Thursday, February 09, 2012

FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS GO SEE 'PHANTOM MENACE' IN THE THEATER AGAIN

For those of my friends who are stricten with a sudden case of Amnesia, Temporary Madness and/or Bad Taste, and are considering seeing 'Star Wars: Episode 1: The Phantom Menace' in 3D tomorrow... I give you the gift of reposting RedLetterMedia 's brilliant 7-Part Review of the film. Please watch:

PART 1:

PART 2:

PART 3:

PART 4:

PART 5:

PART 6:

PART 7:


Also remember, the 3D Experience is done via POST-CONVERSION, meaning its not "true 3D" like say 'Avatar'. It will look more like 'Clash of the Titans' - cutout layers on cards in 3d space. And think about the movie and how the 3D will be used: 2 guys in foreground, big open desert behind them.... 2 guys in foreground, big open hangar behind them.... all set in a 2-hour shitty movie that will molest your inner child all over again. "wooooo! now this is podracing!"

For those of you who actually love this movie - Go! Enjoy!
*(but know we can never be best friends)

23 comments:

Anonymous said...

" But Darth Maul was awesome!!!!...."

Malhavok said...

LOVE when they try and describe the characters... F'n brilliant.

jedispyder said...

I feel the same way. I got excited when I heard Episode I was going to be in 3D, but then I remember I hate 3D movies and thought Episode was only mediocre. Then I remembered "midichlorians" and "YIPEEEEEE!!!" and the rest of the horrible dialoge which made me start to get sadder. From what I understand, they didn't touch up any graphics, right? So do you really want to see a 3D Yoda that still look horrendous? So...I may be passing on seeing The Phantom Menace in 3D. Yet the Pod Race and the final fight between Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon/Maul would be awesome in 3D...yet it may not redeem the rest of the not-so-great movie...

TimPro said...

I wouldn't mind seeing the original trilogy in 3D.

TimPro said...

Also redlettermedia is awesome. My brother got to meet the guys at Wizard World Chicago last year. I'm so jealous.

Tim said...

Thank you!!! I feel like I've been in the Twilight zone for the past month asking people why they'd pay MORE money to see a crappy movie in crappy 3D. A movie that they also admit is bad but are brainwashed when it comes to Star Wars.

Took said...

This movie is at the top of the list of best scifi movies ever!!

(if you hold the list upside down)



I'm so glad they 3d'd it, so it gives me even more reasons not to watch it again. It's an overrated gimmick, and I dont need to see Jarjar's tongue coming at me.

MOCK! said...

I hear all of you, but my 8 year old wants the chance to at least SEE it on the big screen, so...I guess I'm in.

(My word verification was "corrected" to cologne, which is what I always thought Ben was saying when he told Luke about The Cologne Wars)

jedispyder said...

I'm torn about whether I'd see the OT in 3D. Usually the 3D-conversion is pretty horrible and taking an older movie and trying to turn it to 3D may be a recipe for disaster =o/

Anonymous said...

riiiiiight, so if this movie is THAT bad, then why'd some dork waste his time w/ a SEVEN-PART review?!?

'cause, what, anyone w/ ACTUAL taste would rather see this jackasshole doofus talk about this film than actually see it?!?

yeah, yeah, i know that many of you just said, "yes", and this is the part where i thank you for once again confirming how "tacky" you truly are in comparison to me because you'd rather get cockteased before, after, and during The Vow and/or see some CRAAAAAAAAAAAAP movie that only a 4-yr-old would be entertained by (Journey 2) just because it was drilled into their heads w/ commercials on Nickelodeon.

...oh, and the movie that's been done before (Law Abiding Citizen, anyone?) that does nothing but remind TACKY FANGIRLS of an example of one of THE worst movies EVER MADE, sci-fi or not (Reynold's Green Lantern).

seriously, Green Lantern & Ep. 1 aren't even in the same category of "suck". one "sucks as a Star Wars film", the other is "an embarrassment to film and superhero movies the likes of which the worst of the 80's superhero/sci-fi/etc flicks (MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE, anyone?) couldn't accomplish".

Anonymous said...

not a "brainwashed SW fan", just know that "even the worst of SW is still damn good and way better than the SHIT you dweebs like".

...which i say w/ LOVE, of course. ;-D

i mean, just the fact that Ray Park was in it AS Darth Maul makes it cooler than anything you'll ever like. i mean, have you ever actually met that man? he's cooler than your whole family tree AND could kick all your asses even quicker than i can.

Anonymous said...

...if you hate Jar Jar, then go on and quit boring the crap out of everyone w/ your "been there, said that (OVER AND OVER AND OVER)" and talk about how much you also hate the Ewoks 'cause they're one and the same.

...a comedic interjection that was put in for KIDS' enjoyment that drove a plot point. that's literally it.

Jim said...

Why do you continue to read a blog that you apparently hate? You constantly chime in to throw insults around.

Your bullet points are all ove the place and full of ridiculous conclusions and personal insults.

Your comments bore me.

Anonymous said...

...and all of this annoyance (which is all it really, truly is. honestly) above an Aquaman pic w/ a bubble that says, "if you can't say something NICE"... *trident launched in your ass* LMAO!

:-/

Anonymous said...

SOMEONE has to add a splash of "not fruity lameness from a bunch of fangirl douches" and it SURE as SHIT ain't gonna be any of you!

LMFAO@U!

it entertains me to spit at your dorkiness as much as it entertains you to spit at coolness and brag about being little bitches.

trust me, i only read juuuust enough of this drivel and usually just steal shit from your cute little 11-yr-old virgin "blog", because some of it IS cute!

Anonymous said...

...but this actually, apparently, is more of a "diary" than a blog 'cause it's just more of a suckfest between goofballs. nice pics though, some of the time, THNX!

Anonymous said...

oh, btw, "geniuses"...

if you don't buy tickets for this "crap" in 3D, you'll never see the original trilogy on the screen again, IN 3D w/ more advanced tech than this movie is receiving!

...btw...

ok, children, have a good weekend!

can't wait to see your diary entry after the weekend about seeing The Vow and ALMOST kissing a girl!

Jim said...

I don't like Post-Conversion 3D, so I have no desire to see the Original Trilogy in that way. Of course, it will be the Special Editions, which I don't like either (although 'Empire' wasn't fucked with too much).

Tim said...

Reading the posts by Anonymous are a good way to fall asleep. It's worked for a couple days now. I love how you get so offended that we don't like something that you like. Ever heard of an opinion?

Ep1Never said...

My guess is Anonymous is 13 years old.

Jim said...

Eh, I'd prefer to not have a thread of insult slinging.

I don't mind having my balls busted, if it's in a fun playful manner. I do, however, mind being personally attacked over my opinion(s). Let's try and keep the dialogue friendly, mature and respectful.

I have a zero tolerance for vile, hateful comments.

TimPro said...

I love JIMSMASH!!!!!

Tim said...

I agree with TimPro!!!