BLASPHEMY STRIKES BACK

This is the cover to Dark Horse Comics' THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK PHOTO COMIC. The Vader image used is actually Hayden Christianson in the Vader suit from an Episode III promo shoot. Using anything but EMPIRE-Vader for an Empire book is pure blasphemy. Using a pic from a PREQUEL is an ACT OF WAR. Seriously, this pisses me off.

GENERAL GOOD-GRIEF-OUS FIGURE

In the highly entertaining and enjoyable novel "LABYRINTH OF EVIL", GENERAL GRIEVOUS is a great villain with a reputation as a ruthless, brilliant tactical general of war. His very name alone spreads fear and dispair throughout the war-torn galaxy. In addition, the awesome CLONE WARS cartoon showed him as a force to be reckoned with with a lightsaber, killing many Jedi and taking their lightsabers as tropies. In short, he's cool in those stories.

However, I wasn't too big on Grievous in Episode III. He was a cliche cartoon villain twirling his evil moustache as he warmed his hands in vile villainous glee. Plus, he pretty much did NOTHING to make me fear or like him. His final battle with Obi-Wan was pathetically boring, especially after seeing him in action in the CLONE WARS cartoon.

Now, to add insult to injury (or something)... Kenner has made a figure of Grievous based on early concept designs, showing the character BEFORE he became the Cyborg in the movie - Pic below. Look at this figure, man! Could they have made him look any less cool? Jesus Christ on a Landspeeder, this is fucking atrocious!!! I like the concept drawing, but man alive, keep the fucking mask ON!! And what, he's some skinny lame-ass bug creature with an uber-receding hairline with batboy ears and a droopy face? BAH!!!

POOP!!!!

DARK CRYSTAL MANGA

TokyoPop is about to publish a new manga comic based on Jim Henson's THE DARK CRYSTAL. Penned by Barbara Kesel, "Legend of The Dark Crystal" is set 100 years before the movie. So expect to be introduced to "new" unseen-before MYSTICS, SKEKSIS and GELFLINGS!

Below is some preview art. Its not necessarily in sequential order, so keep that in mind. I'm not digging how the Gelflings are drawn; they look more like THE LITTLES, than Gelflings. Regardless, some of the art is pretty nice looking. Kesel is a HUGE Dark Crystal fan and has done alot of research with Henson Co to make sure her stories are "legit". I'll pick it up and check it out.

Although, The Dark Crystal simply isn't the Dark Crystal without puppets.... or Jim Henson & Frank Oz for that matter.

*Click image to enlarge*

Legend of the Dark Crystal will be available Tues Nov 13.

SHADOW PUPPETS.... BUT NOT REALLY

Uh-oh Mr.-Perspective-Illusion-Sidewalk-Chalk-Man... there's a new kid on the block getting the "Brilliant Artist" praise from the Masses of non-Art enthusiasts! Junk that has neat-o shadows!!!!!

My favorite is the peeing one.

Click HERE to see it and more.... or go to the source.
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*sorry if I sound harsh on the illusion stuff.... its just that forced perspective "illusions" has been around for over a thousand years (2,000 - debatable). While the sidewalk art is neat, its hardly brilliant nor "the new art of the 21st Century", as I've heard many people say. sigh.

ANIMATED DOOMSDAY FIGURES

In the last year DOOMSDAY has been given the Animated Style treatment in action figure form. The one on the left is from last year's Target Exclusive JLA 6-Pack. JimSmash reader "P_K" sent it to me as a gift! (thanks again "P_K", whoever you are!). The one on the right just came out. It's part of the recently released "SUPERMAN VS DOOMSDAY" animated direct-to-dvd movie. Both look really cool for different reasons. I have the Left-One at home holding the animated Wonder Woman above his head. Don't ask me why... I was cleaning and rearranging and ran out of shelf space. So WW went there. Anyway, the one on the right I just picked up this past weekend. He's at work with me and looks freaking cooler than I originally thought when I bought him - the pic does not do him justice. Heh, "Justice".

DISNEY PRINCESSES TALK CHLAMYDIA

Over at YankieePotRoast, Wayne Gladstone has posted a nice PSA on Chlamydia with help from the Disney Princesses! Here's a taste:

What Is Chlamydia?

Snow White: Chlamydia is a lot like swallowing a poisoned apple transformed through magic by a witch. Except, instead of a poisoned apple, it’s more like bacteria living on dirty dwarf cock.

Cinderella: The Chlamydia bacteria can grow in the throat, vagina, penis, or absolutely anywhere on that whore “Sleeps-Around Beauty.” Oh, I’m sorry. I mean, Aurora.

Pocahontas: Chlamydia is the only thing I still have from John Smith.


Click HERE for the rest!

CREEPING MYSELF OUT (AND LOVING IT)

NATALIE PORTMAN is in a new movie called "The Other Boleyn Girl".

I have no idea what its about, but she looks fantastic in that poster.

So much so, I psychotically photoshopped out the other actors (yeah, I know, creepy right?).

There's only room for sweet sweet Natalie, chumps.

To see the original poster,
click HERE. I love her.

ANOTHER AVP2 TRAILER

IGN.com has the latest AVP2 trailer.... its pretty much the same as the previous ones, but with a couple extra quick shots like an Alien swimming (ala Alien:Resurrection), and a few others. If things look familiar its because you've seen them before in previous Alien & Predator movies (swipe!!!). And again, the setting (modern midwest U.S. town) pisses me off to no end. Oh, and a Predator holding TWO Aliens by their throats? Please... a Predator could barely hold back ONE Alien, let alone TWO. Be glad I don't have access to the big red button... I might just end it all now and save us all from further blasphemy from untalented, unimaginative douchebags at FOX who are continuing to destroy both franchises.

Previous AVP2 posts:
7 Reasons Why AVP2 Will Suck
AVP2 Pic & Title
AVP2 Surprisingly Angers Jim (sarcasm)
AVP2: Survival of the Shittiest (funny!)

ALIEN TATTOO OF THE DAY

I didn't recognize the tattoo artwork as being from somewhere before... although it did seem familiar. I think its clearly NON-professional. In the end, I think it simply reminded me of the cover to the ALIEN 3 comic adaptation (above right). Also, the HEAD of the Alien looks similar to the INTERIOR art (not shown) from the series ALIENS: GENOCIDE (bottom 2 are from the covers). Perhaps the person looked at other work as reference or guides?

BATMAN & ROBIN MURAL

Personally, I'm a bit sick of the masses yanking their snakes over the sidewalk chalk murals. Yes, they are nifty with their use of perspective, but come on.... let's keep things in perspective here when throwing out words like "brilliant art". Anyway, I do dig this one. It's brilliant.

IT WOULD WORK . . .

*Click on images to enlarge. Hail Cobra!*
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The live-action GIJOE movie is go. Now check out these costumes from a recent convention! The movie really needs to stick with the classic uniforms and helmets. Look at them, man! They fucking rock!!! Just imagine them but with some added budget thrown at the construction. COBRA COMMANDER looks incredible!!! I better see that helmet, as it should be, in the movie!!!! These pics have really confirmed for me that the classic looks will totally work in a live-action movie. In addition, "Femme Cobra Officer Fetish" has been born.

BRITNEY'S DOWNFALL - WHAT A RIDE ! !

I usually hate tabloid bullshit and could really give a shit about celebrities - I truly despise the celeb worshipping in this country. Anyway, I do love it when the worst of the worst bratty wastes of space celebs begin their self-inflicted downward spiral into karmatic justice. Obviously, I've been enjoying Britney's downfall. It all began with God answering my prayers and sending down an angel in the form of Kevin Federline, who's almost single-handedly destroyed Britney by doing nothing more than being the dead beat loser he is (post on that). But he just got the ball rolling and Britney has taken over destroying her life; breakdown, shaving head, attacking people..... These past few weeks have been fucking awesome (mind you, I do not seek out info on her, but merely keep track of what makes it into the headlines).... Here's a rundown:

* Her embarassing VMA "Comeback" Performance in which she walked through the performance like a sedated out-of-shape lump. Wow, if you haven't seen it, you really should - its damn fine enterntainment.

* Couple days later, not only does her MANAGEMENT FIRM drop her, but her LAWYER does too!!

* A few days later, a Superior Court Commissioner ordered her to undergo random drug and alcohol testing twice a week due to evidence she engaged in “habitual, frequent and continuous use of controlled substances and alcohol.”

* The NEXT day, she was photographed stumbling out of a Los Angeles club/bar hammered.

* Last week, she was charged with misdemeanor counts of hit and run and driving without a valid license. This was from when she smashed her car into another in a parking lot in August, apparently. If convicted - up to 6months jail time, baby!

* This week, failing to get a drug test and unable to show evidence of a valid California Driver's license, Britney has LOST CUSTODY of her 2 kids.

Oh man!
I know its bad karma to enjoy the misery of others, but come on..... Jesus himself is eating a big ole bowl of buttered popcorn enjoying this show! Don't judge....... Don't judge.

HALLOWEEN MOVIES 2007

Well its now OCTOBER, which means HALLOWEEN is just around the corner!!! I've always felt that October should be a month of full-on Halloween celebration; decorations, cookies, movie watching, etc.. ending with Halloween night festivities (trick-or-treating and/or costume pary). Unfortunately, television in the U.S. has seemed to abandoned the tradition of showing tons of Halloween themed programming. So its up to us as individuals to keep it alive. This month I think I'm going to watch the following movies:

* YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN (classic!)
* DAWN OF THE DEAD (2004 remake)
* PUMPKINHEAD (I know, I know....)
* HALLOWEEN (original)
* DARK SHADOWS (original series)
* DRACULA (Bela Lugosi classic)
* ADV of ICHABOD & MR TOAD (the Sleepy Hollow part is awesome!)
* THE HOWLING (gotta have werewolves somewhere!)
* FRIDAY THE 13th PART II (pre-silly Hockey Mask Jason)
* MUPPETS EPISODE WITH VINCENT PRICE (awesome)
* POLTERGEIST (filling the "ghost" section of Halloween)
* KISS MEETS PHANTOM OF THE PARK (must be seen to believe... inebriated helps, too)

Now, this list is NOT a "Best of" or "My Favorites" list... it is merely a list of movies I'm going to watch this year to help celebrate HALLOWEEN MONTH. What's everyone else going to watch this year?
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Previous Halloween Movies posts:
Halloween Movie Assignment (2006)
List-O-Rama: Halloween Flicks (2005)

MAD SCIENTIST CREATES INVISIBLE FROG

Japanese scientists have created the first transparent four-legged creature. Lead researcher Masayuki Sumida, professor at the Institute for Amphibian Biology at Hiroshima University, says"You can see through the skin how organs grow, how cancer starts and develop. You can watch organs of the same frog over its entire life as you don't have to dissect it. The researcher can also observe how toxins affect bones, livers and other organs at lower costs."

The transparent frog is the result of breeding two specimens of Japanese brown frog (Rana japonica) that had a genetic mutation giving them pale skin.

No word yet on how go get some for pets, which would rule. Also, we do all realize that we will most likely see a transparent human in our lifetime, right? At the very least, a transparent dog or some other large mammal.....ooooh, transparent Elephants!!!!!!!

(article)

JAZZ RADIO WARSZAWA DISLIKES JAZZ

This is a print ad for JAZZ RADIO WARSZAWA... it uses the IRON MAIDEN font and semi-visuals. But why? How is ripping off imagery of a Metal band (one of the best I might add) useful to sell an All-Jazz radio station? I don't get it. All this does is make me pissed off at JRW and makes me want to listen to some Maiden. They also ripoff some Beatles in another ad. What, do they believe that there isn't any good Jazz imagery to use to sell their station? Seem like whomever was in charge of this shitty ad campaign doesn't know, or love, Jazz.

DARTH FABIO

This is an upcoming ANAKIN figure based on the kickass CLONE WARS cartoon. Actually several of the cartoon versions are making their way over to the "realistic" world via the toyline. Most aren't working very well (Yoda and "Hammerhead Jedi"), but I'm hoping for a SAESEE TIIN in Clone Armor & Helmet!!! If you haven't seen this animated series, fucking rent them today - they are what you wanted the Prequels to be! AWESOME STUFF! Disc 1, Disc 2.

Anyway, that's not the point of this post.... the point of this post is the Anakin figure... or more specifically, the artwork on the Anakin figure CARD. Anyone else feel mildly uncomfortable here? I'm not one proned to ridiculous homophobia, so don't even try playing that card. It's just.... well, disturbing. Maybe its the Hayden head photoshopped onto Fabio's body, sans neck....??
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On a plus note, I now know what to get Mr Legs for Christmas!

TALENT CALDWELL RIPPING OFF JIM LEE ?

Does anyone else think that Talent Caldwell's cover to DC's COUNTDOWN 31 looks an awfully like Jim Lee's cover to X-MEN #5 back in late 1991?

NEW POSTERS: ASTRO-BOY & GATCHAMAN

*Click image to enlarge*

KLINGONS VS FURRIES ! ! ! !

Wow.
Klingons vs Furries in a Bowl-A-Thon!
Click HERE to see more pics!

BEST GADGET EVER ! !

I'm so buying one of these bad boys! Check it out, its a Cell Phone Jammer able to shut down GSM 850-, 900-, 1,8000- and 1,900-MHz cellphone calls within a 30-foot radius!!!

Douchebag driving and talking? Asshole in the theater? Just want to fuck with teenagers? The possibilites are endless!! Click HERE to buy one... they're $166 but totally worth it I think.