READER MAIL: "YOU SIR ARE CORRECT (AVP-R)"

JimSmash Reader ROB G writes in:

Hello Mr. Smash,

I have read your column for a while now, and I have usually found your site very entertaining. So first off, thanks for running your site. However, I am writing you today to pass along a revelation I had over the holiday break, and felt you would appreciate it.

Over the years, I have witnessed your love of all things "Alien" and your hatred of anything past Aliens 3. As well as your religious hatred for all of the AVP stuff. Now in my heart, I must admit I am more of a Predator fan than an alien fan, but I would agree that the quality of the movies alien and aliens are superior to the predator movies when it comes to cinematic quality. I just like the predator creature more. Either way, I have found amusement in your nit-picking of certain body designs of the aliens, and your scrutiny of certain failings of the past movies and directions that the creatures have been taken, but I didn't really feel as passionate about any of it as you. I felt quite content in my "eh, they are just fun movies" mentality.

That is until last Saturday night.

When I watched AVP: Requiem for the first time.

Now I had watched AVP 1, and knew it was shit, but for the most part it was just aliens fighting predators, and that's all I wanted. Even though they made both creatures out to be chumps of their former glory. But for some reason, AVP2 just went too far. I found myself yelling at the screen, explaining to my wife the ins and outs of why the movie was so horrible and inaccurate. I began quoting specific lines of dialogue from the original movies, and citing specific biological terms of alien parts and predator technology. Making bold statements such as "But they just don't work that way! It goes against the whole point of what the aliens are!"

It then spiraled into why Aliens 4 and AVP1 were crap as well. Watching that movie, my mind just painted pictures of a room full of morons, writing the plots as a committee. "And then it would be cool if the predator pulled his shoulder gun off and used it like a pistol! Yeah and maybe he could hold it sideways! Oh and make the alien mix with the predator to a super creature! Don't forget to add some blonde who takes her pants off! We need 12% more sex appeal according to our chart here"

Bah! Either way, I just wanted to say keep up the good fight. Your hatred is well founded.

-Rob G.

Ha, awesome.

Thanks!