually be pushed through!

The title for AVP2 is "Survival of the Fittest". The plot has the predators time travelling to the 16th Century after the predalien hybrid (last seen bursting onto the screen at the end of AVP1) escapes through their time machine aboard their spaceship. The predalien hybrid, with its new hive of aliens, run amok and terrorize 16th Century Italy and France. The predators arrive shortly after in hot pursuit, but due to whatever circumstances, their technology and weapons are not functional. But thankfully the predators in pursuit befriend a young brilliant artist named Leonardo di Vinci, who is pulled into the battle between the species. A young female predator works closely with di Vinci, and based on his designs of flight, they design weapons and vehicles that lead to the aliens' capture. The final battle has the female predator and di Vinci in "flight suits" battling the WINGED predalien over the skies of Paris. Unfortunately, the female predator meets her demise by the predalien's multi-spiked tail as she sacrifices herself (and taking the predalien with her) to save the artist's life. It is then later revealed that she was in fact the inspiration for the Mona Lisa.

Ok, that's all made up bullshit. But you can see them making that, can't you? Scary.

Here's actually the REAL story: "The main focus of the film is a small town in the foothills of the Rockies. The Aliens somehow escape a Predator ship after it crashes, and run rampant in the small town. The Preds go after them. It showcases the PredAlien hybrid and the Preds show off some new hardware and Alien defeating armor and whatnot. The main Human character is a mid 20s male, just released from prison, and heading back to this small town to get his younger brother away from the same stuff that landed him in the pen in the first place. He uses the yardbird knowledge he got on the inside to fight back, and lead everybody." (source)

Ooh, not much better. Personally, I like my version better (kidding - I hate both). Either way, the lame lame predalien hybrid is in it. If I see a single fucking dreadlock on that alien, I'm going to lose it! Oh wait, I'm not seeing the film, so there's no risk. whew!


Anonymous said...

I just pissed myself, dude!

Andrew Glazebrook said...

Alien and Aliens,Predator and Predator 2 are all great !! Alien 3,Alien Ressurection and AVP have nice production values and FX at times but that's it !! I'd like to have those erased from my memory in a Total Recall style chair asap !!!

Anonymous said...

bichboom! that was really funny. i just got the "what's so funny?!?!" over the cubicle walls from everyone. if you have a large poster size version of that mona predator, i want it.

giggle, giggle, snork

Anonymous said...

holy shit, Jim! You totally had me going there for a second! Well done, my friend! Hahaha! And I agree, the real plot is just as terrible. In fact, yours sounds more fun and entertaining.

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

Too funny!