BULLSHIT NEWS

Why does God hate me?
Fox studio head Tom Rothman has stated that AVP2 is a go and is planned for release in 2007. I would go into it more, but that would cause my anger levels to rise so much, only mass carnage and my head exploding could result. Instead, below is my review I wrote on Netflix for AVP1. JIMSMASH!!!!
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Abysmal. Absolutely abysmal!! This movie was so horrible, my emotions were overloaded, went into lockdown and I was unable to be angry (which I was after seeing ALIEN: Resurrection). I'm a HUGE fan of the ALIEN series as well as the Predator character...but I'm also a fan of good film. From the very beginning, it feels like a poor Emmerich rip-off in setup & dialogue. It is then followed by overused cliches, borrowed ideas and poor storytelling you'd find in a made-for-SciFi-channel flick.The predators are stripped of any cool factors such as honor & ability, and appear as steroid-pumped weightlifters in uncomfortable cheap Halloween costumes. Anderson's apparent lack of knowledge or respect for the previous films makes one wonder, "Did he actually watch the Alien & Predator series, or simply hear about them from a stranger on a bus?". My own Alien/Predator fandom put aside, this is still a poorly conceived and made film; bad editing, writing, dialogue and "plot". I will, however, give nods to the cinematography & the practical Alien creature work by ADI. The cg Aliens, while modeled nicely, are animated more like dogs than Aliens (except for the queen, who moves like the T-Rex in Jurrasic Park). The video-game wrestling is not enough to salvage a long list of unintentional hilarity; Lex's handmade alien-head shield springs to mind. Overall, the plot is rushed, paper thin & feels like a student film with a large budget. Its a real shame in that the Alien and Predator movies existed on a completely higher quality level (yes, even the sequels compared!). Also, the Alien Vs Predator comics and novels would have worked wonderfully as a movie. Why Anderson did not go with those stories (instead of cannibalising & ruining aspects), I will never understand. The only salvaging element of the film is that it features the Alien and Predator. Too bad they are watered-down parodies of themselves. Pick up the comic or novel for a much better ride (check amazon.com). "B+" for visual design. "F" for execution.