SUPER HEROINES AD

Gotta say, that's a pretty good WONDER WOMAN... just have her hit the gym/weights abit to be more "athletic" than "supermodel".
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*thanks, Tony!

JIMMY SICK

Hey, Everyone. Sorry for the lack of posts yesterday and today. Whatever's been running around here infecting everyone lately finally caught me. I was layed out completely yesterday. Barely up and running today on fumes. Also I think I've become addicted to Tylenol's yummy "Sore Throat" elixir. Deliciously blue!' I'll try to post some stuff, but please bare with me as I slowly heal.

JIMSMASHERS ASSEMBLE ! !

TOY OF THE DAY: AVENGING UNICORN

TOP 10 COOLEST WEAPONS

TOP 10 COOLEST WEAPONS:

10) GHOSTBUSTERS' PARTICLE BEAM PROTON PACK & GUN:
"You know, it just occurred to me that we really haven't had a successful test of this equipment... I blame myself... So do I... Well, no sense in worrying about it now... Why worry? Each of us is carrying an unlicensed nuclear accelerator on his back."



9) BLADE RUNNER PISTOL: One of the best aspects of the film was Deckart's awesome hand cannon pistol! Classic in design (read: not too sci-fi futuristic) and looks like it could break your wrist with its recoil if you're not too careful!

8) STAR TREK PHASER
(Classic Series): Cool retro design, great sound effects and used by the raddest crew of the Federation; James T. Kirk's Crew! In addition, it can split into 2 diff't phasers.





7) KRULL GLAVE: The chosen weapon of Colwyn - a boomerang-type of spinning, five-clawed throwing disc that returns to the wielder's hand. "In the fortress you will need more than men and swords. You will need the power of the glave!!"

6) INFINITY GAUNTLET: One of the most powerful artifacts in the Marvel Universe. The Gauntlet consists of the six Infinity Gems mounted on a gold glove. Each Infinity Gem grants its bearer complete mastery over one aspect of the Universe: Time, Space, Power, Soul, Mind & Reality. With possession of all six Infinity Gems, the bearer can have complete omnipotence over the Universe, though not necessarily the omniscience required to effectively wield that power.


5) BRUCE LEE: A living weapon himself! "A fight is not won by one punch or kick. Either learn to endure or hire a bodyguard. Forget about winning and losing; forget about pride and pain. Let your opponent graze your skin and you smash into his flesh; let him smash into your flesh and you fracture his bones; let him fracture your bones and you take his life. Do not be concerned with escaping safely - lay your life before him."

4) THOR'S HAMMER, MJOLNIR: The favored weapon of Thor, God of Thunder, son of Odin! Mjolnir is the most fearsome weapon in the arsenal of the Norse pantheon. Mjolnir can be used both offensively and defensively. Thor often uses the hammer as a physical weapon, with almost nothing being capable of withstanding a hammer blow or throw; it is capable of toppling giants and entire mountains with a single blow. Mjolnir translates into English as "That Which Smashes." Other offensive capabilities include creating vortexes; emitting mystical blasts of energy; controlling electro-magnetism; molecular manipulation and generating the awesome Geo-Blast; Anti-Force and God Blast.Defensively Mjolnir can also be used to block attacks, absorb and redirect energy and by being spun in an arc repel all attacks, be they physical or energy-based. Thor also uses Mjolnir as a means of transportation by hurling the hammer and gripping the thong on the shaft, being pulled along by the force created. Once airborne, Thor can change direction, speed, and altitude.Upon one of its sides is the inscription "Whosoever holds this hammer, if he be worthy, shall possess the power of... Thor."

3) GREEN LANTERN RING: A Green Lantern ring can generate a variety of effects and energy constructs, sustained purely by the ring wearer's strength of will. The greater the user's willpower, the more effective the ring. The limits of the power ring's abilities are not clearly defined and it has been referred to as "the most powerful weapon in the universe" on more than one occasion. Across the years, the ring has been shown capable of accomplishing anything within the imagination of the ring bearer. Often the rings are used to form solid-light constructs, the power and size of which are limited only by the ring-bearer's willpower.

"In brightest day, in blackest night,
no evil shall escape my sight!
Let those who worship evil's might,
beware my power... Green Lantern's light!

2) M-41 COLONIAL MARINE PULSE RIFLE: From ALIENS, the best movie ever made. "Here, let me introduce you to a close personal friend of mine. M-41A 10mm pulse-rifle, with over and under 30mm pump-action grenade launcher." The coolest weapon ever. I'd place it at #1, but as a card-carrying Dork, I must leave that spot for.....

1) LIGHTSABER: "This is the weapon of a Jedi Knight. Not as clumsy or as random as a blaster, but an elegant weapon for a more civilized age."



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*This list was created quickly. Did I forget something obvious?
Post it in the comments section!

BLACK SNAKE MOAN POSTER

er, WTF?

This is the poster for the new movie
"BLACK SNAKE MOAN",
starring Samuel L. Jackson and Christina Ricci.

That is all.



*Click image to enlarge*

300 POSTERS

4 new posters for the upcoming movie "Frank Miller's 300" have been released. Pretty cool looking, although they feel out of place in terms of the subject matter. I dunno, maybe it fits since its an adaptation of a graphic novel. *shrug* The super plan text annoys me, tho. Regardless, I'm really pumped to see this!

300, based on Miller's Graphic Novel of the same name, is a retelling of the ancient Battle of Thermopylae in which King Leonidas and 300 Spartans fought to the death against Xerxes and his massive Persian army.

Here's the Trailer if you've missed it:


Click here and here for comic-to-screen comparisons.

Click here to buy the graphic novel
(or buy it at your local comic shop!)

SEARCH JIM SMASH ! !

I am proud to announce a NEW feature to JIMSMASH!! "But, how could you possibly improve upon JimSmash, Jim?" you exclaim?! I know, I know... I tend not to mess with perfection, but I also like to mix things up a bit. Behold a handy-dandy SEARCH feature that will let you search for awesome past JimSmash posts! Check it out to the right and explore all those many fascinating, witty, funny, awesome, witty (did I already say 'witty'?) posts from days of yore!!!! Want to see all the "Douchebags of the Day"? Or how about all my many "Top 10" lists? Everything Star Wars? No problem! I'm telling you, we're talking about hours, DAYS, of pure fun here, folks! Give it whirl!!

A thousand Thanks to BryDev, the Code Master!!!
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*yes, you could always search by using the very-top-left blogger search field, but I bet you never even noticed it until now, eh?!

MARS ATTACKS !

In 1962, Topps released a delightful series of trading cards called "MARS ATTACKS!!" Each card gave you a snippet of the carnage of a Martian invasion in gloriously violent and gory detail! The cards were only on stores' shelves for a short time (pulled by angry parents??) but survived in a collector's cult classic manner for over 30 years. Tim Burton adapted the cards into a movie in 1996. Many thought it was merely a ID4 ripoff and/or was too campy/goofy. Personally, I thought it was brilliant and was one of 2 people in the theater who "got it" and was laughing my ass off. One of Burton's few gems, I think.

I've posted all the super cool cards HERE. Enjoy!

100 WORST MARTIAL ART MOVIE NAMES

Check out this list of the top
100 Worst Martial Arts Names!

Superb names like "Ninja Checkmate", "Dirty Ho", "The Black Dragon Revenges the Death of Bruce Lee", "Golden Swallow!"....

and the absolute best, I shit you not:
"Black Jim Smashes All"!!!!!

Click here for all 100 movies!

LISA & NEPTUNE COMICS

Lisa's cool comic store NEPTUNE COMICS has a brand new spiffy looking updated website (thanks to the hard work of KellyAnn)!! Check it out at NEPTUNECOMICS.COM

Instead of dark colors and a multitude of information jammed into 5 pages, we've got much cleaner pages - and more of them, so it should be easier to navigate... And, if you are not a member of our email list and would like to be, there's a sign-up page on the site too. We send out a weekly briefing of what's going on in the store, highlights of comics coming out that week, and sometimes there are money saving coupons too. So, if you shop at the store you might want to get into our email list right away.

In addition, check out Lisa's blog SEQUENTIALLY SPEAKING. There she talks about comics; news, rumors, movies, the Industry as a whole, and more! Check out this great pic she posted of the new Moscow Defense Intelligence HQ. Yes, I do believe that is a Bat Symbol! Bookmark it now!--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*Apologies to Lisa for not promoting the blog sooner. Seriously, Lisa, you should have been harping on me all last year about this!

VISIT SMALLVILLE

"Somebody saaaaave meeeeeee.....!!!!"

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Wanna be on SMALLVILLE?
Well, Warner Bros is giving you the chance, baby!!!

If you think you're the Ultimate SMALLVILLE fan, you have 15 seconds to show the world what you've got! The creators of SMALLVILLE and Warner Bros. are searching for the Ultimate SMALLVILLE FAN to be featured in the Season 6 DVD release! We are inviting YOU to enter and to share the news with your readers. Create a 15 second video proving you’re the Ultimate SMALLVILLE FAN for your chance to be a part of the Ultimate Fan featurette on the SMALLVILLE Season 6 DVD! We’re looking for the most creative, most exciting and most fascinating fans in the country. Show your superhuman speed and get your submissions in by 1/17.

Check out the contest here: http://www.ultimatesmallvillefan.com

Ok, Maker. We all expect to see you on the show!

(I'd try for it if it was a scene with Chloe. Prrrrrr....)

SILVER SURFER IN ACTION

I truly loathed the Fantastic Four movie. I could write a multi-volume book series on why. And I wanted to cry in sadness when I heard the Silver Surfer was going to be in the sequel. Which was after I stopped crying upon hearing they were making a sequel. I love the Silver Surfer and he's one of my all-time favorite comic characters. I just didn't want to see them fuck him up; hanging tubular 10 duude and shit. Well, here's the teaser trailer. While unfortantely the same shitty director is back, as well as the shitty cast (Johnny's ok I guess), this teaser looks pretty neat. From what little of the Surfer is shown, he looks and MOVES more-or-less like I'd want him to. Fingers crossed on Galactus....

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*thanks, Mr Legs!

MANGA DICTIONARY

Apparently this is a Japanese Manga dictionary of American words (perhaps just for slang?). Here is the page for "Fuck." Cute. Um, wait... what does the example used in a sentence say?!!! (top)

DOUCHEBAG OF THE DAY: CNN's SITUATION ROOM

I've wanted to put Wolf Blitzer and his assinine Situation Room as Douchebag of the Day for months now. If you've ever had the misfortune to watch some of this craptastic programming, you will see in full form a perfect example of how and why our mainstream news media of 24/7 coverage is utter garbage. I rank him and his show just above any Geraldo program. Except its worse, because its on CNN and sold as if its trusted news, whereas with Geraldo you know its a fucking joke anyway and kick back and laugh.

Anyway, soon after Barrack Obama has thrown his hat into the presidentual election for 2008, The Situation Room had a type on screen asking "Where's Obama?" (instead of "where's Osama?"). Way to go, dickheads. I can't wait until they start using Barrack's middle name all the time (which is "Hussein").

Look, this really has nothing to do with political sides here. Its about professionalism and responsibility. I can let something like this slide (maybe) if it was your yokel local newstation, but CNN? Come on, guys. You know better and something like THIS comes down to either 2 things: 1) Personal political shit, or 2) Complete ineptness by those involved putting the news show together. I'm going for both, myself. If I wanted to see political stabs like this, I'd watch The Daily Show or FOX News!

At what point did we allow our News organizations to become nothing but entertainment? A sign of the Downfall.

JAPANESE TRANSFORMERS TRAILER

Here's the Japanese trailer for Michael Bay's upcoming TRANSFORMERS: THE MOVIE II. Its pretty much the same as the American version, but with a quick intro by Bay and Spielberg and a couple new shots. Um, is that a scene with Starscream? Dogfight in Downtown LA, perhaps?! Giddy!

PRIME TATOOINE REALESTATE

Whoa, check this out - people are living in the original Star Wars Tatooine sets in Tunisia! Awesome.

(article)

ALIEN 3 THE GUN

Santa was good to Jimmy this year!!! While TRex was out of town, a certain arcade game I've been desperately wanting for over 10 years came up on ebay "dirt cheap", added to a semi-close pickup location (no shipping costs). So I am now the proud proud owner of the stand-up, first-person shooter arcade game ALIEN 3: THE GUN!!!!
Oh baby baby is it freaking cool!!!!!

Check it out!

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* Thank you, TREX, for not killing me when you found out I bought this!
** Thank you, JASON, for letting me store it at your place for the time being!
*** Thank you, SHAWNA, for not killing Jason for letting me store it at your place!!

SPIDEY PECKER !

Behold the Spidey Pecker, in all its old, shriveled glory!

In SPIDERMAN: REIGN, a comic that plays homage (read: ripoff) Frank Miller's classic Batman: Dark Knight Returns, in which we see an aged Peter Parker in a dark future. We also see his old-man-grapes. Of course, this has pissed off the "think about the children folks!!".

Apparently the 2nd printing will not have Pete's pecker.
Your genitals are evil and shameful.
Always remember that.

Mmmmm, STEREOTYPE . . .

We found this amazing hidden Antique/Junk store in Ohio over Christmas. It had just about everything you can think of plus more. Anyway, they had this awesome illustration depicting WWII-era Japanese Emperor Hirohito offering an olive branch to an American cowboy, while holding up a dagger behind his back. What cracked me up, besides the overtly bigoted stereotyping and cowaring Hitler & Mussolini in the background, was that the Japanese soldier was also wearing a Nazi uniform (just to drive it home)! I was going to buy it, but it was 95bucks. So instead I took a picture! Score.

*Click on image to enlarge*

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*Attn: Any new JimSmashers (in case of misreading of my tone and humor)...
I, myself, am of Japanese descent. WooHoo!!