Wednesday, July 16, 2014

NEW JUDAS PRIEST - "REDEEMER OF SOULS"

I love the new Judas Priest album "REDEEMER OF SOULS". It's a great blend of their amazing speed metal album "Painkiller" and their groovetastic 70s material. Its a solid amalgam of all good things Priest to date, while still feeling new and fresh! Well done, Metal Gods!

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Here's an amazon review excerpt of the "Redeemer of Souls" that I had to share, by THE TUCSON MANIMAL:

"I am a fat and ugly 43 year-old guy who has been listening to Judas Priest since 1984 when I was a skinny pale virgin prowling the the mall trying to pick-up skinny rocker chics who looked sleazy. Not much has changed over the past 30 years; only now, I am fat, balding and wear glasses, but I still live in my mom's basement that I call "The Matrix", where I still listen to Judas Priest with my 3 cats; Neo, Trinity and Morpheus, and I still prowl the mall and Walmart with Viagra in my pocket, looking for old sexy sleazy petite rocker meth chics who live in trailers, because they are so uninhibited and nasty in the bedroom! They rock my world just like Judas Priest's new slab of metal "Redeemer Of Souls", which is similar to "Painkiller", in many ways, only with a slight restrained feel. In fact, I would say that "Painkiller" would be the closest prior Judas Priest release that it resembles, mixed with elements of earlier classics like "British Steel" and "Stained Class". I've seen Judas Priest live 26 times, from my first concert at the Spectrum, growing-up in the ghetto in Philadelphia, to here in the sweltering desert of Tucson, Arizona. If there was a prize for "Biggest Judas Priest Fan", I believe I would be nominated! Although my taste in metal has gotten heavier over the years, listening to more Thrash and Melodic Death (The Very End, early In Flames, But We Try It, Testament, One Man Army And The Undead Quartet, Overkill, Children Of Bodom, Witchery and Heaven Shall Burn), Judas Priest will forever remain a favorite of mine, as this English group sparked my love for metal and has consistently released top-notch Heavy Metal over the past 40 years (aside from a FEW duds!), along with Germany's Accept....

....Anyways, I was just cruising in my mom's red convertible 1985 Pontiac Sunbird with the top down while the cool night air blew-across my balding head, while listening to "Redeemer Of Souls" on my iPod [the car radio is broken!], playing the air guitar on the steering-wheel and screaming along with Halfie. All of the undocumented Hispanic and Guatemalan refugee chics were checkin'-me-out, wishin' they were mine! I was checkin' them out too; these American chics are just too materialistic and expensive to date anymore! [I just don't have the money for a Louie Vuitton purse!] I was like a tiger in heat on the prowl for love in my maroon Burger King polo which I wear 2 sizes too small because it makes my biceps look thicker! Then my mom, who was sitting in the back seat, tapped me on the shoulder and yelled "Barney, watch the fu**in' road!" Thats okay, later this evening, I have two escorts from Craigslist coming-over [I am a regular of theirs], and I am gonna put "Redeemer Of Souls" on shuffle and repeat on my Pioneer stereo and show them why they call me "The Manimal", until my mom bangs on the floor with her broom handle and says "Barney, shut the f**k up!" like she always does! It will be $300.00 well spent, as was the money I spent for this deluxe edition! Sure, I may be a loser who's gotta pay for a "piece", but I will sure feel like a winner later, with "Redeemer Of Souls" blastin' and two 40-ish year old sexy rocker-chics who look like Kristen Chenoweth on meth! Plus, with these two open-minded nasty ladies, anything goes; unlike the uptight career-minded professional women who listen to John Mayer and Jack Johnson! Ladies who listen to Judas Priest [metal] get down to business! There is no shame in my game! I hope this review was helpful! If this review was not helpful, I am sorry for letting you down, but, like I tell my parents and my manager Wendell at Burger King - I think your expectations were much too high of me!... Take care, and stay metal! I gotta go buy some King Cobra malt liquor for my lady friends later!...."

1 comment:

IsuzuGeek said...

My friend plays in a Judas Priest cover band down there....Just Like Priest. You should go see them!