GUEST DOUCHEBAG OF THE DAY: GAMESTOP

We have a special guest writer today who would like to go off on his own personal Douchebag of the Day: GAMESTOP. So please give a round of applause for JASON!

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Gamestop: The only retail video game store left.
In the last 5 years, they have bought all of their competition. They own EBgames, Funcoland, Planet X, and Babbages among others. So.. now that they have no competition,

They are ONLY selling their PS3's online as "bundles" for mid-Jan delivery. For the low low price of $985.00. What's in the bundle you ask?

1) Base system 60gig version $600
2) Wireless extra controller $50
3) NBA07 game $60
rated 4.9/10
"doesn't have the entertaining story mode that the PlayStation 2 version has, but it does have most of that version's flaws, and some new ones, too."
4) Untold Legends: Dark Kingdom game $60
rated 6/10
"unremarkable hack-and-slash game whose most noteworthy feature
seems to be that it's coming out at the launch of the PS3."
5) Full Auto 2 $60
5.7/10
"technically proficient, but almost every aspect of this car combat
game's gameplay is messed up in one way or another."
6) Resistance: Fall of Man $60
8.6/10 only bundled game that looks cool

Total so far is $890,
$180 in totally crap worthless games which will be in the "under $20" bin by Feb. So for your extra $105 of "bundle value" you get:

7) Resistance: Fall of Man Official Strategy Guide
(I personally hate strategy guides for "story" based games,
what the hell is fun about repeating the exact steps from a book
complete with maps? No plot suprises, no immersion, no sense of accomplishment
They should add a final page to these guides telling the person to
jump off a roof, with a map and diagram.)
8) 1 year product replacement plan (extended warranty)
(the PS2 only had a 90 day factory warranty, the PS3 comes with a 1 year factory warranty
I'd only buy one of the extended warranties if the product was used.)
9) 12 month subscription to Gamestop owned Game Informer Magazine.
(The number 1 gaming magazine...
Amazing how fast you can become #1 when you become the only one
visible in the store for sale, uhh since we own all retail game stores,
how about we put all the competitor's magazines in the "special" storage file)

Honorable Mention of things to bundle with the PS3 that didn't quite make it:
Buttplug "precationary measure to widen your anus for the PS4 launch"
Breadmaker "everyone needs one"
Stealth Blu-Ray Disc
"I bought a PS3 bundle and it came with this shirt" t-shirt
A Nintendo Wii "so you might have fun."
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*thanks, Jason! And nice stab against Stealth. Punk. Hahaha!