JIMPRAISE WEEK: TOP 17 EWOKS

"JimPRAISE!"
Due to excessive amounts of hate mail wrongfully accusing that I am always negative, I proposed to you Readers a week of "JimPRAISE". I asked for suggestions of topics for me to post only POSITIVE things about, and you answered (you Jackals!). I have chosen the top 5 requested topics and will post 1 per day this week. Just remember, you asked for these.

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In conjunction with "JimPRAISE Week",
I give you the
TOP 17 EWOKS!

(because you love them so!)

*Note: This post was originally to be a quick gag of absurdity. But after an excessive amount of time researching for said post, I now know waaaaaay too much about Ewoks. I blame you, my readers, and therefore I hate you all. Enjoy!

(below info gathered from the Star Wars Wiki)

17) WIDDLE WARRICK

Aka "Willy". Willy was Wicket's goofy, chubby, and clumsy brother. He was the black sheep of the Warrick family. And yes, his name is "Widdle".

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16) WEECHEE WARRICK

Wicket's older (and stronger) brother! Him and Paploo - yeah, they're the strongest Ewoks of the village. He'll always try to get you to wrestle, then take whatever food you may have. God, he's such a dick!

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15) DEEJ WARRICK
Wicket's daddy!

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14) KAINK

Kaink is the Ewok PRIESTESS, which means she's the guardian of the Soul Trees as well as keep of Ewok Legends. That's right, she carries a magical staff with a crystal on top, so don't you be messin' with her!

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13) WAROK

Warok is the best Ewok Glider pilot. Yet he doesn't get the credit - people tend to think he is the ewok in the Glider in Return of the Jedi, but he's not. He's got the Right Stuff - all the glory, none of the fame. He's like the Chuck Yeager of Ewoks. He's also believed to be Paploo's father.

"Warriors to your wings! Warok will lead us.

Mates and elders, watch over the children. We fly!"

―Chief Chirpa

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12) LUMAT
Chief woodcutter!
Weapons supplier & dealer.

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11) ROMBA

Romba is the main dude who built the booby traps that foiled the Galactic Empire during the Battle of Endor. Also, he's the ewok who barely escaped an explosion, but lost his buddy. He's like the Ewok Macgyver.

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10) CHIEF CHIRPA

Hel-loo, he's the Chief! Which means he's the head of his tribe's Council of Elders. You can tell by the reptilian staff decorated with teeth & horns that he carries, which denotes his rank.

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9) TEEBO

Teebo is the pupil to the Village Shaman, Logray. He wears the skull of a Gurrek on his noggin. He always kinda freaked me out... but also looked like a stone-cold bad ass.

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8) BABY EWOKS!

Admit it - they're cute.

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7) THE INGLORIOUS BASTARDS DEATH SQUAD
Don't let the cute furry exterior fool you - Ewoks are terrifying.
They're like Chimps...
one minute they're wearing a cute tuxedo making you laugh...
the next, they're ripping off your arms
and skull fucking you into Oblivion.

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6) FALLEN SOLDIER
*sniffle* sumfin in muh eye is all....

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5) LEIA'S LOVERS

What happens in the Ewok Village, stays in the Ewok Village.

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4) EWOK GLIDER EWOK!
(Not Warok)

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3) LOGRAY

He's the tribes shaman, man. Everyone likes to laugh at Logray because he's just a "crazy old wizard" believing in a "hokey ancient Ewok magic". Well you know WHY he's the shaman of the village? Because he's able to tap into THE FORCE, that's why. Not laughing now, are you? Jerk. Respect!

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2) PAPLOO

Who feels the need.
The need... for speed.

Hey, he rode a Speeder Bike.
Regardless of silliness, on principle, he gets props.

(and he's played by Kenny "R2-D2" Baker!)

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1) WICKET
He's the kid ewok that, like Luke, steps into a much larger world.
Plus its Warrick Davis, so by default he's on the list.

I also put him at #1 so I didn't get a ton of hate mail
saying,"What? Wicket's not #1? Screw you, you loser!"
...and so on.
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*jimPRAISE: Star Wars Prequels
*jimPRAISE: AVP-R
*jimPRAISE: Wolverine Movie

*jimPRAISE: Batman & Robin Movie