Wednesday, February 28, 2007

STAR TREK XI CASTING RUMORS

Thought I'd post the latest casting rumors on JJ Abram's upcoming STAR TREK prequel. IGN is reporting their insider(s) are saying the roles of KIRK, SPOCK, McCOY and SULU may be none other than MATT DAMON, ADRIEN BRODY, GARY SINISE and DANIEL DAE KIM (Lost). I'll go with em, seeing as I don't think this prequel should be made with those characters. Sorry, its just that Kirk &Crew are those original actors. Its a simple as that. I'd rather see a "prequel" showing CAPTAIN PIKE, and keep the design in realm with the original show; same costumes, ship, etc... albeit with some more budget... but still staying true to that look. And while I'm on a roll here, I plead to JJ to please remember that Star Trek is about SCIENCE and IMAGINATION. It's not about sexiness and action. While it can have those elements, at the forefront its about a SCIENCE vessel exploring strange new worlds, seeking out new life and new civilizations, and boldly going where no one has gone before - something the later ST incarnations forgot.

SCIENCE.
IMAGINATION.

Anyway, that's the latest casting choice rumors and it could be worse,
so whatever.
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*apologies, I wanted to post this earlier today, but was too busy. Plus it takes time to find those "perfect" images and put together. No one appreciates the art of JimSmash. heh.

WEEKEND AT I-GIVE-UP

Because no one demanded it, "THE NEXT WEEKEND AT BERNIES"!! Yes, that's a 3rd Bernie's movie for those of you keeping track. This time its set in a SKI LODGE. I was wrong when I said, "Imagination is Dead".

TILT: THE BATTLE TO SAVE PINBALL

There's a new Documentary coming to dvd about the last days of the pinball company WILLIAMS and their last ditch effort to keep up with video games. What's really cool is I helped pick up Jason's own REVENGE FROM MARS Pinball a few weeks ago! It really does kick ass and its a shame they didn't make more of these kinds of pin. You lucky bastard!!
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"IN 1998, Coin-Operated games were in dire straits. Arcades were extinct, having long ceded their popularity to home video games. Yet pinball remained an experience you couldn’t get at home. The pinball designers at Williams of Chicago, Illinois—the world's largest manufacturer of pinball—realized this; they knew that with a little rethinking, pinball could once again succeed.

In a short eighteen months, management planned to abandon pinball in favor of the booming video slot machine business...but not before granting their designers just one last shot at saving the game they loved. And Williams' designers did come up with something amazing: a brand new kind of pinball machine that fused new video technology with classic pinball gameplay, preserving what was great about pinball, yet opening up a whole new world of game possibilities.

TILT: The Battle to Save Pinball is a documentary that tells the story of the extraordinary Pinball 2000(tm) machines built by Williams in an effort to save not just the company, but the product that had defined coin-operated entertainment for eighty years.

Though at its heart a human story, TILT showcases the near-lost art of pinball design like nothing before it. Here's a scene from the movie with designers George Gomez and Pat Lawlor describing how the new Pinball 2000 machine Revenge From Mars differed from its predecessor, the "conventional" Attack From Mars."


SLINKY CHAIR

Click HERE to check out a neat folding "Slinky" chair!
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*thanks, Maker!

VENTURE BROS: SEASON 3 & 4

YES!!!! The VENTURE BROS have been renewed for a THIRD season!! With a 4th season most likely to be attached to that deal! Look for Season 3 around Spring 2008. Wait, what? 2008? NOOOOO!!!!!!!!


THE END OF BATTLESTAR

Good news is, Battlestar Galactica has not only been renewed for a 4th season, but the initial 13 new episodes ordered has been extended to 22 episodes!

Bad news is, those xtra episodes are in order for them to end the show. Which I guess is a good thing. "They Cylons have a plan" and that plan can be milked out for only so long. While I don't want the show to end, I think having it as one nicely wrapped up story will be cool. It's already been feeling like "The Weekly Adventures Aboard Galactica", so I'm ready for the final showdown/reveal or whatever to play out.

But before they end it, GIVE US SOME OLD SCHOOL CYLONS, MAN!!!! In the first episode Number Six says they are still around and that they still have their uses. LET'S SEE EM!!!!!

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

OH DEAR LORD! BEES!

Uh oh! Your backyard playset is infested with a swarm of bees!
You have kids and you, yourself, are allergic to bee stings!
What to do? What to do?!
How about throwing a 40lb trailer hitch for a Dodge Caravan at em!That didn't work? How about.........
Click HERE for asinine hilarity (and bee tragedy)
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*thanks, Jason!

IRON MAIDEN PINBALL

"SCREAM FOR ME, JIMSMASHERS!"

Check out this awesome custom-made IRON MAIDEN pinball. I want one. Although, personally, I would have gone with a different backboard... mabye "Live After Death" or "Somewhere In Time." Still kicks ass! Click HERE to see more!

JOE THEISMAN'S LEG BREAK

Hey, Skins Fans! Remember seeing this live? Oh man!!!!

BLADE RUNNER UMBRELLAS

Over at Woospace,
Woo has posted a link for LIGHTSABER UMBRELLAS!!
Go check it out here!

SILVER SURFER POSTER

Knowing that outside of the 5 people who enjoyed the first Fantastic Four movie, no one is going to pay for a turdtastic sequel, the Studio has for once done something smart and are using the SILVER SURFER to promote the film. From the advertising thus far, you'd think it was just a Silver Surfer movie. Cool poster (and the big billboards I've been seeing around town are awesome), but its a real shame that in addition to ruining the FF they are about to poop on the Surfer. Although, the teaser trailer was cool... but so was the Ghost Rider teaser. I'm going now.

SPEAK, THE HUNGARIAN RAPPER

Monday, February 26, 2007

HOSTEL II POSTER IS CLASSY





Yay!
Sex & Brutal Violence mixed!
My favorite combination!
*ugh*

GREAT SNAPE DEBATE

There's a new Harry Potter book coming out about SNAPE. No, its not another novel in the mythos (sorry to get you excited). THE GREAT SNAPE DEBATE will examine Severus Snape, the traitorous Hogwarts instructor (although I'm a firm believer he's not a traitor at all). The book is described as a "massive Snape evaluation and character dissection".

Available exclusively at Borders and Waldenbooks, date to be announced soon.

JAMES CAMERON FINDS JESUS

James Cameron and Simcha Jacobovici have produced a documentary which claims to have found the remains of Jesus of Nazareth.

They claim to have put together DNA and archaeological evidence, as well as evidence found in biblical studies proving the coffins belong to Jesus and his family. Reports say the documentary also shows Jesus to have fathered a son.

Cameron has scheduled a press conference for today (Monday), in New York, where he plans to reveal the coffin and 90 minute documentary.

Christians are, of course, livid.
But when are they not?

GHOST RIDER DEFIES LAWS OF TASTE

GHOST RIDER pulled in an estmated $19.7 mllion over the weekend (its 2nd weekend), pushing its total to $78.6 million. Did no one read my review last week? Hel-lo!!

OSCARS CONGRATS

Anyone watch the Oscars last night? I was unfortunately layed out sick in bed and missed em. However, there were a few things I felt needed mentioning upon reading of the night's awards:

Congratulations to both MARTIN SCORSESE and ILM for their Oscar wins last night! This is the first Oscar for Scorsese after being nominated 5 previous times in his career. You should have won for GOOD FELLAS, but grabbing one for THE DEPARTED is quite nice! And to ILM for Best Visual Effects. I must say your DAVY JONES was quite impressive and you deserved the statue. This is ILM's first Oscar since 1994, for Forrest Gump.

And the winner for the WTF? moment, which further confirmed what a joke the Oscars are: HAPPY FEET winning Best Animation.

Friday, February 23, 2007

JUSTICE LEAGUE MOVIE ?

So Warner Bros is now thinking about making a JUSTICE LEAGUE movie since all that cold hard cash from Batman Begins and Superman Returns has been pouring in. Reportedly, they have hired the duo-team that wrote "Mr and Mrs Smith" to pen the script. I really don't think this film could be anything but blah. For one, a studio is simply not going to spend the ridiculous amount of money it would take to do it justice. Secondly, there's not many directors who I think are capable of tackling such a huge movie while handling the material properly. Like any comic-based movie, I think it should go full CG. Somewhere between a Pixar film and say Final Fantasy. It being animated would allow the action scenarios to be larger than life like the comics, something that is very difficult for live action to accomplish with the current production system in place of churning out films in Hollywood. Plus, you can cast some great voice actors and have the characters transcend some lame casting choice by a casting director who has no idea what they're doing. No word if WB would want to cast Christian Bale and Brandon Routh to portray Batman and Superman. (source)

LIVE ACTION JLA:


ANIMATED JLA:

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*thanks, Eric & Maker!

PRIMATE WAR BEGINS

Chimpanzees in Senegal have been observed making and using wooden spears... to hunt... other primates! The Primate War has begun folks! We all knew it was coming. It's only a matter of time we'll be watching huge Primate battles on National Geographic. And then the eventual Primate raid on villages. Make no mistake, this war will spill into our world soon enough. Me, I'm going to go buy stock in whatever company is making Monkey Armor and Weapons.

On-site JimSmash reporter Maker had this to say, "AND SO THE PROPHECY BEGINS!!!! QUICKLY, FREEZE CHARLTON HESTON NOW!!! HE"S OUR ONLY HOPE!!!!" (source)

WEAVER IS DONE WITH ALIENS

Sigourney Weaver recently said an in an interview don't expect anymore "Alien" films. "I love the character, but I think the monster, once they did the other film (AVP), which I never saw, but that really maxes our monster out" says Weaver. (source)

I agree that there shouldn't be anymore ALIEN films. They've run that wonderful series into the ground, then took a steaming dump on it In addition, if they were to make more ALIEN films, I'd rather them not have Weaver in it. I mean come on, how many ALIEN adventures can Ripley have? Its like John McClane running into terrorists every Christmas. Enough!!!

Which reminds me to give another warm "Fuck You" to FOX for Alien: Resurrection, AVP and the upcoming AVP2.
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*thanks, Scott!

KISS ALBUM ART

The 2 most striking KISS album covers from my childhood... ...for 2 very different reasons.

ART ASYLUM TRANSFOMERS

ART ASYLUM has revealed the first wave of their new line of Transformers busts and sculptures! So far we'll have Optimus Prime, Megatron, Starscream, Soundwave, Bumblebee, Grimlock and a huge kickass Omega Supreme!! I think they look pretty neat and will, of course, buy them. And by "buy" I mean "wish I could buy them and cry myself to sleep at night".

Click on the images to enlarge for a closer look!

MOGWAI FRIDAY

HERO OF THE DAY: "NICK FURY"

Today's "Hero of the Day" goes to "NICK FURY" (real name withheld in news story). Fury, a 70-something retired U.S. Serviceman, was walking with his fellow retiree friends & tourists in Costa Rica when a few 20 yr old muggers jumped out with guns and knives. Fury not only fought them off, but put one of the muggers in a headlock and then broke his neck, killing him!! The other muggers fleed quickly thereafter, no doubt to buy new pants and rethink their career plans.

Thursday, February 22, 2007

I WANT TO LIVE IN SNAKE MOUNTAIN

Check out this rad house!
I want one. But I'd mod it out so it looked more like Skeltor's Lair: SNAKE MOUNTAIN!!!

I had Snake Mountain. I had to do yard work for the entire summer to get it. Some life lesson Dad was trying to teach me. *shrug*

The artwork on the box was way cooler than the actual lame playset. I wanted something to go with the bitchin Castle Grayskull, but in the end I just go disappointment. I guess I did learn a life lesson - never judget a toy by the artwork on the cover. Thanks, Dad!

MANIMAL LUV

This is a story of a man who had sex with a horse while his friends filmed it while masterbating. Apparently a horse schlong rammed up into your intestines is not a good thing and said man died. But the footage lived on via the internet (youtube, etc) and now his story is a major motion picture; ZOO. Here's the poster. Hey, atleast its not a remake or sequel.

*Click on image to enlarge and check out the classy eye reflection*

NEW NIN ALBUM - COMING SOON

Trent Reznor is set to release a new NINE INCH NAILS album April 17, entitled "YEAR ZERO". The first song, "Survivalism" released is now getting radio play. I've only heard it a couple of times, but so far I'm digging it. Its a bit diff't from his previous works, which isn't necessarily a bad thing as his last two albums have been lacking. I still cannot warm up to "WITH TEETH" (it has its moments, but overall its blah and overtly simple in its structure). Anyway, you can check out the new song on MySpace. It feels like one foot is in "Perfect Drug" era NIN and another in a weird industrial-punk-esque boot. There's a 'blip' used throughout the song which I'm not digging. I appreciate the effort, but in the end I find it distracting and slightly annoying. Regardless, I plan on listening to the song often & will run to the music store April 17. I love you, Trent.

Here's the song list of "YEAR ZERO":
01. hyperpower!
02. the beginning of the end
03. survivalism
04. the good soldier
05. vessel
06. me, i'm not
07. capital g
08. my violent heart
09. the warning
10. god given
11. meet your master
12. the greater good
13. the great destroyer
14. another version of the truth
15. in this twilight

KFED IS AN ANGEL FROM HEAVEN

I recall years ago seeing Britney Spears hit the scene. It was cute and I was done with her about a minute into her first video. But she stayed and got more annoying. So annoying that I prayed to the Gods to smite her, but they didn't listen and she continued to stay in our pop culture, even managing to climb near the "top". My clenched fist of anger raised high towards the heavens. But then one day, the Gods sent me an angel. His name was Kevin Federline and he was glorious. Within a year, he single handedly destroyed Britney's career, body and life - all by doing nothing except being a total loser. Blessed be KFed. I tend to stay the fuck away from celebrity news (its bad enough living in the same town with them), but lately I'm finding myself absolutely loving watching Britney further self destruct. This week alone she flipped out, shaved her head, checked herself into rehab, then checked herself OUT of rehab the NEXT DAY, and went on a rampage on KFed's car. Look at her attacking his SUV with that umbrella! Woo Hoo! Wait, it gets better. After her tantrum, she was reported waiting outside his house for 45minutes until her MOM came and picked her up and returned her to the Rehab facility. All of this is occuring the same week of their court hearings for custody of their seedling spawns. Thank the Gods, for giving us KFed.

REMAKE HELL / HOLLYWOOD BLOWS

MAY 2008.

EMPIRE MAG: SILVER SURFER

It's no secret I hated the Fantastic Four movie and would like nothing more than to ban Tim Story from ever making movies in the future. I normally wouldn't even bother posting about the upcoming sequel, but I'm a huge fan of the SILVER SURFER. Yes, he will fuck him up, but right now, I'm digging the visuals that are being released. So here's the cover to EMPIRE magazine, which the Surfer graces.

HERO OF THE DAY: JAMES VAN IVEREN

Today's "Hero of the Day" goes to 39 yr old JAMES VAN IVEREN, who upon hearing a woman screaming for help and thought were sounds of rape, grabbed his cavalry sword (a family heirloom) and burst down his upstairs neigbor's door, screaming "WHERE IS SHE?!" as he thrust the sword at his neighbor... who was alone in the apartment watching a porno. Iveren, who lives with his mother, says he did not call the police because he does not have a telephone. (source)

HERALDS OF GALACTUS

12 HOMER QUOTES

12 OF THE FUNNIEST HOMER SIMPSON QUOTES:

* Operator! Give me the number for 911!

* Oh, so they have internet on computers now!

* Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!

* Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.

* I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.

* Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.

* Well, it's 1 a.m. Better go home and spend some quality time with the kids.

* Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene.'

* Marge, don't discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals! Except the weasel.

* Doughnuts. Is there anything they can't do?

* You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons.

* Lisa, if you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.

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*thanks, Maker!

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

GEORGE TAKEI LOVES TIM HARDAWAY

Sorry, this didn't post correctly yesterday....

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*thanks, Mr Legs!

OPTIMUS PRIME LIKES NEWSPAPERS

No, that's not a pic of Prime squeezing out an energon log. The Newspaper Association of America (NAA) has enlisted OPTIMUS PRIME to aide in their mission to promote the importance of reading newspapers! (source)

ART OF GIJOE

The Art of GIJoe is a neat virtual museum of GIJoe toy artwork; figure cards and vehicle boxes. They showcase those items from 1982-1985, pretty much the good era of Joe. Click HERE to check it out!

CIVIL WAR #7

For those of you who care, CIVIL WAR #7 hit comic shelves today.
Finally! sheesh.

RUMBLE & FRENZY

And the hits just keep on a-comin!!!
When you go buy that kickass SOUNDWAVE MP3 player and ULTRA MAGNUS iPOD Deck (link),, be sure to pick up the transforming RUMBLE & FRENZY figures who are also working EARPHONES! It's like someone reached into me brain and manifested me dreams!

You can preorder them HERE, for $36 (July 2007 release)
ALSO, you can [pre]order those REVOLTECH figures, Soundwave MP3 player, etc THERE as well!! Woo Hoo!!!

UPDATE: Thanks to SheilaD for finding out you can buy the Revoltech PRIME on Amazon for $20, available now!! LINK.

TAKARA TRANSFORMERS RULE

And you thought yesterday's Revoltech Transformers post was cool.... well check these bad boyz out!!

First, we have a cool ULTRA MAGNUS figure complete with trailer. It gets better... the trailer transforms into a working iPOD docking station with speakers. "YOU GOT THE TOUCH!!"
You can preorder him now, for $145, HERE.
Second, we have the next TAKARA figure: SOUNDWAVE!!!
Not only does he looks awesome and transforms into the cassette player we know and love, but.... wait for it..... he is also a WORKING MP3 PLAYER!!! Its ok, I wet myself, too, when I first heard.
You can preorder him now, for $95, HERE. Race ya!!!
Click HERE for my Takara Megatron post,
which also includes the other Takara Transformers!

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

REVOLTECH TRANSFORMERS

There's a new line of Transformers Generation 1 figures coming out by REVOLTECH, and they are oh-so pretty!

From what I've gathered, there's only 3 so far, all 6-inches tall; PRIME (out now), MEGATRON (soon/now) and an exclusive ULTRA MAGNUS (soon/now).

Holy shit do they look incredible!!!


*Click images to enlarge & freak out!!!*
(Prime also comes with the Aubobot Matrix of Leadership!)Click HERE for my Takara Megatron post!

VAN DICKHEADS

VAN HALEN is back... sort of. Original bassist Michael Anthony apparently had enough of the two VH brothers and their gigantic egos and left the band, going to play with ex-VH singer Sammy Hagar. To which fucktwat Eddie stated, "They're billing themselves as the other half of Van Halen. My brother is the other half of Van Halen. They're out there playing all my songs. It doesn't bother me. It just makes them a cover band." I guess Van Halen was never a band, it was just two assholes who hired out a singer and bassist.

Anyway, the power of the mighty dollar has brought David Lee Roth back to the band..... again for the... er... I've lost count, time. And replacing Anthony on bass, and ensuring full power of the band, Eddie has brought on his son, WOLFGANG VAN HALEN, to play bass. First, I want to cock punch Eddie for naming his son such a pretentious name. Second, is there anything out there I WOULDN'T rather see than this shitty "reunion" and tour? Maybe Ghost Rider is still playing in the theaters.

GALACTICA ON FUMES ?

Anyone else having the fear that BATTLESTAR GALACTICA has jumped the shark and is currently running on fumes? Last week's episode revolved around flashbacks with Adama's ex-wife and then Chief & Cally being stuck in an airlock. The week before that was crazy killer doctor in the Refugee camp. Before that has been the ongoing agonizing bullshit soap opera love square between Apollo, Starbuck, Dee and Sam.

We haven't seen a real CYLON in weeks! What gives? Part of Galactica's success was that it was full story being played out. I don't want to see "the further adventures of" where they have "on a very special Galactica...." Come on, if you guys aren't going to continue on with the main story, then don't make anymore episodes. If I want to see crappy, weekly sci-fi ala Love Boat, I'll go watch any of the last 3 incarnations of Star Trek. Bah!

ATHF POSTER

The new Aqua Teen Hunger Force movie poster has been revealed!No word yet if Boston has declared Martial Law.

SIMPSONS MOVIE TRAILER 3

F-U-N-N-Y-!

BRITNEY SPEARS RUN BARTER TOWN

So Britney Spears shaved her head and is now regretting it, walking around with a wig. This reminds me of Parenthood when Keanu Reeves and whats-her-name give each other really stupid hair cuts. "Whoa, what. were. we thinking? uh-heh!" Personally, I think she should have kept that bit of hair in the back and gone all fucking Mad Max. Why am I posting on this hillbilly waste of space?

APOLOGIES TO ALL SHE-HULK FANS

The other day I posted about how Nicholas Cage was trying to get a SHE-HULK movie made and how he wanted EVA MENDES to star. In that post, I said she could work. Well, after seeing Ghost Rider, I would like to retract that statement and offer my deepest, sincerest apologies to all She-Hulk fans out there! I guess I was thinking of previous Mendes roles that I have seen (which are limited... Training Day... um...) and was not myself when I posted. I am truly sorry for causing any unneeded stress and anger.

Please accept my apologies for being an idiot