JOIN COBRA NOW ! !

"Are YOU strugglilng to make ends meet in this hectic world? Do you feel directionless and confused? Are your waking hours consumed by fantasies of fire-bombing the home of Mr. Katzopoulis, your old junior high teacher?"

Click here to check out the

COBRA MANUAL!

CREATIONISM MUSEUM COMETHS

Get ready for the Creationism Museum! That's right, Kentucky is building its very own natural history museum but without all that annoying science crap involved! It will have fun exhibits for the kids such as depicting dinosaurs roaming the earth.... but with Adam & Eve running around in the background (hopefully covering their sinful naughty parts!!). The above pic is one of the exhibits you'll be able to see. It depicts "two archaeologists coming to very different conclusions while unearthing the same skeleton."

I've decided to help the museum and contribute my own additions to the exhibit. As you can see, I've added the Flying Spaghetti Monster, a Unicorn fossil, Bigfoot's footprints and Terl & Ker from Battlefield Earth. Imagination is fun!! Science is stoopid!!

Read more here.

JIMSMASH THEATRE

YouTube rocks.

1) Japanese Land Walker.
ED-209 just around the corner!
(thanks, SpaceJase!)


2) The Big Lebowski: Fucking Short Version.
(thanks, She-Ra!)

STAR TREK HOMESTYLE

We all knew the time would eventually arrive... home computers, cheap/cracked software, the internet.... A new era of fanmade films is here! And of course, the Trekkies are blazing the fun nerdy path for us all! Here is yet another fanmade Star Trek TV show. This time around, they are picking up where the original show left off and completely the 5 year mission (and stealing Maker and my's idea, damnit!). One thing that makes this fan show different than the others is they have actually somehow manage to get some of the original actors to guest star! I think you can guess which ones without looking by using simple deduction skillz. Anyway, click here to see their site and watch some of their episodes.

Oh, and their Uhura is a fox!

Star Trek Exeter post.

E3 NO MORE

Sorry Gamers, but it looks like E3 (in its present form) is no more. All major exhibitors have effectively pulled their support from the show, prompting the majority of game publishers to also cancel plans for high-cost booths. Geez, take away the scantily clad Booth Boobie Babes and the whole damn thing implodes! More here.

So this is what it sounds like, when geeks cry.
That Video Game Detox Center in the Netherleands better expand their psych ward.

FAKER: A REMEMBERANCE

For some odd reason (probably cause I'm a huge dork) FAKER has been on me brain this morning. You remember Faker, dontcha? He was the evil blue-skin, orange-hair robot doppleganger of He-Man!! Plus, he had Skeletor's armor, which added a slight, much needed element of cool to the character. Oh yeah, under his chest armor, he had a sticker showing his robot technology. Perhaps he was the first repaint figure sold to naive children.

Damn, he would have made a great "Villain of the Day".

CIVIL WAR POOP

What the hell is this shit?!!
This is the cover to "X-MEN: CIVIL WAR #2". Do my eyes deceive me or is that not a fucking Shogun Warrior turd on the cover? WHAT THE FRELL? I have nothing against anime. And I have nothing against being inspired by anime. But what I DO hate is unimagintive, talentless, lazy assholes blatantly copying things. Get that out of my face, Marvel! And horse whip the chode who allowed this garbage to seep into an X-Men book!!!

JIMSMASH!!!

JIM LEE X-MEN

Click here for some rad Jim Lee X-Men pages plus some Jimmy commentary you all know and love.

WORKING SATURDAY BLOWS

WON'T YOU BE MY NEIGHBOR?

Oooh, this is a fun one!
Click here and enter your home address. It will show you a "house" in the middle of the map - that's your house. All the little colored boxes are registered Sex Offenders that live near you! Click on them and you get a name, address and picture of the person along with the crime. It also shows you where they live in proximity to local schools, in addition to where you live. Sleep tight!

MUPPETS SEASON 2 and YOU

The Muppet Show Season 2 is FINALLY coming out. Jeez, the first one came out August 2005. Grrrrr. Anyway, you can vote on which cover they will use for the dvd packaging! Click here to vote. I vote for "C", the far right one above.

Or go in a diff't direction and go with the "Janet Jackson" approach.
NOTE: I did NOT make this pic.

Click here for the reveal.

You know you want to look,
you sickos.


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* Thanks, Melchy!
(for the Voting link, not the Piggy fetish stuff)

RAMPAGEING COLBERT

Here is the Quesada drawn faux-comic cover he did for the Colbert Report, which he was a guest on thursday night. Note the mighty Colbert victorious over his arch-nemesis

THE BEAR.

*click on image to enlarge*

Click here for some of what was said.
Click here to watch.
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* Joe Quesada is the current Editor-In-Chief of Marvel comics and one-time badass comic artist in the 90s.

UNDERTOW REVISITED

Today I pulled TOOL'S "UNDERTOW" album off the dusty shelf and man, I think I forgot just how KICKASS that album is! Not that its new news or anything, but its fun to re-experience a great album.

If you haven't listened to it in awhile, your JimSmash homework for the weekend is to crank that mutha up; whether in your car, home, headphones or place of worship!

A HORSE IS A HORSE OF COURSE

People never cease to amaze me. Take this assclown for instance:

A Seattle man died Friday after engaging in anal sex with a horse at a farm suspected of being a gathering place for people seeking to have sex with livestock. The horse involved in the incident was not harmed, and an autopsy of the unnamed man concluded that “the manner of death was accidental ...
...due to perforation of the colon.” (more)

Best.
Epitaph.
Ever.
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*thanks, Ted!
** "Assclown" is a copyrighted phrase owned by Ted.

SANTA CLAUSE 3

Wow.

TOO FREAKING HOT

Ok, it was so hot in our apt last night I thought my lungs were going to burst. It's only July and the worst is always August and September. I'm not going to be able to make it. I'm seriously considering shelling out $400-plus and buying one of those portable A/C units. Otherwise I'm going to have to move into Work for the next 2 months.

Donations to the Anti-Hot-Jimmy-Fund are accepted.

UPDATE: 70% of the homes in LA do NOT have AC. 125 heat-related deaths have occured in CA so far in the last 2 weeks. Hundreds of cows have been dying each day. The Home Depot here just got in some portable AC units. They are $500. Please send Jimmy money.

BREASTS ARE EVIL (APPARENTLY)

People are so infuriating.

Today's American Inanity comes from reactions to BabyTalk's current magazine cover showing... oh my god... can I even SAY it??...... *deep breath*.... *sigh*...ok... a baby breastfeeding.
I know! I know! The horror and disgust a Nation is facing right now!

"Gross!... I shredded it....I don't want my son or husband to accidentally see a breast they didn't want to see."

If only I could reach across the internet and bitchslap the dumb out of people. Read about it here.

HEAT WAVE, NO LIKEY

HOLY BOLOGNA BALLS,

IT'S FREAKIN' HOT OUT!!

I took this pic of a dude outside at lunch.
Man, I wish we had Air-Conditioning at home!

DISNEY BRINGS BACK 2D ANIMATION

NICE!!! Disney is really starting to straighten up and fly right, primarily due (in my opinion) to Steve Jobs' and Pixar's newfound powers at the company. Last year(?) Disney abolished it's traditional 2D Animation department to make way for all 3D stuff. An extremely stupid idiotic move I thought. Well, they are now bringing BACK their 2D with a new animated feature, "THE FROG PRINCESS", a female take on the Frog Prince. Jon Musker and Ron Clements are developing the film. They worked together before on The Little Mermaid, Aladdin and Hercules (2 out of 3 ain't bad). I'm stoked at "the return" of traditional animation at Disney. They kick ass at it, which is unfortunately becoming a lost art, what with 3D animation flourishing everywhere.
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*Pic is NOT of the film. I just thought it was funny.

RANDOM FIND: HULK VS WOLVERINE (TV)

Came across this by accident and got a kick out of it.

Hugh Jackman Wolverine Vs. Lou Ferrigno Hulk.
Sorry, Bub, but you're about to visit that big hair salon in the sky.

HULK SMASH PRETTY BOY!!!!!!

CPT OBVIOUS PRESS

Had to post this as my sister-in-law LOVED these chodes when they were annoyingly popular. I'm talking walls psychotically plastered with posters and magazine ripouts (scarry stuff):

Lance Bass has finally admitted what everybody already knew and come out and said he's gay.

"I knew that I was in this popular band and I had four other guys' careers in my hand, and I knew that if I ever acted on it or even said (that I was gay), it would overpower everything. I didn’t know: Could that be the end of ’N Sync? So I had that weight on me of like, ‘Wow, if I ever let anyone know, it's bad.' So I just never did."

Nothing this shocking has happened since Liberace came out. God I fucking hated that boy-band era! What the fuck is wrong with this country? I'm off to forward this to my sister-in-law in a juvenile petty way that only Jimmy can!

SUPERMAN ROAST

Click here for the 1st Annual
SUPERMAN ROAST!

Snippet:
"My favorite scene in the original Superman movie is when Ned Beatty gets raped in the woods… No, wait, that’s not Superman, that’s Deliverance. I always get the movies I masturbate to confused."

CYLON DESIGNS

Check out these (above) prototype early Cylon designs for the new incarnation of Battlestar Galactica. Kinda like this direction better; they look more tough and intimidating... like true shock troopers. The new ones look awkward, especially their legs. I'd prefer just tweaking the old skool ones slightly. Anyway, here are some designs that could have been.
And a side-to-side comparison of old vs new.

ASTONISHING X-MEN

Man I love this image! It's from Astonishing X-Men #1, where Joss Whedon & John Cassaday are rocking. X-Men has sucked hard for the past 15 years and despite my obsessive compulsion to still buy them each month, even I was beginning to have thoughts of abandonment. Grant Morrisson came onboard for a brief time in the early Tweens and really shook things up; Gone were the costumes, for one. Some of it was good, some bad. But in the end, it just wasn't the X-Men I knew and love.

Then came Whedon/Cassaday and recaptured some of that delicious glory of the classic Claremont/Byrne days. This pic depicts the X-Men, freshly back into new costumes, walking in and showing everyone in the place that they mean business and are totally prepared to kick some fucking ass! Kitty, for the first time ever I think, is in a cool costume! Beast, while still in his less-desirable Grant Morrisson "Cat" physique, somehow pulls off his new weird trousers! And oh-man oh-man oh-man, Cyclops is back in his Skull Cap costume, updated and new!! YES!!!! Jumping over to Emma - just looking at her makes my cerebral cortex piss itself in fear!

And of course we have Wolverine. A character that was once cooler than cool until he was yanked from the background and thrust into the limelight, his image plastered on everything the Marvel Money Marketing Machine could find. Around 1995, I began to hate the character. He became a parody of himself at best. But here, Whedon and Cassaday not only make him a badass again, but they make that dreadful Yellow & Blue costume WORK!! Never cared for the original Romita Sr, the Byrne redesign or the 90s lame-o version. The Orange/Brown was (and is) the best. But this new one works when drawn by the right artist (like Cassaday). The costume is slick and sharp, without being overtly styled out. When this dude walks into a bar with that getup on, he's telling you he's not only ready to rock-n-roll in a brawl of messy wetworks, but he's going to first announce his presence to everyone!!! And kudos to artist Cassaday for drawing him short and stocky. Remember, Wolverine is 5'3" - NOT freaking 6'1", like Hugh Jackman. "Wolverine" - short, hairy and ferocious. It's not just a clever name, its what he IS. He's the best at what he does. And what he does ain't pretty. SNIKT!!!

The X-Men are BACK and they're a force to be reckoned with, True Believers!!

Check out some Astonishing X-Men collections here and pick up the single issues at your local comic store! Hell, just buy the collections at your local stores too - support them!

NECRONOMICON IV

The one that started it all! This is H.R.Giger's painting "NECRONOMICON IV". As legend goes (heh) Ridley Scott was given one of Giger's Necronomicon books in the early-early days of ALIEN pre-production. Scott begins flipping through it and comes to the page with NecroIV and Bam!!! He instantly says, "THAT is the monster for the film! Get this dude on the phone!" (Or something along those lines). The rest is history.

I had this image as a poster when I was a teenager. Needless to say, my mom was thrilled. Hmmm, maybe it's time to ship that badboy out to LA and have it grace our living room!

DICK TRACY COLLECTIONS

First, forget that terrible movie with Warren Beatty and Madonna. Ok, now that that's behind us...

This October, DICK TRACY comicstrips are being collected into hardback form, joining the shelves with Peanuts, Dennis The Menace, and Gasoline Alley! IDW Publishing will start the collection at the beginning and will not stop until it's done! Overall, the plan is to do 2-3 volumes per year. I had the fortune to see some original DT artwork at the Comic Book Art Exhibit that was in LA last year. Fantastic stuff, which pushed the envelope of American sequential art. Dick Tracy is a true American classic on many levels, which to this day is still being copied and drawn from. So pick up a book sometime and visit an era that is unfortunately long since passed. This is also a great gift idea for parents and grandparents! Wow, this post sounds like an infomercial.

DUMBEST TATTOO EVER

What was this guy thinking?

And what was the reaction of the Tattoo Artist when this schmuck walked in and said, "Yeah, I'd like a tattoo of Michael Jackson fondling Macaulay Culkin's junk."

**click on image to see the dumbass' tattoo**

HASSELHOFF CALENDAR

This one's for Ted.

Click here to see more......

IF YOU DARE!!!!

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*Thanks, CasualSlack!
Bookmarking you improves one's life!
Bookmark it today!

MORE SUYDAM ALIEN ART

These were done as covers and promo pieces for the ALIEN3 comic adaptation and the mini-series "ALIENS: GENOCIDE" from Dark Horse Comics. Suydam is good friends with Frank Frazetta and you can clearly see the influence. While his Aliens tend to be a bit too much on the beefy side, I still really dig his interpretations; he highlights the alien/exotic/foreign aspect and brings the horrific ferocity of the creature to the canvas.
He also did a rad painting of the Dark Knight in a very Frazetta style! The 3 below the Batman are Frazetta's Vampirella, Conan and Death Dealer.More recently, Suydam has been receiving alot of COMIC attention from his Marvel Zombies covers. While fun and silly, I don't dig them as much. Examples here.

MORE DAVE DORMAN ALIENS ART

He draws a wicked ALIEN!!
I love the texture(s) he gives the creature.
So far, he's my favorite ALIEN artist!

Most people know Dorman for his STAR WARS paintings he did for Dark Horse comics (covers, not interiors). Some of them are cool, particularily his Crimson Guard paintings, but overall I'm not a huge fan of his SW. It's his ALIENS work that gets me giddy. But judge for yourself here, where you can check his ART section for his other paintings.

TODAY'S WTF? BOOK

How to Date a White Woman: A Practical Guide for Asian Men

I'm speechless.

(link)

LITTLE MAN RIPS OFF LOONEY TUNES

I can't believe I'm posting about LITTLE MAN, but here we are. Someone mentioned that the stupid movie looks like an awful ripoff of Looney Tunes' classic "Baby Buggy Bunny" in which a tiny criminal disguises himself as a baby to get inside Bugs' home (Bugs had inadvertantly taken the loot). Thankfully, no one will see the movie and no harm will be done.

TURTLES IN A HALF SHELL RETURN!

The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are back in a new comedy movie, but this time in CG! Click here to watch the teaser trailer. Pretty cool looking. I was never a big fan of the Turtles as it made its big splash in pop culture- I was in Junior High and found them to be too silly and intended for a much younger audience. However, I remember back before the half-shell phenom, when they were just cool Indy "underground" black-and-white comics geared more for Teens and young-Adults (non of that Pizza eating Cowabunga crap). Anyway, great idea, and too bad it was retooled and reaimed at a much younger audience. Still fun though on some levels.

If you're at all interested in reading some cool non-silly-stupid-surfer TMNT, then check these out:

TMNT #24-26, 31, 35 & 36.

Oh, and I have to mention that TRex's cousin co-wrote TMNT Movie 2&3. Heh.

MONEY WELL SPENT

Here's some of the crap I got at the Con:

*Signed ALIEN print from Arthur Suydam

*Signed ALIENS print from Dave Dorman

*ALIEN Kubrick (con exclusive)

*Super Deformed ALIEN (8" tall)

*Fantastic Four Omnibus ($40!)

*X-Men #8, 19, 20, and a few others (cheap beat up copies)

Unfortunately, I couldn't find the freaking CYLON figure that was supposed to be there! Ugh! So now me and Lisa are sad sad sad.

(Dave Dorman = Alienbot with Dog)
(Suydam = Top Right Alien)

SAMURAI RIDERS

Riders in traditional Japanese samurai armor with ancestral flagstaffs streaming from their backs gallop their horses across open fields during Nomaoi (Wild Horse Chase) in Minami-Soma, northern Japan, Monday, July 24, 2006. The annual Nomaoi festival recreates a battle scene from more than 1,000 years ago.
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*thanks, Maker!

IRON MAN NEWS

Adi Granov is doing design work for the film, which is cool cause his re-design of the Iron Man armor in "Extremis" rocked. However, the armor in the teaser poster is NOT the final armor design. Granov said that he chose first-off to make sure that the armor had a circular light on the chest, since the triangle never worked for him.... or me for that matter! Click here for more Granov Iron Man examples.

"There's sort of a Robocop-type quality that this character can have," director Favreau said in talking about which elements he likes in the armor, noting that he likes the ideas of weight and power, and an inorganic look over organic, rather than martial arts. He also said that the feel will be Tom Clancy, "But because it involves Tony Stark, there will be some James Bond in there."

Asked if his Tony Stark will deal with his alcoholism, Favreau said that he's looking at IRON MAN as a group of films, so he'll have time to explore how his weapons manufacturing and captivity, and in looking at the history of Tony Stark and Iron Man, as the stressors grew up around him in the comics, the alcoholism came in, and a similar path may be followed in the film. Favreau said that he'll be starting with the gray armor in the film (yes!!), before moving on to a few different types of armor, and will end with the gold and red, evolving more into a weapons platform than a flying suit.

Oh yeah, the villain is going to be the Mandarin.
Was there really any other choice?

STAR TREK TEASER POSTER

Here's an early teaser poster for
JJ ABRAMS' upcoming Star Trek prequel movie.

Dig the old colors and cloth. Maybe he'll go for that look of the TV Show instead of retconning it.

Fingers triple-crossed for this film.

SPIDERMAN 3 CHARACTER POSTERS

Here are 5 "character posters" for SPIDERMAN 3. The Topher Grace pic with the symbiote covering him looks rad.

Click on em to enlarge.

THERE IS A GOD. . .

. . . and he's an Autobot!

It was announced this weekend that PETER CULLEN, original voice of Optimus Prime, has indeed been cast to reprise his role in the live-action Transformers Movie!!!! YES! YES! YES!!! Seriously, without his voice, its a different character entirely! Peter Cullen IS Optimus Prime.

Can I please get a collective "FUCK YEH!!!!"?

OFF TO COMIC-CON

ONCE a year, I'm able to let my inner dork out and go down to the San Diego Comicon. Yes, even I have a dorky side. I know, I know its hard to believe, but it's true. Well, its this weekend and so, I'm off! See ya on the other side!------------------------------------------------------------------------
* this post was inspired and copied by WooSpace's post!
** and NO, I am NOT in that picture NOR do I know those people.

SUPERMAN SUPERTEAM

Sweet! The new writing team for ACTION COMICS isn't going to just include the talented GEOFF JOHNS, but also RICHARD DONNER!! That's right, the same Richard Donner who directed Superman 1 and all the good parts of Superman 2!!! Johns and Donnor and Superman? Oh man! Oh man! Oh man!!! I can't wait!!

And here's a sample of the art by new penciller Adam Kubert! You know the drill, click on it to enlarge it

More here.